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Archive for July 2007

I wasn’t all wrong

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)·   July 31st, 2007

Still pregnant!

But I wasn’t totally off the mark, as yesterday was a rather new and different day.

I called my OB’s office to report the new pressure I was having, mostly to ask if I should do anything or ask for anything special while I was already going to be at the hospital. My doctor wasn’t in, but my favorite doctor (ha!) from a few weeks ago called back and said I should come by the office after the NST for an exam, presumably to see if my cervix was dilating. Sounds like fun!

Off to the hospital. The BPP ultrasound went just fine, both babies dutifully practicing their breathing motions, still plenty of fluid, all of that good stuff. The non-stress test started rough, though. For some reason, little miss really likes to sleep during those, so it’s been taking a while to get her to be “reactive.” We keep ending up needing to zap her with the little buzzer or poke her to get the heartrate variation we want. Once we finally had the results we wanted, the nurse was almost ready to let me go when she realized she had never taken my blood pressure. And then it got interesting. I never heard the actual reading, but it was apparently high enough that they decided to keep me a bit longer for monitoring, especially since it was taken after an hour of me lying down. The on-call doctor ordered blood tests to see if I was developing preeclampsia. Basically, if the bloodwork didn’t come back with good results, it was going to be birthday time. Yikes! Thankfully, it all came back just fine, kidney and liver function were good. Four hours after the start of the NST, they sent me home. I had missed the opportunity to go in and get checked at the OB’s office, so I was instructed to call her in the morning.

Of course, as soon as I left, the back pain I had been experiencing in the uncomfortable hospital bed turned into pressure, and soon I was having regular cramping. By 7:30, it would start as a low back pain that wrapped around my lower belly like a really bad menstrual cramp. Hubby and I started timing them, and they were about 9-10 minutes apart, with sometimes a lesser aftershock at 4-5 minutes. I remembered my OB saying I should call anytime I had anything regular and painful, so call I did. The on-call doctor sent me back to L&D, so at nearly 11pm, off we went. The cramps indeed showed up as contractions on the monitor (it’s not all in my head), and babies were good and active, not distressed at all by these new developments. They were still relatively far apart and somewhat irregular, though. And when the nurse did my very first internal exam (short fingers! OW!!), we discovered I was not even a little bit dilated. The contractions, fun though they were, were not making changes in my cervix. So at about 1:00am, back home we went. I had been worried about a “false alarm,” but the nurse reassured me that I had done the right thing to call and come in, and not to worry about it.

Unfortunately, the contractions stuck around all night, ranging between 4 and 20 minutes apart. And these were not the painless braxton hicks I’ve had for the last many weeks. These hurt, enough that I had to really concentrate on breathing through them and not tensing up the rest of my body. Needless to say, it was an awful night’s sleep.

I talked to my OB this morning. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a big part of me that sort of hoped she’d tell me to head in and just deliver today. But as the contractions were still irregular and not close together, she wanted me to stick it out and wait at least for tomorrow’s growth check at the peri’s office. Much as I’d love to be done, the babies are still officially premature at this point, so we need a better reason than discomfort to justify delivering them. She was kind enough to say that she half hoped that tomorrow’s ultrasound would show slowed growth so I could get it over with, but in the meantime, the plan is to just kind of suck it up. (No, she obviously doesn’t want my babies to not grow well! She just understands how “done” I am…)

After a few more contractions this morning, they more or less petered out by about 11am. I’m still having some low back pain, but it’s definitely not the contractions I was having earlier. I’m resting and drinking my water like a good girl, and hopefully will get in a good nap to try to make up for last night.

Tomorrow at 11 is the big (final!) growth ultrasound, so we’ll see how it looks. If either of them has slowed down or stopped growing, it may very well be delivery time. If not, well, I get to keep on hanging out until I either go into labor on my own (which is feeling more likely!) or make it to August 9.

Things are getting interesting around here!

