I was thinking recently about the ways in which the reality of being a full-time stay-at-home-mom is different from what I imagined it might be.  And maybe different from how working moms imagine it might be.

One of the myths that struck me this week has to do with the idea of time and flexibility.  When I was pregnant and trying desperately to get the first OB appointment of the day so I wouldn’t have to miss too much work, I thought about how easy and convenient it would be if I wasn’t working and could just take that 10:45am or 2:30pm appointment.

Ha.

Yes, it’s true. I can go places during normal working hours.  And believe me, Target during the day on a Tuesday is a whole different world from mid-day Saturday.  And that’s cool.

But.

Anywhere I go, I go with the kids.  Post office? Hardware store? Supermarket? All with two kids in tow, who may or may not feel like doing good listening that day.  That mid-morning doctor’s appointment? Boy, there’s nothing quite like bringing the stroller to the dentist’s office or, better yet, the OB/GYN’s office. And let’s not forget that, while you don’t have to have the earliest appointment so you can get to work on time, you do have to work around the kids‘ schedule. No chance in hell will I schedule anything from about noon to 3PM, and forget about it when the kids were still taking two naps…

Today, it was physical therapy for some pain in my leg (so I can get back to running!).  He could see me at 9AM. My husband has a meeting on Tuesday mornings and couldn’t go into the office late.  We have no family in the area to call and come over for half an hour. Other at-home-mom friends were busy.  So I packed an extra bag with our trusty DVD player and headphones, and hauled it all in for my appointment.

I was lucky, today was a good day. The show held their interest and they didn’t go wandering off to touch every breakable thing in sight while I was getting deep tissue work on my calf. They didn’t insist on sitting on my lap the whole time, nor did they wail and throw a tantrum about not wanting to be there. It was a short visit. Will it go as smoothly when we go back on Thursday? Maybe. Maybe not.

So, yeah, there are great and fun and flexible things about not going to an office for work every day.  But today, I thought, “at least if I was working, I’d already have childcare.”  Do I think working moms have it easy? Of course not.  But for those who are slogging away at the office and dreaming about how much easier life would be if you just stayed home with the kids all day?  Yeah, the grass ain’t much greener over here sometimes.