My husband walked into the playroom/office. Stopped. Shook his head. Sighed.
“This is how we’re teaching our kids to live?”
It’s a mess. It’s always a mess. Our house is cluttered. Some days, some rooms are better than others. And it’s not like we’re dirty. We’re not candidates to be on the next episode of Hoarders. It’s just that there’s too much stuff, and it’s all over the place. It’s a mess. It’s always a mess. And this is what we’re teaching our kids.
M and I share the blame for the clutter. Oh, sure. It bothers me more often than it does him. He’s a guy, after all, and somehow has that selective vision that many of his gender share. And he’s arguably the one more likely to be a pack-rat who holds onto more items for mysterious sentimental or “just in case” value than I would. But I haven’t kept up with it, either. I can come up with reasons, of course. Not enough hours in the day, some lame idea that it’s not up to me, blah blah blah. It doesn’t matter. This is my house. This is my life. And this is what I’m modeling to my children.
It was when he put it that way that I really got smacked in the head with the seriousness of the situation. It’s not just that it’s kind of embarrassing when my mom comes to town, or that I’d rather have playdates in my yard than in my playroom. Though that, in itself, is bad enough. But the fact that I am very obviously modeling a behavior that I do not wish to see in my own children… well, there it is.
Obviously, you can think this way about nearly anything and it will either give you a pat on the back or a smack upside the head with regard to what you’re demonstrating to your kids. I’m going to try not to make myself crazy by examining every last facet of my life, all at once, with this question. But for now, I have to look around at my house, and think long and hard.
And so, let operation OMG PURGE THE CRAP begin. No room is safe. Toy purge. Clothes purge. Garage purge. I need the space. I need the air. I need the order. And I need to not teach my children that this level of mess is acceptable.
AWESOME! Good Luck!
We did this last June, because we had finally finished our remodel and were moving into the downstairs (unpacking most of our crap from the garage, where it had lived for two years) and realized that we didn’t need half of it. I love having a noncluttered house – it’s so much easier to clean, to entertain, to do anything!
We’re doing a multi-family yard sale on June 5th. You’re welcome to contribute.
.-= jane´s last blog .. =-.
I’m right there with you but sounds like M is more supportive than Husband is when I tell him we have to purge. One thing I would LOVE is a dumpster outside my house for 2 weeks. We had one when we did our kitchen renovation and I was able to get rid of so much bulky stuff. With turning our guest room into a nursery I had to try to find space for linens and other things we store in that closet. Not pretty.
.-= Mommy, Esq.´s last blog ..Diary of a Stay-at-Home Mom =-.
Awesome! I love me a good purge! And lately, its been especially enjoyable because of my nesting. I go on 30 minute cleaning rampages for no reason. I think Billy secretly loves this side of me.
You’ll get there. The thing about purging is (unless you’re actually a hoarder, which you are not) that you kind of need to just do it, like ripping off a band-aid. Get your self in the frame of mind where you won’t irrationally hold on to things (“but what if we need to use this in five years??!!”) and it should go smoothly. Also, if you don’t have a big chunk of time to devote to a big purge, do some FlyLady and break it up into 15 minute bursts. Before long, you’ll have much less crap in your house. And then it’s much easier to keep what you DO have organized.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Sitter Worthy? =-.
Oh, a good purge is so satisfying! I just throw away Seth’s stuff–he never misses it. Not the important stuff, but the things he’s forgotton about. Or the junk.
I recommend either the Goodwill truck at WF—who doesn’t need to get organic produce and purge on the same trip?!–or my favorite, put out by the trash with a sign that says “FREE”. Stuff goes like hotcakes around here!
Happy cleaning!
I am also struggling with the stuff issue. My problem is that all of our baby stuff is in the attic. And since my hubby wants to be “done with one” I guess it’s time to get rid of it? But I’m not sure my heart is 100% there. Perhaps if there is a neighborhood wide yard sale I’ll gird my loins (literally) and get rid of a bunch of stuff. In the meantime one of the things that helps me is to purge old toys and put them in diaper boxes. And then up inteh attic. At least it gets them out of the living spaces. Another thing is that we get a cleaning service every 2 weeks. It forces me to pick up the entire house and thing about all the “stuff.” Good luck! You will feel great when you can get moving on it!
