Finally heard back from my doctor’s office just now. It’s the worst, waiting for that return phone call. Though I can imagine it was crazy for them today, coming off of a holiday weekend. When I called just after 9AM, I actually got a busy signal. I guess everyone else had been waiting for them to open, too!
Not a lot of new news, but at least new things on the upcoming to-do list. I’m getting my blood drawn again this evening to see if the numbers have continued to rise, and I’m scheduled for another ultrasound on Wednesday, January 10. That will be about a week and a half after the first one, and about the limit of how long I could wait. Though the doctor pointed out (legitimately, of course) that the longer I wait, the better chance I stand of seeing the heartbeat, I can only handle so much. So, a week from tomorrow it is.
Though I’m very anxious to get some kind of news (anything!), I seem to be keeping a decent hold of my semi-zen state of mind. It’s not to say I’m not checking to see if I’m bleeding every 35 minutes, and it’s not to say I wouldn’t be horribly disappointed if things turn our badly again. It just means that I’m in this relatively calm (for me) state of acceptance. I’m doing everything I can, taking my medicine and vitamins, avoiding things that are bad for me… and that’s all I can do at this point. If that little cluster of cells isn’t going to develop the way it’s supposed to, it won’t be for lack of trying on my part. It will just be because that’s the way things are.
I also don’t mean to sound defeatist, as though I’m already giving up on this pregnancy. I’m not. I desperately want this to work out, even if it means two or three at a time (ha!). But I also can’t allow myself to get super-excited right now, having been through the miscarriage. The delighted excitement only makes the crash to rock bottom even harder. I’m going to try to let the excitement build more gradually as I (hopefully) get good news.
So, that’s the (non)update for today. Back tomorrow, cross your fingers that the hCG results will be encouraging.
hi there, i wish you the best! I know how hard it is to wait because I have been there a few times myself! Do you know if they are checking your Progesterone levels as well as HcG?
I know some women who just don’t seem to make enough of that on their own to sustain a pregnancy (I am apparently 1 of them) and now I am nine weeks along and so far things are good. Might be something for you to inquire about since you can take progesterone if it is low. They can check they level at the same time as HcG.
Good luck to you! I admire your positive attitude and wish sticky baby dust to us both!