He asks, “Mommy, why
aren’t your mom and dad married
to each other?” Oof.
Five years, three months, and two weeks. That’s how long it took for one of my kids to ask about my parents’ divorce. Just to make it more interesting, he asked me completely out of the blue, while putting on his jacket to walk out the door, with my dad. No, that’s not awkward at all, why do you ask?
My stomach lurched. I didn’t want to blow off the question, but I really wasn’t going to get into it at that moment. I think I said something like, “you know, buddy, that is an excellent question, but it’s a little complicated. I’ll have to tell you about it later.” And out they went to miniature golf.
They’ve always known the variety of their grandparents, who lives with whom, and which two are my mom and dad. But suddenly, he realized something was amiss. How do all of these things fit together? I am sure that the responsible thing to do is to get proactive about this. He’s made the connection, it’s going to come back up. I probably shouldn’t wait for him to ask again and catch me off guard, but try to sit down and explain it as best I can.
So, how the hell do I do that? How do I explain divorce without giving my kids an anxiety attack? I mean, I know I can’t protect them from all discomfort. That dealing with discomfort and uncertainty is just one of those things you have to learn. But ugh, I’m still dreading it.
Any advice from people who have already had this conversation?