Not surprisingly, it’s official.
Took the test as soon as I got home from the airport this evening. I thought I might wait until morning, but that wasn’t happening. It turned positive before it even got to the control. So, no questions there! In the morning, I’ll call the doctor. I’m almost positive she’ll send me for a blood test, but the question is whether or not I’ll get an early ultrasound like last time. If not, my 10 week appointment will likely be at the end of January. Cross your fingers that I make it that far this time…
I’m terrified, of course. But what scares me the most is that I’m starting to get excited. It’s happening rather in spite of myself. I’m both excited and majorly ambivalent. I don’t want to get excited, because I don’t want to be disappointed.
When I came down from the bathroom and told my husband that it was (not surprisingly) positive, I said “here we go again.” He asked if I was ready to do this all again. Not only is it a little late for that, but I don’t know that I can be any more ready. Which is not to say that I feel supremely prepared, but rather that I don’t think I can actually be all that prepared.
So, here we go again.
