Archive for exercise – Page 2

8 months on, 5 months off

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (52)·   January 13th, 2010

Well, OK, two years and five months, but whatever. As of this morning, I am back to the weight I was when I got pregnant. Three years ago.

This goal is only sort of a mid-point to me.  A good goal. An important one.  One that I’m proud to have achieved. But far, far from the end.

Five months ago, I weighed 226 pounds. Two hundred twenty six. There, I said it. It’s out there. You know. I can hardly describe how ashamed I am of that number, not to mention how long I sat there.  And how long I looked like this:

august 17

August 17, 2009. That’s me. HUGE. Horrified.  But however long it took, a switch flipped. Time for a long overdue change.

Weight Watchers, EA Sports Active, Jillian Michaels, my gym’s childcare room, the Shredheads, Twitter, and Couch to 5K. Five months. Twenty-six pounds.  And now I am here:

january 13

The thing is, I still weigh 200 pounds.  I am still, by all objective measures, fat. Obese, even. I’m way, way heavier than I ought to be. I am not proud of my weight. My body is distributed completely differently than it was the last time I was at this weight. So much more belly, now. And the loss of volume is revealing some rather alarming “twin skin.” I am not happy with where I am right now.

But.

While I’m not setting any speed records on weight loss, but it has been steady. In the 20+ weeks I’ve been counting, I have lost something all but about three weeks.  I am proud of that.  This weekend, I finally was able to buy some new jeans. It took more than 20 pounds, but I went down a pants size. I am proud of that. I am stronger, happier, more in control. I have not purchased a pint of ice cream since August. My kids see me put on my sneakers and say “you have on your exercising shoes!” I am proud of that.

I am proud of this:

goal 1

And this is why you take a “before” picture. I hate mine.  It makes me want to cry.  But you know what? If I didn’t have it as a comparison, then today’s picture would also make me cry.  Putting them together lets me see progress, however gradual, however slow.

Onward.

I’ve already written about my current exercise/fitness goal, but I also need a new weight-specific goal.  So here it is: I want to have a BMI that is simply “overweight” instead of “obese.”  That’s 21 more pounds.  For a rough timeframe, I think I should be able to do it by June.

Bring it.

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Don’t call it a resolution

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (20)·   January 2nd, 2010

It was over four months ago that I began my most recent battle of the bulge. First, it was a wager among friends as to who could lose the most weight in a month.  I won (though I have yet to cash in my prize – dinner on them).  Then, a slightly larger competition amongst other blogging types, Biggest Loser rules (% of weight lost in 6 weeks). I came in second.

And then, in October, I became a Shredhead.  In addition to the ass-kicking provided by Jillian, I found a great support system via Twitter, and that has really helped carry me and push me throughout the fall.  Exercise became a routine. Weekly weight loss became the norm.  If it weren’t for that pesky 2 weeks in Chicago, I might have even made my weight loss goal (I’m close, just a few weeks later than I hoped).

I’ve started to get into a rut, though. A little bored with my exercise routine.  A lot of Shredheads, I noticed, took up running.  Oy, running. I have always hated it. I have always sucked at it. I’ve even tried the Couch-to-5K (C25K) program once or twice, and failed miserably. I’m not sure I made it to the second week.

But that Jillian, she gets into your head.  While still overweight, I’m getting a lot more fit. I started to think about running again. A 5K is 3.1 miles.  I can do that. I can do that.  So I decided to shake it up and do the C25K again. Treadmill, this time, to control my pace. Not that I planned on becoming a runner, but more as a straight physical accomplishment.  Something I should be able to do. Something I will do.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I do better if I have a goal in mind. A fixed point towards which to move.  Clearly, I need a race. One in the vicinity of the end of this training program.  Except, well, how many 5Ks are there in Massachusetts in March?  Seriously, it could be 75 or it could be a blizzard, there’s just no telling.

Enter the Shredheads, several of whom are running the Disney Princess Half Marathon in March.  In Orlando.  Oh… would you look at that… there’s also a 5K as a part of those festivities!  Florida in March is nice, not cold but not too warm….  And would you believe it, kids under 3 don’t need a ticket to get into the parks…?

Last night, I signed up.

I don’t yet know how exactly we’re getting there, where we’ll stay, or any of those other pesky details.