Comments (4)
Categories : Hospital, Pregnancy, Ultrasounds
Tags : blood draw, blood pressure, contractions, nonreactive, NST/BPP, preterm labor

Funny feeling

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   July 30th, 2007

It would be a lie of omission if I neglected to say that I have a funny feeling today. Of course, I almost feel foolish saying it out loud, because that makes it almost certain nothing will happen. But it is what it is.

By about halfway through last night, I was even more uncomfortable than usual. Hips really hurting, more lower back pain than usual, and even a sharp cramp or two. Once I finally got up, I’ve had the distinct feeling that one of the babies has dropped. Not that I can necessarily breathe a whole lot easier, but more for the serious pressure I’m feeling in my lower back, bum, and general pelvic area. Walking wasn’t easy before, but now it’s a pretty serious slow waddle. I don’t think I’m feeling any more contractions than usual, and unless it’s a very slow leak, I don’t think my membranes have ruptured.

Anyways, now that I’ve written it down, I’m sure it will be absolutely nothing and I’ll feel a little silly going another 10 days before babies. But nonetheless, I’m making sure the last few items are packed in my hospital bag. I’m interested to see what today’s BPP/NST brings…

Comments (1)
Categories : Pregnancy
Tags : discomfort

Thirty-five weeks

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (2)·   July 27th, 2007

I am 35 weeks pregnant today. Yahoo! This has been an important milestone in my head for nearly the entire pregnancy, and here I am. For one thing, I’ve managed to surpass my own gestation, having been born about 6 weeks early. I also know that many, many babies born 35 weeks or later do not end up requiring a stay in the NICU, which is just awesome. No guarantees, of course, but a good thought nonetheless. I have less than two weeks to go to my scheduled c-section. But after all of the concern about going into preterm labor, I can honestly say that if my water decides to break now, you won’t hear me complaining.

My first week at home has gone quite well. I was worried about being bored, but that just wasn’t in the cards at all! Monday was a BPP/NST day, and everything looked fine. I was feeling good enough that I even let myself take a quick trip to the grocery store so it wouldn’t be yet another night of takeout. Tuesday I went to a “playgroup” with other new moms of twins. They ranged from 7-15 weeks old, so that was kind of fun. Mine will be the youngest of the bunch, of course, but it was great to hang out with other moms. And after that, I had to take my new car back to the dealer to pick up my registration and get the state inspection done, so there went most of my day! Wednesday the cable guy was coming, so I ended up spending the whole day at home, which felt just fine. Thursday was OB and hospital day (the elevator to my OB’s 3rd floor office was out – talk about cruel), and today I took a brief trip to the YMCA to float in the pool! Walking past the mirror in my maternity swimsuit was somewhere between comical and terrifying.

It’s been hot and muggy here in New England, and I already have pretty low energy just from being, well, enormous. So the time that I do spend just hanging on the couch and watching TV actually feel pretty nice. I’ve still got some errands to run, but they can happen this weekend with hubby’s help. In the meantime, I’m going to try not to get too paranoid in making sure both babies are moving regularly. Next week should feel similar to this one – BPP/NST on Monday and Wednesday, pre-op appointment with the OB on Friday. They keep you busy with all of these appointments!

Comments (2)
Categories : Milestones, Pregnancy
Tags : errands, heat, NST/BPP, playgroup

T-minus 17 days and counting

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   July 23rd, 2007

I have a date for my c-section.

Certainly, as previously discussed, things could change between now and then, and earlier could become better. But if everything continues to march along nicely, then these babies will be born on Thursday, August 9th.

How crazy is that??

I will continue to have my twice-weekly BPP/NST combo, plus my weekly OB checkup, and the next ultrasound growth check remains August 1. Assuming all is well, I will have a pre-op appointment with my OB on August 3, which I understand to be more of a discussion on what to expect with the surgery. On August 8, I will have pre-op testing at the hospital. And on August 9, I am expected to report to Labor & Delivery at 8:30am, for a scheduled surgery at 10:30. I will be 36 weeks, 6 days.

