Took another test this morning, mostly because I had one sitting around (it was originally a 3-pack). I knew it would show the same result, and sure enough, there it was. And yet, somehow, it’s still not very real. Intellectually, I get it. Positive is positive. But I’m somehow convinced it’s not real.
I keep wanting to call people and tell them, but my next thought is then “you know, you’re going to feel really stupid when you have to tell them you were wrong.” I can’t really imagine that it will start to feel real until I go to the doctor and get some independent confirmation. But that’s four weeks away! I suppose I might start to believe if I start feeling nauseous all the time, but so far I feel pretty normal.
I feel like, this being a pretty huge deal and all, that I should be under the immediate supervision of a physician. Shouldn’t there be tests run, restrictions placed, advice given? Nope. Just take the prenatal vitamins, and we’ll see you at 10 weeks. 10 weeks?? I was lucky, what would be 10 weeks for me is a super-busy time at work, so I was able to convince the woman at the doctor’s office to schedule me a week earlier. But even still, almost a month away. Ugh. This is not going to be a fun wait.
The debate regarding who to tell and when rages on. We both really want to tell our mothers, and I’m actually going to see mine next week (neither of them live near us). Do I take the opportunity to tell her in person, or do I wait a few weeks until the doctor’s appointment, but then have to tell her on the phone? Decisions…
That’s all for now, just sitting around thinking about it, not believing it, wondering when I’ll start to feel “different.” Every slight twinge, every turn of my stomach is under scrutiny. Is that first-trimester nausea, or just a plain-old upset stomach? Is that fatigue, or is it just a lazy, rainy day?
Alas, not much to do except twiddle my thumbs and wonder. And take those prenatal vitamins…
