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Archive for discomfort

Birth Story, Part 1: Labor & Delivery

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)·   August 8th, 2007

Despite having a c-section scheduled for 36 weeks, 6 days, the babies decided to arrive a bit early. I won’t lie, after last week, I didn’t mind too much.

On Thursday, I was having some intermittent lower back pain. I knew they were likely contractions, but they were sparse and not terribly painful, so I chalked it up to one more discomfort. Around 10pm, that all changed. I was in bed, and was suddenly hit with a painful contraction that started in my back and wrapped its way around my belly like a really bad period cramp. It lasted a good minute. And then about 7 minutes later, it happened again.

I told my husband to get the stopwatch, and we started timing. They were very regular, coming about every 6 minutes. The worst part was that they seemed to be lasting about 2-3 minutes, peaking a couple of times. It was quickly becoming not at all fun. To add insult to injury, for whatever reason, I found I needed to pee really badly about every other contraction. So not only was I in quite a lot of pain from the contractions, but then I had to deal with the additional pain of rolling out of bed and hobbling to the bathroom.

Anyways, after three hours of timing the contractions, we decided they were not going away and made the call to the OB. At 2AM, we arrived at the hospital.

Because they knew I’d be a c-section if I delivered, they apparently decided I didn’t deserve one of the rooms with the nice beds. No, they basically put me on a stretcher. There’s nothing quite so lovely as having (what I presume to have been) back labor while on a flat, hard, not-adjustable stretcher. Once hooked up to the monitors, my contractions slowed for a while, so they were not entirely convinced I was really in labor. Great. But they checked my cervix, and I was indeed dilated to 3cm. So they hooked me up to an IV (which took three tries, of course) and gave me fluids. The contractions came back, but weren’t really registering on the monitor. They started saying how they wouldn’t just deliver a 36-weeker because I was “uncomfortable,” and it was all I could do not to cry. But they did pick up again, and upon another check, I had progressed to 4-5cm. Delivery would, indeed, be today.

The nurses prepped me, the neonatologist and anesthesiologist talked to me about what to expect, and my husband was given his set of papery blue scrubs. Around 5:30AM, I was wheeled down to the operating room. Somehow, I didn’t really feel all that nervous. For once in my life, I was kind of just living in the moment, not really thinking much about what would come next. Maybe the pain was distracting me from my usual distractions, I don’t know. Excited as I was, I didn’t freak out.

Getting the spinal was a little strange. The shot of lidocaine to numb my back hurt more than the “actual” spinal. As soon as he gave me the anesthesia, I was to lie down as quickly as possible. Suddenly my lower body started to tingle. The strange part was that I was still quite aware of people touching and prepping my belly, but no pain. Husband came in a minute or two later, and things were underway. There was plenty of tugging and pressure, as they tell you, and I did feel a little bit of pain very low in my pelvic bone. But the anesthesiologist didn’t want to give me any more meds until the babies were out, so they wouldn’t get any of it, so I just stuck it out. It wasn’t bad.

The next thing I knew, I heard them say “head is out,” and then “I need a time of birth for Baby A!” The anesthesiologist responded, “6:03.” A gurgly, underwater-sounding cry came from somewhere on the other side of the sheet at my chest. Very shortly thereafter, another gurgly cry and a “time of birth for Baby B, please.”
“6:03″
“No, that was baby A. I need a time for baby B.”
“Still 6:03.”
That’s how fast Rebecca came out after her brother.

Immediately after they were out, the anesthesiologist gave me an extra dose of “happy juice,” and according to my husband, I started snoring. I think I was only out for a few minutes, and when I woke back up, he was able to give me reports on condition and weights. Daniel was 6lb 2oz, and Rebecca was 4lb8oz. Daniel was working a little bit hard to breathe, so they took him off to the special care nursery. Rebecca was breathing better, so she got a little cuddle time with her dad, and was wheeled back with me on the stretcher to the recovery room.