I can still hardly believe I have just over two weeks remaining. This has all gone so fast! I’m beyond excited. I’m excited to meet these two, though certainly anxious to make sure they’re both OK. And honestly, I just plain can’t wait to get my body back. Everything hurts, everything is uncomfortable. I apologized in advance to my husband, because I think I’m going to burst into tears every night between now and then, out of the sheer frustration and discomfort of late-stage pregnancy. But the end is very much in sight. Hallelujah.

Oh crap. I have a lot to do!!

Comments (1)
Categories : Hospital, Pregnancy
Tags : c-section, discomfort

The white tornado

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (0)·   July 22nd, 2007

My dad, stepmom, and stepsister were in town for a visit this weekend. It was fun to have them around, and they were an immense amount of help. For one thing, it was great to have my dad with me when I went to trade in my car and buy the minivan. I dread all things haggling, and was nervous about being talked into things that were unnecessary. Dad has purchased a lot of vehicles in his day, so it was good to have his experience and confidence next to me. It also helped that I had not only researched the heck out of the car itself, but had dutifully looked up Kelly Blue Book values for both the new and my trade-in. I didn’t need to come out feeling like I had gotten a steal, I just wanted to know I wasn’t paying more than I should. They ended up basically accepting the KBB values, and we were off.

But even better than the emotional support of Friday afternoon was the white tornado that came through my house on Saturday. I can’t be on my feet for more than 5-10 minutes without my ankles swelling to alarming proportions, and my beloved husband was passed out upstairs, having worked from 10pm to 10am (after a normal 10-6 day before then – he doesn’t normally work the night shift). And in truth, I’ve just never been a spectacular housekeeper. So it’s safe to say that things were a little on the messy/cluttered side.

After insisting that I sit on the couch with my new copy of Harry Potter and a bag of frozen peas on my elevated feet, the family went nuts. My dad mowed the lawn, busted out the weed whacker, and later put together a whole bunch of baby stuff. My stepmom cleaned the kitchen and dining room to within an inch of their lives. My stepsister painted our new-but-unfinished front door.

I couldn’t, in good conscience, spend the entire day reading on the couch, so I did get up and try to at least help people figure out where things ought to go. I offered up vast amounts of amazement and gratitude at their hard work on our behalf. The first floor looks like a new place, entirely. And as quickly as they arrived, they were gone, back to Chicago. It was a brief visit, though I have no doubt that they’ll be back on the first plane as soon as the new grandbabies arrive.

So a big huge thank you to my dad, stepmom, and stepsister. They did exactly what you would hope. They didn’t come to stare at my enormous belly, though that was clearly an enjoyable perk for them. They came to help, and help they did. It was awesome.

Comments (0)
Categories : Family, Pregnancy
Tags : cleaning, Dad, new car, pregnancy symptoms, Stepmom, Stepsister, swollen feet

All I need are some soccer balls

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (2)·   July 21st, 2007

Another milestone in my adult life has been reached.

My Jeep was coming up on 8 years old (only 56,000 miles, thank you!), and I had long known the time was approaching for a trade-in. For the last couple of years, I couldn’t take it in for repairs without the mechanic finding three other broken things and it costing at least $1000. I like driving an SUV. I particularly like having the space to haul things, and I really like not having to worry too much when it snows in New England. My husband’s Jetta might be confined to the driveway for a week, but not me and the Jeep.

But its time was nearing, so I long thought I might go for a small SUV, like a Subaru Forester or Rav-4 or something. Still hearty, still plenty of space, still the ability to get places in the snow. But a little less of a behemoth, both in physical size and outrageous gas mileage. Sure, I knew we were going to try to get pregnant soon, but there’s no reason you can’t put a carseat in a Forester. The minivan, I laughed, could wait until the second child.

Heh.

Once we knew the twins were on their way, I knew the minivan was going to be the way to go. I resisted the idea a bit. Somehow the idea of being 28 years old and driving a minivan was just too strange. My mom drives a minivan, not me. But the draw of the dual power sliding doors was too great. So, on Friday, I said goodbye to my Jeep Grand Cherokee and hello to my Toyota Sienna.