But I signed up for a 5K. In Disney World.  On March 6. Nine weeks from today.

I’m on week 4 of C25K, and that five whole minutes of running is kicking my ass.  Did I mention that there was ONE time, in high school, that I ran a whole mile?  ONE TIME. EVER.

I have lost my mind.  But, hey, I’ve also lost nearly all of my baby weight.  Might be an acceptable trade off.

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Of habits, old and new

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (5)·   December 22nd, 2009

Staying at your parents’ house as an adult is a weird thing, isn’t it? Some things you see with fresh eyes, and other times you revert back to an awkward preteen.  I’ve noticed some habits working both for and against me this week.

On the positive side, it would seem that 4+ months of regular exercise is actually becoming an ingrained habit.  Oh sure, part of it is that I’m only about three pounds away from my first weight-related goal, and I don’t want to get completely sidetracked while I’m here.  But really, when have I ever brought an exercise DVD with me to (either of) my parents’ house(s)?  When have I ever used the treadmill they have in their basements?  That would be a big, fat never.

And yet, here I am.  I have done the Shred. I have progressed to Week 3 of the Couch-to-5K program (yes, I’m trying to run… more on that later).  I have exercised more days than not.  And I’m glad.

I’m particularly glad, because the flipside is that old eating habits die really hard.  I’ve been reasonably good with my eating these last few months (hence the 3-pounds-from-first-goal thing). But much of my success has come from controlling what foods I have access to. I haven’t purchased a pint of ice cream since the summer. I have baked shockingly few cookies (by my standards). I don’t keep crap in the house, so I can’t eat it.  I have a pretty limited menu, but it works for me.

And then I get here. Without even thinking, I walk into my dad’s kitchen and open the doors to the pantry to peruse the junk food. Cookies. Chips. All variety of things that I don’t ever buy, but find almost impossible to resist when they’re right there in my face. No control over what is served at big family dinners. Dad buys a dozen bagels (from my favorite bagel shop) for breakfast.  Ugh.

I’ve tried to keep some of my go-to items on hand, and have tried to stick to my 8PM rule.  But, clearly, four well-behaved months have not cured me of 30 years of bad eating habits.

But still, I will try to keep fighting the good fight, and not beat myself up too much for what happens here, away from home.  Just a few more days, and I’ll be back in my own space.  In the meantime, pass the cookies…

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Eleven

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (22)·   October 6th, 2009

In the last 7 weeks, I have lost 11 pounds.

Pants that were downright painful to wear are now reasonably comfortable. I bought two pair of size 18 jeans from Old Navy and have to return them because they’re too big.  My rings (the ones I paid way too much to resize almost a year and a half ago) are loose.

I am not eating ice cream or cookies. (Except my nightly 100-calorie Klondike bar.)  I am drinking a ton of water, at least one glass of milk per day, and very little Diet Coke.  I am in some food ruts, but at least I know they’re my go-to points-friendly items.  I still need to work on getting more fruits & veggies.

I have a routine that gets me real, hard exercise five times per week: two days at the gym and three days of Shred at home.  Wednesday and Saturday are my days off.  I won’t say the Shred is getting easier, but I no longer feel like I’m going to die, and am getting closer to being able to do all of the reps.  And I am in love with my time at the gym, even if they had to come get me to change Daniel’s diaper today (after which, he went right back to playing and I got to finish my workout).

I feel a little better. I feel a little stronger.  Somewhere, under all of that fat and twin skin, I think I may actually have an abdominal muscle or two.  Still weak, but it’s there.

I’m happy about this. I’m proud of it.  But I am not throwing myself a party today.  There’s too much yet to do.

If I keep up my 1.5 pounds/week average, I can just squeeze out my goal of hitting my pre-pregnancy weight before the end of the year. 15 more pounds to go.  But even then, there’s still a long, long road ahead.

There’s a part of me that has to get a little bit mad in order to make this all work. I’m glad that it’s working, but I have to be a little ticked off to work even harder.  I also know that, for as decent as my motivation is right now, the time will come when it is going to wear off. I’m going to get lazy, sidetracked, off my game. There will be setbacks.  So I feel like I have to make the most of what I’ve got at the moment.