C-section was fast and relatively painless, and before I knew it, we were back in the room I had so hated a few hours earlier. I sleepily looked to the other side of the room and saw my husband in a chair, gazing adoringly at our new daughter. Not such a bad room, after all.

More later on the days that followed. For now, some pictures.

Skinny Ms. Rebecca was first to get on the scale.

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Daniel looks downright pudgy by comparison.

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Happy daddy in the operating room.

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Comments (4)
Categories : Hospital, Newborns, Pregnancy
Tags : c-section, contractions, discomfort, preterm labor

Short-sighted

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (6)·   August 2nd, 2007

Nature is a funny thing. As my good friend, the Beppy, has said… “the tail end of pregnancy has to suck, because otherwise, what’s your motivation for labor?” And though I won’t exactly be going through labor like many people, I find the only thing I can think about right now is this pregnancy being over.

Yes, “over” will involve major abdominal surgery, which will present its own challenges. But I just can’t bring myself to care. I’m not feeling nervous about the surgery, and I’m completely in denial about the reality of having to care for two infants. I just don’t want to be pregnant anymore.

I’ve prepared for “after” as best I can. Cribs and pack n plays and diapers and everything are all set up and ready. I’ve done plenty of reading, taken my breastfeeding class, and all of the parental units are on call. I’m as “ready” as a person can be, which probably isn’t all that ready. But that’s not what I’m focused on at the moment.

Plenty of people, my stepmom and mother-in-law in particular, are presumably trying to cheer me up when they start waxing poetic about the “magic” I’ll feel when the babies are born. How holding them will erase it all, blah blah, weepy weepy. And that’s fine. And that may very well be the case. But you know what? Right now, I don’t care. Being told that I’ll forget my discomforts, or at least that they will cease to matter, is no comfort to me right now. In fact, it’s so annoying that it’s hard for me to not hang up the phone as soon as someone starts down that road. I’m sure it’ll be great, and I’m really excited to meet these two. But hearing my various moms and aunts get all weepy about the magic, complete with superior amusement about just how little I know, drives me up a friggin wall.

So as much as I’m looking forward to seeing and holding these babies on the outside, I pretty much have tunnel vision right now, thinking only of this part being OVER.

Oh, and no matter how many ultrasounds I have, no matter how many different heartbeats I hear on monitor, no matter the two cribs in the nursery… I’m still somehow kind of in denial that I’m really having twins. I keep expecting someone to call me out on this lie I must be living. It’s unreal. Not for long, though!

Comments (6)
Categories : Pregnancy
Tags : c-section, discomfort

Hospital day, 35w5d

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (2)·   August 1st, 2007

Still cooking, alas.

Today was plenty of good news for babies, which is of course a mixed blessing for me. I half hoped there would be some indication for delivery, since I’m so tired and uncomfortable, but it’s just not in the cards.

Babies looked great on the ultrasound. Crowded, of course, and I was quite correct that baby boy A is way low against my cervix now. But fluid levels were good, breathing movements and all of that were good. And, though it’s always possible the estimates are off, they seem to be growing quite well. Baby boy is estimated to be about 6lb7oz, and baby girl is all the way up at 5lb7oz. 12 pounds of baby in my belly… no wonder everything hurts.

Non-stress test was fine. As always, little girl decided it was a great time for a nap and we had to get out the buzzer, but after that she woke right up. My blood pressure was high, but not as bad as Monday (which was apparently as high as 150/100 at one point!), so my doctor (who was at the hospital, anyways) sent me home.

So, here I sit! Still really uncomfortable, but the contractions have gone away for the moment. Hopefully I’ll get in a good nap this afternoon, since I was not able to sleep well last night at all. If everything stays the same, I’m off to the OB on Friday for my pre-op appointment… Who knows, maybe I’ll make it to next Thursday, after all!

Comments (2)
Categories : Hospital, Pregnancy, Ultrasounds
Tags : blood pressure, discomfort, discordant growth, NST/BPP

Funny feeling

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   July 30th, 2007

It would be a lie of omission if I neglected to say that I have a funny feeling today. Of course, I almost feel foolish saying it out loud, because that makes it almost certain nothing will happen. But it is what it is.