Though I keep wondering what stranger has parked in my driveway, I cannot deny that it’s a great car. It drives really well, has an obscene amount of space (and I thought my Jeep was huge), and still has better gas mileage than I used to. And though I hadn’t intended to get all of the options, that’s pretty much what they have on the lot at the end of the model year. My dad decided the rear-seat DVD system was the best thing ever when we put on the Big Lebowski on the way to dinner Friday night.

It still smells like new car, and has not yet been pimped a-la Zima. The carseat bases are installed, and the dog is amazed at how much there is to sniff back there. I really do like it, even if it feels surreal. Now I just need some soccer balls in the back, and I’ll really be on my way.

DSC_0003
Oh, and I swear it’s a bad angle and I really do look pregnant. Not just hugely fat.

Comments (2)
Categories : Stuff, stuff, and more stuff
Tags : baby gear, minivan, new car, Toyota Sienna

Hospital day, 33w6d

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   July 19th, 2007

An interesting day, indeed, at the hospital. Today was a growth check with the ultrasound, in addition to the biophysical profile. Both babies passed the BPP, though we had to poke little boy to get him to wake up and move around for us. Weight estimates were encouraging, but interesting… Baby girl appears to have had a bit of a spurt and put on a full pound to reach 4lb4oz. Baby boy actually slowed down and gained only 10oz to reach 5lb3oz. Of course, these are estimates, and can arguably be further off the bigger (and more crowded) the babies get. But still, very encouraging that little miss continues to grow. An unusual twist, however, that her brother is slowing down. He also appears to have a bit less fluid than she does. As the peri said, it’s not as worrisome as it would be if little girl was the one with less fluid, but something to keep an eye on, nonetheless. Non-stress test was just fine, and as of next week, I’m going to actually go in TWICE every week. Good thing I’m done working!

The craziest part of the visit, however, was our discussion of when to deliver. First of all, if I go into labor spontaneously anytime tomorrow or later, they will not attempt to stop me. If it were to peter out on its own, they wouldn’t try to restart it, but they won’t stop me. OK. Wow. And then she said, “so, when do you think we should have these babies? I’m thinking 36-37 weeks.” Whoa!! Used to be 38, then 37-38… now 36? Holy crap! That’s two weeks!!

Basically, the plan is this: I’ll have my twice-per-week BPP and NST. If anything looks concerning, they might decide it’s a good day for a birthday. My next growth check will be in two weeks (August 1, to be precise). If either one of their growth has slowed or stopped? Birthday time. If growth is still good, they’ll schedule me for induction or c-section at right about 37 weeks.

WOW! I can barely wrap my mind around it. Three weeks at the most, possibly two or less. I’m pretty darn excited, but mostly it’s just not sinking in at all.

I’m off to my OB’s office shortly, where we definitely need to have a discussion about delivery method. Baby boy seems to have really taken over at the baby A position, and is head down, so vaginal delivery is an option on the table. We shall see.

Oh, and my blood pressure seemed to be creeping up at the NST today. We’ll see if that issue proves to be the dark horse that determines birthday time. I’ll update after the OB’s office if there are any interesting developments.

OB Update
After talking to my OB, she’s totally cool with me going directly for the c-section. She seemed to think it was probably a good idea in my case. If I change my mind and/or they both flip to vertex, I’m welcome to try for vaginal (if they don’t flip, then only if she’s the one on call, because she’ll do a breech extraction of twin B). But otherwise, she’s going to schedule my c-section for right about 37 weeks! To be moved up if things change, of course. Holy crap!!

Comments (1)
Categories : Hospital, OB Appointments, Pregnancy, Ultrasounds
Tags : blood pressure, c-section, discordant growth, NST/BPP, perinatologist, preterm labor

The return of semi-zen

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   July 18th, 2007

Last night was the monthly moms-of-twins “cope” meeting, which is sort of an informal support group. The range of people included two other pregnant women (20 and 25 weeks), through moms of toddlers, and even an adoptive mom and a woman who had twins through a surrogate. Always nice to hear other people’s experiences. While there were plenty of women who carried to 36+ weeks, there were also some preemies who arrived at 27 and 31 weeks (who are perfectly healthy toddlers now, by the way). I was practically applauded for showing up at nearly 34 weeks, and I really do feel proud of how far I’ve managed to get.