I’ve been pretty good about sticking to my “no eating after 8PM” rule, and good when I’m out and there’s food available (like last night, at a twin club meeting, someone bought a whole bunch of cookies for the table and I didn’t touch a single one).  It was a little easier in that I was talking to a few of my friends about weight loss and exercise, and said out loud to them “I am not eating any of those cookies! Please smack the hell out of my hand if you see me reaching.”  And because I said it out loud, I actually didn’t feel even the least bit tempted.

But do you know how the ass-kicker (Jillian?) inside my head responds to these situations?  Do you know what phrase always runs through my head at times like this?

“I am not fucking around here.”

There’s too much work to be done.  I am not fucking around here.

I told you I had to get mad.

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A Goal and a Plan

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (6)·   October 1st, 2009

First of all, might I mention that I have a guest post up at Loser Moms? It’s about my first attempt at the 30-Day Shred DVD, and how it almost killed me.

My efforts at weight loss and getting in shape are going well, even if I sometimes wish it would go faster.  But I have set myself some medium- and long-term goals that I think will be a challenge but are realistically doable.  The first goal is to lose my remaining 16 pounds of post-pregnancy weight by Christmas.  It’s a mental milestone for me, as it was just after Christmas, three years ago, that I learned I was pregnant (and, thus, when the “baby weight” ticker started going up).  It’s not a given that I’ll achieve it, but it can be done.  For extra motivation, I know my dad wants to hire a photographer for a new above-the-mantel family portrait while we’re all in Chicago for the holidays. I don’t want to be embarrassed every time I see that picture for the next 5+ years.

My long-term goal for weight loss is to get to my wedding weight. Before you scoff, I assure you that I was not a skinny little thing that day. I was still technically overweight, and I was wearing a size 12 (I think I had one or two pairs of pants in a 10, which I was very psyched about).  Anyways, that number is 35 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight.  So 2010 is all about that 35 pounds.

As for sticking with the program, I am finding the mob mentality group support and competition to be a helpful external motivator.  I believe I was the winner for our 30-day mini-Biggest-Loser challenge among friends, and the Loser Moms competition still has two more weeks remaining (no idea how I compare to other participants, but it helps motivate me to think that I have a shot at winning…).  And as I was thinking about jumping on the Shredhead bandwagon, anyways, I was eager to join their October challenge.   The framework is broad, just do the Shred regularly, try to eat well, and see results!  So, here’s my plan:

For food, I am continuing on Weight Watchers. The points have never done me wrong, so I’m sticking with what works for me.  I will also continue my “no eating after 8PM” rule.  Just having that self-created rule in the back of my head really helps to curb the all-night grazing that I am otherwise tempted to do.

For exercise, the main thrust of the October Shredheads Challenge, my plan is this:

  • Tuesday & Thursday is gym day (Day 2 was at least as awesome as Day 1… it’s a whole new world opened up to me!). I’ll do at least 30 minutes of cardio, some core exercises, and possibly some weights.
  • I will do the Shred DVD three times per week: two weekdays and one weekend day.  And who knows, maybe by the end of the month, I’ll actually be able to complete the entire 20-minute workout (OMFG it’s haaarrrrdddd!). Oy.

That adds up to five days of exercise per week, which is darn good if you ask me.  I used to exercise like that, way back before I got married and moved away from the greatest gym ever. It’s really, really nice to be active and doing something for myself.

So, what about you?  Are you going to join the challenge?  Do you have your own fitness goals going on right now?

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And, sometimes, they surprise you

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (7)·   September 29th, 2009

Sitting on my to-do list for the last couple of weeks was to finally take the kids to the childcare room at my gym. M and I have belonged to this gym almost since we moved into our house (*cough* four years ago *cough*), as a couple/family membership, and it includes use of the childcare room. I went regularly for a while before I got pregnant, did some personal training, etc.  Then miscarriage fears and a higher-risk pregnancy got me out of the habit and… well… a few years passed.

Anyways, I decided that today was the day. I told the kids we were going to the gym and there was a big room with toys and kids where they could play while I exercised.  I barely had them signed in when they took off exploring.  A castle over here, a big play kitchen over there.  A lego table, a play-doh table, a craft table.  Door open to the fenced-in outdoor play space since the weather was cooperating.  I could barely get their attention long enough to tell them I was going to go exercise.  Told one of the caregivers it was their first time, just in case, and off I went.