By about halfway through last night, I was even more uncomfortable than usual. Hips really hurting, more lower back pain than usual, and even a sharp cramp or two. Once I finally got up, I’ve had the distinct feeling that one of the babies has dropped. Not that I can necessarily breathe a whole lot easier, but more for the serious pressure I’m feeling in my lower back, bum, and general pelvic area. Walking wasn’t easy before, but now it’s a pretty serious slow waddle. I don’t think I’m feeling any more contractions than usual, and unless it’s a very slow leak, I don’t think my membranes have ruptured.

Anyways, now that I’ve written it down, I’m sure it will be absolutely nothing and I’ll feel a little silly going another 10 days before babies. But nonetheless, I’m making sure the last few items are packed in my hospital bag. I’m interested to see what today’s BPP/NST brings…

Comments (1)
Categories : Pregnancy
Tags : discomfort

T-minus 17 days and counting

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   July 23rd, 2007

I have a date for my c-section.

Certainly, as previously discussed, things could change between now and then, and earlier could become better. But if everything continues to march along nicely, then these babies will be born on Thursday, August 9th.

How crazy is that??

I will continue to have my twice-weekly BPP/NST combo, plus my weekly OB checkup, and the next ultrasound growth check remains August 1. Assuming all is well, I will have a pre-op appointment with my OB on August 3, which I understand to be more of a discussion on what to expect with the surgery. On August 8, I will have pre-op testing at the hospital. And on August 9, I am expected to report to Labor & Delivery at 8:30am, for a scheduled surgery at 10:30. I will be 36 weeks, 6 days.

I can still hardly believe I have just over two weeks remaining. This has all gone so fast! I’m beyond excited. I’m excited to meet these two, though certainly anxious to make sure they’re both OK. And honestly, I just plain can’t wait to get my body back. Everything hurts, everything is uncomfortable. I apologized in advance to my husband, because I think I’m going to burst into tears every night between now and then, out of the sheer frustration and discomfort of late-stage pregnancy. But the end is very much in sight. Hallelujah.

Oh crap. I have a lot to do!!

Comments (1)
Categories : Hospital, Pregnancy
Tags : c-section, discomfort

Uncle

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (2)·   July 17th, 2007

I surrender. And I’m OK with it.

Not even two weeks ago, I was certain I’d make it to my original goal of working to 35 weeks. Sure, 35 was a somewhat arbitrary deadline, but it was the one I’d made. And it was so very close. It really felt like a done deal.

But after this weekend’s minor scare, and my seemingly exponential daily increase in discomfort, I’ve decided to bump it up. For one thing, I’m sleeping so poorly at night that I’m downright exhausted when it comes to getting up in the morning. I noticed quite an improvement without having to wake up to the alarm this weekend, so it was a bit jarring to have to wake up at 7am yesterday. Between the weekend and Monday morning, I was starting to really wonder if I’d make it to the 27th. My boss walked in and looked into my office and said “every Monday, I see you and I can’t believe you’re still here!” Suddenly, I sort of felt the same way. And then I looked at our office calendar for the month, and realized that both my boss and another of my favorite coworkers will be on vacation next week. I added it all up, and decided staying an extra week would buy me nothing, and would be a pretty anticlimactic way to end. And so, instead of 35 weeks, I’m going to stop working this Friday, at 34 weeks. I feel good about it, too. I don’t feel like I “fell short.” I know that I should be proud of making it this far in the first place, and I am.

I’m relieved, excited, sad, and nervous, all at once. I’m quite looking forward to not having to wake up at a particular time, and being able to have my poor, fat feet elevated for much of the day. And I’m excited yet in disbelief that I’m in such a final phase of the countdown. I’m also nervous, both for the next couple of weeks as well as what comes afterwards. I’m worried about the potential boredom of being at home by myself, with very limited ability to go out and do things on my own. That doesn’t tend to go well with me. And certainly I’m concerned about the delivery, wanting the babies to be alright, and then everything that comes after.

