Does anyone remember last summer? When I seriously considered an exorcist for Daniel?
Yeah. The demon has returned.
The details are a little different, of course. For instance, he no longer protests time-outs by intentionally pissing himself. So, you know, that’s a bonus. In fact, this year there is less physical resistance to the time-out, and overall a bit less yelling. What we have now is a lot of whining and crying, a lot of fighting with Becca, and a lot of attempts to negotiate in totally non-negotiable settings. A lot of climbing on, hanging from, and jumping off of very unsafe places that we have specifically and repeatedly told him not to.
Just like last year, there is a lot of last-minute changes of heart (suddenly insisting that he ALWAYS wanted oatmeal for breakfast, when I’ve already made the waffles he asked for that morning and the 800 previous mornings), and mood swings so fast they’ll give you whiplash. A lot of tears and foot-stomping over important things like who took the first bite of lunch, or what color cup he gets for his milk.
And lest you think I’m focusing too much on Daniel, I assure you that Rebecca is far from exempt this time around. She is being extra pouty and rude. She completely flips her lid if Daniel does not immediately respond to her latest demand. She has got Attitude with a Capital A.
In fact, one of the biggest additions to this year’s Wake-Me-When-It’s-Over Behavioral Phase, is the degree to which they are fighting with each other, not just with me or M. It’s not as though they’ve never fought before, and thankfully they do still play well together for quite a lot of the time. But it can turn on a dime, and a game will suddenly become Preschool Deathmatch 2011. They scream, they shove, they hit. But mostly, they push each other’s buttons. They boss each other around, they ignore the one doing the bossing. They stage sit-ins in each other’s rooms. They hoard the coveted toy/play-doh/pencil that the other suddenly wants (which, 10 seconds ago, neither could have given a crap about). It’s mental and social warfare out here.
Both kids are, literally and figuratively, bouncing off the damn walls. It’s a bit better when we get out of the house, which I try to do as much as we can. But that’s obviously trickier to balance with Ellie’s needs (and her hatred of the carseat, the stroller, and the heat and humidity) thrown into the mix. How many days until school starts again?
Whatever the specifics, it seems this is a repeat of last year’s pre-birthday insanity. Some kids flip out at the half-year mark, some are hideous around x.75. My kids seem to really lose it in the month or so leading up to their birthday. On the bright side (if there is one), last year Daniel snapped out of it right on their birthday. Literally overnight, a behavioral switch flipped, and the tail end of the summer was actually quite nice. I can only hope we see the same thing this year. Four more weeks…
I feel like we are entering the early stages of that with our 2. My son MUST walk a few steps in front of my daughter, and if she is ahead of him for even a second he melts to the ground and refused to move. Bella has suddenly decided to play the “I don’t hear you” game when I try to tell her to stop climbing the walls or jumping off the counter (and I wondered why she is so bruised up). And they will both FLIP OUT if the other even lays a finger on the others carseats. And I’m afraid this is only the beginning…. Yikes!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. It feels SO good to know that it’s not just my kids. That maybe this is a normal part of being a preschooler. Thank you.
No, Liz, just no.
I keep hearing through the grapevine that 4 and 5 are the magic ages. So, let’s go ahead and assume that’s true. If you think of it that way, it’s just 4 quick weeks until they become little angels again! Here’s to the power of positive thinking!
I think this case is normal for kids who age 4-7 years old. This is the age when they are very curious about everything and a little counseling and telling them the right and wrong, the cause and consequences of their action are really helpful. And talking to them is very beneficial in this crucial stage of their development.
Ugh…hang in there, girl!
Also – the fighting, does it end as quickly as it starts? I don’t know if it’s a twin thing or just a function of age but it is amazing how a knock-out, drag-out fight can turn to giggling so quickly. The trick for us is mom and dad staying out of it!! The second we get involved, it escalates.
Oh feel your pain, you are where I was last summer, just with twins. My son was three and potty training last last summer and we had the newborn. It was a rough time…at this age they love to test boundries my son loved loved loved to throw a tantrum that would have the neighbors thinking i was killing him. Hang in there and be sure to take a few moments here and there for yourself so you can make it out alive of this summer too!
I’m feeling for you! I had a really rough week this week, both work-wise and home-wise, so I’m ready to chill out!
If it’s any consolation, they are effing adorable. (I hear that tiny straight-jackets are on sale at Target…)
I just think it’s summer, or more specifically, the change in schedule that summer brings. For us the days are less structured or predictable and that seems to bring the crazies out big time.
I’m here Counting down the days until school – with full day Kindergarten at that!
We are also experiencing a lot of button-pushing behavior between the two of them, and we don’t have a birthday in sight. I’m really, really hoping this isn’t what all of age three is going to be like for us. At least, in the fall, there will be preschool. I can’t wait.