My boobs, my choice

Last week we took a class through the hospital on breastfeeding. I have a very actively pro-breastfeeding hospital, so not only do they really encourage it and have lactation consultants on staff in the maternity ward, but they have a full Outpatient Lactation Center. They run a weekly moms’ group, offer one-on-one LC appointments, and even have a small shop of accessories like pillows, pumps, and nursing bras.

The class was taught by a nurse who reminded me very much of my mother-in-law (who is also a nurse). Same age, very practical and matter-of-fact. She gave a great overview of how breastmilk production actually works, and what to expect in the first couple of days. She didn’t go into great detail about all of the complications that can arise, but the point she hammered home was that you should get lots of help in the hospital, and make sure to set up an LC appointment within a few days of discharge. I’m not sure if I got a ton of brand new information out of the two-hour class, but I definitely left feeling more confident. It was great to see holds and latching demonstrated (even if it was with a doll), and to have a somewhat concrete idea of what to expect.

But my favorite part of the class was the instructor’s reaction to me being the only one in the room expecting twins. Or, rather, her non-reaction. Periodically through the class, she’d turn to my husband and me and suggest some different approach we’d take. She demonstrated a tandem hold as if it was no more unusual than a yoga teacher giving a modification to someone with a bad knee. While the rest of the class was looking at us, mouths agape, with the “better you than me” face on, the nurse talked to us as though it was the most normal variation in the world. It was incredibly refreshing.

I get a somewhat surprising amount of flak when I say I intend to breastfeed the twins. Like almost anything twin-related, this news seems to be greeted with a combination of fascination and fear. All but the most devoted lactators seem to think I’m nuts. Certainly, people who already have reservations about breastfeeding regard the idea of double duty as truly crossing the line from possible to insanity. Even those who would support breastfeeding, at least in theory, don’t understand how I could possibly manage doing it for two. Certainly, I’ll have to supplement with formula, as having enough milk to feed two just can’t be possible. In the end, nearly everyone is flabbergasted, and at best suggest that I’m foolishly naive.

Though I don’t anticipate becoming a lactation consultant myself, I’m finding myself amazed at the lack of knowledge and abundance of misinformation people gather about breastfeeding. Most clearly is the whole idea of supply and demand. So many new moms seem to think that they “aren’t producing enough” at the beginning (which is unlikely), and therefore supplement with formula, and then wonder why their supply doesn’t ever increase. They figure they just weren’t made for breastfeeding and give up. But if you take one class or read one book, you’ll know that milk supply is largely about making as much as you demonstrate you need. If you nurse a lot, you’ll make a lot. Certainly good nutrition and adequate hydration are also key factors, but barring unlikely complications, there’s no reason someone “can’t make enough” to feed one baby, much less two or three. That’s just how it works.

I think a lot of people assume that, since breastfeeding is “natural,” then they’ll just be able to do it without much thought or effort. After all, it’s natural. So if it doesn’t work right away, then clearly there’s something wrong with your wiring and you just aren’t going to be able to do it. The number of people who give up after two days, who never get help from a nurse or lactation consultant, just makes me sad. I don’t think any of these women are bad people. I think they’re stressed out new moms who just want to do the best for their babies, and if they don’t think their babies are being fed enough, they’ll do what they need to do. I just feel like, if they had only had some education, training, and support… so many more women could be successful.

This is not to say I have any problem with any mom who elects to formula feed. I won’t insist or really even suggest that breastfeeding is the right choice for everyone. Whichever method someone chooses, I think every mom has the right to make the choice that is best for baby and for mom. But I just wish that these could be a: more often fully-informed choices, and b: choices that people have the tools to follow through on.

So yes, people think I’m nuts for wanting to breastfeed my twins. And maybe I’ll find it just doesn’t work out or end up being the right choice for us. But right now, it’s the choice I’m aiming for. And I already feel like I’ve set myself up for success more than lots of other singleton moms out there. I’ve taken a class and done my reading, and talked to moms who have done it. I know it will start out difficult, I know I will need to visit the lactation consultant at least once, and I know I will question my choice. But I’m going into it with the belief that I will succeed. And why not?