I realized I’m going back to the semi-zen state of mind I had (at least sometimes) in my first trimester. It’s a kind of acceptance that I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do, and whatever happens from this point forward is, to an extent, out of my control. I’m going to continue to rest, drink my water, take my vitamins, and go to my doctors’ appointments. I would love for them to stay on the inside for another 2-3 weeks. But if it happens that these babies are born tomorrow or next week or whatever, then so be it. I am certainly feeling optimistic that, at this level of gestation, chances are very high for a good outcome for all three of us. And I’ve done what little I can to see to that. So I’m kind of releasing myself to fate, and we’ll see what the next days and weeks have in store.

This is not to say that I’ve let go of my worry, or that I’m not thinking about all of this constantly. But it’s sort of an attempt to let go of the pressure/responsibility of keeping them in as long as possible. Yes, I’ll do what I can, but there comes a point when it just isn’t up to me.

P.S.
Dear babies: please stay in at least until Monday or Tuesday. Mommy needs to get her geek on one last time and finish Harry Potter.
Dear readers: woe betide the person who thinks it would be funny to post a spoiler in the comments. Hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman spoiled… I’ll be happy to discuss it in detail after I’m done. Don’t worry, I’m a very fast reader.

Comments (1)
Categories : Pregnancy, Secret society of twin moms
Tags : preterm labor

Uncle

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (2)·   July 17th, 2007

I surrender. And I’m OK with it.

Not even two weeks ago, I was certain I’d make it to my original goal of working to 35 weeks. Sure, 35 was a somewhat arbitrary deadline, but it was the one I’d made. And it was so very close. It really felt like a done deal.

But after this weekend’s minor scare, and my seemingly exponential daily increase in discomfort, I’ve decided to bump it up. For one thing, I’m sleeping so poorly at night that I’m downright exhausted when it comes to getting up in the morning. I noticed quite an improvement without having to wake up to the alarm this weekend, so it was a bit jarring to have to wake up at 7am yesterday. Between the weekend and Monday morning, I was starting to really wonder if I’d make it to the 27th. My boss walked in and looked into my office and said “every Monday, I see you and I can’t believe you’re still here!” Suddenly, I sort of felt the same way. And then I looked at our office calendar for the month, and realized that both my boss and another of my favorite coworkers will be on vacation next week. I added it all up, and decided staying an extra week would buy me nothing, and would be a pretty anticlimactic way to end. And so, instead of 35 weeks, I’m going to stop working this Friday, at 34 weeks. I feel good about it, too. I don’t feel like I “fell short.” I know that I should be proud of making it this far in the first place, and I am.

I’m relieved, excited, sad, and nervous, all at once. I’m quite looking forward to not having to wake up at a particular time, and being able to have my poor, fat feet elevated for much of the day. And I’m excited yet in disbelief that I’m in such a final phase of the countdown. I’m also nervous, both for the next couple of weeks as well as what comes afterwards. I’m worried about the potential boredom of being at home by myself, with very limited ability to go out and do things on my own. That doesn’t tend to go well with me. And certainly I’m concerned about the delivery, wanting the babies to be alright, and then everything that comes after.

It’s also very bittersweet to be leaving my job. When I saw the description posted on the college website more than two and a half years ago, I nearly fell out of my chair. It was as though someone had taken my resume and used it to write the position description. Combination academic advising and admissions (without the travel), master’s degree in counseling desired, string players preferred. I was working at another college literally two doors down at the time. I walked my resume over to HR the next afternoon, had an interview a few days later, and within a week of seeing it posted, I was hired. Like any job, it has had its quirks and pitfalls, but I have really loved it. I love the people I work with, I love the environment, I love my mish-mosh of the two jobs I really wanted, all wrapped up in one.