It’s also very bittersweet to be leaving my job. When I saw the description posted on the college website more than two and a half years ago, I nearly fell out of my chair. It was as though someone had taken my resume and used it to write the position description. Combination academic advising and admissions (without the travel), master’s degree in counseling desired, string players preferred. I was working at another college literally two doors down at the time. I walked my resume over to HR the next afternoon, had an interview a few days later, and within a week of seeing it posted, I was hired. Like any job, it has had its quirks and pitfalls, but I have really loved it. I love the people I work with, I love the environment, I love my mish-mosh of the two jobs I really wanted, all wrapped up in one.

And on Friday, I’ll walk out the door. My sixteen weeks of maternity leave (thank you, Massachusetts) take me almost to Thanksgiving, but I doubt I’ll be returning at that point. Financially, it just doesn’t make any sense. I’d pay more for childcare than I’d actually take home from working. And much as I love my job, I’m not sure I love it enough to not be there with my kids, at least for the first year or so. I’m nervous about being a stay-at-home mom, but I’ve got a few things in place to try to make it manageable. I’ll really miss my coworkers, and I’ll even miss just coming to work sometimes. But off I go, on my new adventure.

I just hope I don’t go into labor before Friday. I think I can make it another three days…

Comments (2)
Categories : Pregnancy, SAHM, Uncomfortable, Working
Tags : discomfort, maternity leave, pregnancy symptoms

Hot fun in the summertime

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (0)·   July 7th, 2007

I always feared having a summer due date. Especially the end of summer. When we talked about getting pregnant, I thought I’d want to avoid having my 3rd trimester in height of the summer, no matter what.

As we know, we make plans and God laughs. So, here I am. July. 32 weeks pregnant with twins. My “due date” (such that it is) is August 31st. Riiight.

It’s not that I dislike summer. I mean really, who could hate summer? It’s sunny, warm, cheery, relaxed, and filled with grilled meat and popsicles. These are all good things. But in all honesty, I just don’t deal well with the heat. Never have. For one thing, I sweat. Can’t help it. Deodorant can only go so far. And a characteristic inherited from my mom’s whole family is the sweaty upper lip. As soon as it gets warm, we’re all a little damp under the nose. What can you do? In short, as nice as the warmth is, I get pretty uncomfortable in heat over the mid-80s. My dad loves the 110-degree days in Palm Springs, but not me. So, naturally, I thought the prospect of having all of this extra weight and discomfort during the hottest time of year sounded like a death sentence.

And frankly, the three 90+ degree days we’ve had here in Massachusetts have been particularly rough. I leave the air-conditioned splendor of my office, and within 45 minutes of arriving home, I have completely wilted. Any remaining drop of energy has been sucked right out of me. I climb up to our room (where our a/c unit resides, thankfully) and call it an early bedtime. We’ve got two more of those days coming tomorrow and Monday, and I’m not looking forward to it.

That said, I have discovered that there are, indeed, several positive things about being super-pregnant in the middle of the summer. As I’m trying to look on the bright side, here they are:

  1. Work schedule – This has worked out more perfectly than I could have predicted. Since I work in higher education, you’d think it would be ideal to have a due date around graduation and just be gone the whole summer (which is what would have happened if my last pregnancy had worked out). There are a few problems with that logic, though. For one, since I’m not really planning on going back to work, this would have put my coworkers in the very difficult position of suddenly scrambling to hire someone at the busiest time of year. The fact that I’m guaranteed to be out for the majority of the fall semester just makes planning that much easier. PLUS, since work is extremely quiet in the summer, it’s a good time of year to have limited productivity. As I’m finding myself easily distracted and frequently tired, it’s good that I don’t have too many important things going on (like, say, graduation).
  2. Maternity Clothes – This ties into my job, to an extent, since I work in a very casual environment. But it’s pretty nice to be able to spend most days in shorts or a skirt and some variety of t-shirt. I can also get away with frequent wearings, since summer is inherently more casual. I don’t need a bunch of dress pants, button down shirts, or sweaters. Not to mention an actual warm jacket. No, by the time I started to outgrow my fleece jacket, the temperatures were cooperating as well. I love that the maternity clothes I need are light, easy, and pretty darn inexpensive. Oh, and I wear flip-flops every day. Which is good, since they’re the only shoes that fit.
  3. Food – Normally, I love too cook almost every night. As you might imagine, however, that has fallen off dramatically as the pregnancy progresses. I just don’t have the energy, after I get home, to do all of that chopping and prepping and maintenance. And while that’s really too bad in some ways, it’s at least easier to get away with in the summer. We do get takeout a bit too frequently, but because it’s nice out, we manage to just throw things on the grill more nights than not. This is good on all fronts. Certainly, food prep is pretty easy. Maybe make some hamburger patties or a quick marinade, but mostly you take the piece of meat and put it over the fire. This also helps by creating minimal cleanup after the fact, which is always a plus, as well as keeps the kitchen relatively cool since we aren’t turning on the oven as often. Yep, most nights at our house involve hamburgers, chicken thighs, or bratwurst. And maybe some nice, fresh corn. Not too shabby. Also nice that there are plenty of tasty fruits in season.
  4. Ice cream – Yes, it gets it’s own listing, separate from just plain food. I’m a big ice cream fan, all year round. But when summer nears, I bust out my Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker at least once a week. Why? One word: strawberries. There is nothing quite so divine as homemade fresh strawberry ice cream. Strawberries, lemon juice, sugar, milk, and cream. That’s it. YUM. I’ve also branched out and made peach, chocolate (which was tricky, but I’ve got it down), and my new favorite: chocolate banana. Fresh ice cream is the best. Easy to make, ridiculously tasty… and calcium! I swear, I’m supposed to have more calcium!

So yes, the heat drains what little energy I have remaining, and helps my feet reach new and terrifying dimensions. But I’m learning it’s not all bad. There are definite perks to being pregnant in the summer.

Comments (0)
Categories : Cooking, Pregnancy, Working
Tags : discomfort, heat, ice cream, maternity clothes, summer

Sleep is a Battlefield

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)·   June 8th, 2007

Well, alright, I suppose Pat Benetar actually said that Love is a battlefield but for me, it’s sleep.

This is probably no surprise to any pregnant woman in the waning weeks of her term, and especially moms of multiples in their 3rd trimester. Every night, as I start to get sleepy, I actually dread going up to bed. This is most definitely a new phenomenon. We have a very comfortable bed, with plenty of pillows and a down comforter. I usually love curling up and getting cozy on a nice, cool night. If the windows are open, even better. But no more. I know the fight that is coming.

To start off, the end of the evening is generally my most uncomfortable time of day. I have to spend much of the night lying down, due to swelling feet, Braxton Hicks contractions, and other random aches and pains. I’ve probably already had 3 quarts of water, but this doesn’t completely stop the swelling. Sciatica often makes an appearance, with the pain running from my hip all the way down the side of my leg to my ankle. And if that doesn’t happen. you can be sure I’ll meet up with my old friend, Restless Legs Syndrome. For me, it feels sort of like someone is tickling the back of my knee and WON’T STOP! With either RLS or sciatica, no amount of stretching or position changing seems to make it any better. I just have to wait it out.

And with all of this discomfort, I finally decide it’s time to go up to bed. I haul my (increasingly large) behind up the stairs, brush my teeth, pee for the 25th time that day, and head into the bedroom to start the arrangements. I never did get a pregnancy pillow, so I carefully set up a minimum of four pillows in strategic positions. Two for my head, one between my knees, and one in front to both “hug” and to support my aching belly. Sometimes I add another pillow behind me, to help avoid rolling flat onto my back: a position now certain to cut off circulation within five minutes. Once the pillows are set up, I carefully huff and puff my way onto my side. I can only hope I’m so tired that I fall asleep immediately, because if I don’t (and I usually don’t), it only takes a few minutes for my back and hips to start aching, so sick they are of being on my side.