.-= Stacey´s last blog ..Now that it’s Monday, I can relax =-.
Don’t beat yourself up too much. My parents always had clutter around and I am freakishly organized and neat. I through so many things away, that my friends are horrified. And my girls? Well, they hold on to EVERY. LITTLE. TINY. TOY. THEY. EVER. RECEIVE.
Good luck. I pretty much look at stuff and ask myself, have I used this in the past year? If not, then the likelihood of my using it again is slim enough to toss it.
I also can’t spell. I meant I throw so many things away. Sorry:)
I’ve been feeling the same way lately and really want to finally get my apartment in the shape I wanted it in before Lucy arrived… every day I make it my mission and every morning I need a nap and every afternoon I’m either out or making bottles or doing daily picking up or laundry or blah, blah, blah. I sooo want to make progress before I go back to work, but it is hard to find the time. Somehow I’m going to have to make the time though because this is driving me nuts and is only adding to the stress of a sick infant. Argh.
I sorta kinda started doing something similar recently. My friend Dustin inspired me. He’s set himself a goal of ridding himself of a thing a day for a year. I’ve definitely upped my Freecycle offers, and I recently made a nice big dropoff at Goodwill.
Jess isn’t a hoarder, and she recently berated me for not putting my shoes away. “If you leave your Crocs here, then your daughter will have to put it away. See? Your daughter has to put it away.” How’s that for embarrassment? Did I mention that this was in front of my mother-in-law?
Mel, like me, has trouble letting go of things. I did recently pack up a bunch of toys; the girls didn’t notice they were missing, so I think I’m due another Freecycle post. Hubby also recently went through his wardrobe and got rid of 3/4, and I got rid of almost all the too-small clothes … just in time to drop two sizes. Go figure.
.-= Sadia´s last blog ..Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts =-.
I worry about the opposite. For me and Jon, visual clutter is very draining, so our house is always picked up. When the kids are home and playing OBVIOUSLY it is not picked up, but we have them pick up before naptime and bedtime. I worry I am teaching them to be anal retentive.
.-= LauraC´s last blog ..Tennising =-.
That’s great you want to make a change. But don’t stress too much. You’re clean, creative, and happy! Besides, I think a lot of it is just who we are. My parents are both very neat. I’m not AT ALL. But in our case it’s not so much we have too much stuff, as that it just never gets put away…Good luck!
I need to do the whole purge thing too. I have way too much and I have gotten rid of things. I really just need the time to go through stuff and organize. Maybe it’s not just how much I have but how to organize. Well, maybe one day!
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Way Back When-esday =-.
oh oh oh! I love purges! they’re so cleansing. I mean crazy-making. I mean cleansing…Have you read The Happiness Project? Gretchin Rubin found purging to be a key to her happiness. I say do it. Teach ‘em it’s ok to enjoy stuff and then hand it over to some other kids to enjoy. It’s perfect. Cleanliness and charity all in one.
Good luck with the clean up! I’ve actually been drafting a similar post, but hadn’t given much thought about the teaching aspect of my mess. But we have tons of clutter too, and I realize the extent of it when we go to playdates in homes that seem spotless. In our house, there just isn’t room for to put everything in it’s own special place, which is why I now have several grocery bags full of items that are on their way to Goodwill.
.-= reanbean´s last blog ..Potty Training: At the Beginning Again =-.
My husband makes fun of this process at our house regularly..
I work a begillion hours a week and want to do all the Mom things with the kids so we craft it up, etc = the house looks like hell (often). I used to have a cleaning person and when she was coming I was forced to clean everything b/f she came because you know that just makes sense. Now we don’t and it can get cluttered in a split second which = me shoving everything in to this one room. I then get pissed about that room and systematically throw everything out!