And on Friday, I’ll walk out the door. My sixteen weeks of maternity leave (thank you, Massachusetts) take me almost to Thanksgiving, but I doubt I’ll be returning at that point. Financially, it just doesn’t make any sense. I’d pay more for childcare than I’d actually take home from working. And much as I love my job, I’m not sure I love it enough to not be there with my kids, at least for the first year or so. I’m nervous about being a stay-at-home mom, but I’ve got a few things in place to try to make it manageable. I’ll really miss my coworkers, and I’ll even miss just coming to work sometimes. But off I go, on my new adventure.

I just hope I don’t go into labor before Friday. I think I can make it another three days…

Comments (2)
Categories : Pregnancy, SAHM, Uncomfortable, Working
Tags : discomfort, maternity leave, pregnancy symptoms

Floating away

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   July 15th, 2007

I’ve long been a water nut. Not always, but especially once I started Weight Watchers many years ago (and stopped, and started again, but that’s another post) and saw the miracle of lost water weight, I was a convert. Water seems to be the cure for whatever ails ye. I noticed how much better I felt when I got my two quarts per day. Headaches fade away, rings fit better. The sun would shine and birds would chirp. I began to notice the alternate differences, too. If I had less water, suddenly I felt sluggish, and had to coax my wedding ring on and off my finger.

I knew pregnancy would throw things off just a little, but I figured if I just upped my intake a bit, I could keep on top of things. Sure, my rings stopped fitting around 12 weeks, but they were already snug due to extra weight I had put on pre-pregnancy, so that was to be expected. I kept drinking my 2-3 quarts per day, and all seemed well.

And then it got warm. My feet started to swell somewhat alarmingly, though a good night’s sleep and upping my minimum water intake to 3 quarts seemed to help. The last couple of weeks, even that hasn’t been enough. The best I can get out of my feet at the moment is “only slightly puffy.” And I used to have pretty nice feet! Alas, now they range from pillowy to sausage-like. Charming. But my seemingly good water intake has no noticeable effect. I mean, I suppose it might be keeping the worst of it at bay, but it certainly doesn’t bring things back to normal.

Last night was yet another wake-up call on hydration. Around 6:30pm, just sitting around watching TV, I noticed a contraction. Not painful, not particularly different from the occasional ones I’ve had for several weeks now. But then it happened again. I checked the time. I got probably six in about 45 minutes. As instructed, I dutifully contacted the on-call doctor. She asked how much water I’d had that day (2.5 quarts so far, thank you), and if I’d been particularly active (not in the least). As to be expected, I was instructed to lie down and drink as much water as I could. She also made sure to remind me to empty my bladder often. Since the great irony is that two causes for contractions are dehydration and a full bladder.

I was mildly skeptical, since after already consuming nearly 3 quarts of water, I couldn’t possibly be dehydrated. But she said that, if I came in, the first thing they’d do was hook me up to IV fluids. And since I’m really not a fan of unnecessary needles in my arm, I figured I’d follow orders at home. If the contractions didn’t peter out in an hour and a half, I was to call back.

Sure enough, one hour, half a gallon of water, and about nine trips to the bathroom later, the contractions had faded.

This was a wake-up call on several levels. For one, I was suddenly faced with the reality that things can change awfully quickly. Though I doubt I would have delivered the babies last night, there was suddenly a very real possibility of being placed on restrictions or drugs to postpone labor. Of course, that possibility had always been out there, but it suddenly felt real. It also alerted me to just how much water I should be drinking. It seems incredible. I can hardly keep up, just one refill of the Nalgene after another. And I thought I was peeing a lot before…

But hey, whatever it takes, right? Anything to keep these babies on the inside just a few more weeks. Even if it means I spend 1/3 of the day drinking water and another 1/3 on the toilet. If you see my eyes floating in their sockets, you’ll know I’m doing well.

Time for another refill.

Comments (1)
Categories : Pregnancy, Weird things no one tells you
Tags : contractions, hydration, pregnancy symptoms, preterm labor
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