Once I do fall asleep, it generally doesn’t last long. By about 3AM, I’ve likely woken up at least four times to roll over (a feat in itself) or make yet another trip to the bathroom. By 4AM, I’m often wide awake. Sometimes it’s due to a strange or disturbing dream, sometimes I’m just caught up in a thought, and sometimes I’m just so sore from sleeping on my side that I have to shift nearly all my pillows up against the headboard and hope for another fitful hour or so of sleep while sitting up. But even that seldom lasts long, as I have to be almost completely upright to avoid having the weight of the babies cut off my circulation and make feel dizzy. Sleepy as I am, I’m almost grateful when it’s time to get up and go to work, so I can end another night of battling my body.

I know that, in some ways, this is just a teeny preview of the sleep disturbances that lie ahead. But at least then I’ll be able to lie on my back…

Comments (1)
Categories : Pregnancy, Sleep
Tags : discomfort, pregnancy symptoms

And so it begins…

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (0)·   May 27th, 2007

I came to a somewhat startling realization yesterday. I have less than a week remaining in my second trimester. As my third trimester rapidly approaches, I’ve noticed a definite increase in discomfort. While I realize I’ve still had a reasonably easy go of it compared to plenty of people, I’m only in my own body, so I can only relate so much.

My belly is getting rather large, the funny side of which being that I find myself running into things before I think I will. Especially counters. It’s gratifying to really feel like I “look pregnant, not just fat,” and I may even take a belly shot one of these days. We’ll see…

The downside to the large belly is primarily sleep. Or, rather, lack thereof. It’s getting harder and harder to get comfortable. I sleep with 4-5 pillows at all times, and my poor husband has more or less relegated himself to the guest room so as not to wake me up any extra times. Sleeping exclusively on my side is annoying, and I wake up frequently to switch sides (which is quite an endeavor) or go to the bathroom. But I’m definitely to the point that, if I lie on my back for more than a minute or two, the weight of the babies cuts of circulation. It’s not pleasant. So, sleep is becoming increasingly erratic, and I certainly don’t anticipate it will get any better as I get larger.

The belly is also feeling downright heavy, especially as the day wears on. Even though I don’t do much other than sit at my desk and walk 30 feet to the bathroom, it starts to feel heavier by the afternoon. And despite my lotioning, it gets a bit itchy by the evening. I’m not even going to talk about the stretch marks…

The babies are moving around a lot, which is really great and reassuring. Assuming they’re both on the same sides as they were (we’ll see this afternoon), I find that they frequently alternate who is more active at any one time. And despite any worries about her size, my little girl is small but quite fiesty! Lots of jabs to the ribs and other places. While it’s immensely reassuring to feel them both each day, I will admit it’s getting kind of uncomfortable. It really feels like my insides are constantly flipping around. But hey, I’ll take that over nothing any day of the week.

Other than that, the reflux is hanging around but hasn’t dramatically worsened. Feet get tired quickly, heart palpitations come around if I haven’t had enough water, and I don’t think my back is quite going to fully recover from Tuesday’s spasm.

And, just for a little extra fun, it’s getting good and warm here in New England. Friday was over 90 degrees. I was good and chugged my 3+ quarts of water, and therefore managed to still have discernable ankles by the end of the day. But it’s definitely a little preview of what is to come this summer. I’ve always been someone who gets pretty uncomfortable in the heat, but the added belly and its side effects are going to make this extra fun.

Do forgive the whining. All things considered, I’m doing well. No contractions or cervix shortening, no increase in blood pressure. I did fail the 1-hour glucose test last week, so on Tuesday I get to take the three-hour. Other than that, though, things really are going well. I just couldn’t help but notice the changes in the last week or so, and the realization that things may go rapidly downhill from here. Hey, I’ve only got a max of about 10-12 weeks left! I can make it through that…

Comments (0)
Categories : Pregnancy, Sleep
Tags : discomfort, growing belly, heartburn, pregnancy symptoms
   

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