I decided to make it a short stint for our first time.  20 minutes on the elliptical.  I was anxious most of the time (though it helped that many of the cardio machines had TVs and I could just watch an episode of Cash Cab), and kept looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone in a red shirt to come looking for me with an annoyed and/or apologetic look on their face.  No one came.

I cooled off for a minute and went back to the childcare room.  Daniel was at the Lego table, Rebecca outside on a rocking toy, content as could be.  I got their attention, and they seemed happy to see me.  I asked if they were ready to go home. “No.”  Did they want to stay here and play some more? “Yes.”  Should Mommy go do some more exercising? “Yes!”  And off they went.

Seriously.  My kids essentially sent me away so that they could play some more.  So, away I went and did another 20 minutes on the elliptical and some stretching.

When it was finally time to go home, Daniel shed his first tears because he didn’t want to leave.  He was maybe a touch on the frayed/defiant side after we got home, but hard to pinpoint whether that had anything to do with our gym experience, since it was on the spectrum of his normal behavior.

I was hugely, pleasantly, awesomely surprised by how well they did.  I know there will be days when things don’t go as smoothly, and my turn will come when the red-shirted lady comes to tap me on the shoulder. But in the meantime, say hello to our new Tuesday/Thursday activity!

I feel like this is yet another door opened in our world.  While I could have dropped them off there at 6 months (they have a little gated-off area for the littlest ones with someone tending to them full-time), I don’t think I could have done it at 18 months when they were at a peak of clinginess.  But two? Perfect.

It also is a great way to feel like I’m getting a great benefit for myself (alone time, exercise), while not “taking anything away” from the kids.  They’re in a fun environment, lots of things to play with, other kids, and some time away from me, all of which I think are positive things.  So, there you go.  For an hour or so, we all get something good.

And I may have stashed some fruit snacks in my bag as a reward for spectacular behavior.

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30 Day Challenge in Review

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (8)·   September 15th, 2009

So, today is Day 30 of my challenge with Nancy and our friend Amy, as well as Day 30 of my first go around of the EA Sports 30 Day Challenge.  All in all, a good month!

For the personal stats, I’m down 5.5 pounds. Not too shabby. Probably enough to win our three-person challenge. And, you know, better down than up.  But I can’t lie, I wish it was more. I wish it would be easier, or at least faster. I know that slow and steady is the way to go and all of that, but 5 measly pounds seems like such a drop in the bucket when I’ve got soo much more to go.  But, alas, it’s a start.  My approach this month was to count my Weight Watchers points as best as I could, and complete the 30-Day Challenge on the EA Sports Active game for the Wii.

The EA Sports 30-Day Challenge was definitely worth doing. I managed 19 of the intended 20 workouts (I’ll do #20 tomorrow, on day 31), and they really are workouts. Real squats, real effort, real sweat.  And I have to say that I noticed a difference from the first day to the last.  Now that the 30 days is up, the workouts feel easier and I’d definitely be ready to move up to the medium level (I did this month on “easy”).  Jump lunges still suck in a major way, but most of the other exercises feel easier than they did a month ago.

Nothing’s perfect, and there were times that the game seemed to not quite pick up on what I was doing.  It took a while for me to figure out the right way to do the fast kick-ups and have them recognized in-game, and as Nancy pointed out, it means that you look like Phoebe Bouffet going for a run.  Sometimes the tempo is a little weird.  But overall, I love that the workouts are programmed so you don’t have to choose individual exercises, and the interface is pretty darn nice.  I’m a little done with it for the moment, but I could definitely see going back to it after trying something else for a little while.

So, anyways, month 1 is up, but the Biggest Loser challenge on Loser Moms is still going strong.  The competition and desire to win actual money help keep up the motivation, I cannot lie.  Going to try to be good over the weekend while we spend time with M’s family for Rosh Hashanah, and I think that I’m going to start taking my licks from Jillian when I get back. I hear it’s rough, so think strong thoughts for me.

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Exercisin’

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (7)·   September 10th, 2009

So, I’m working my way through the 30-Day Challenge on EA Sports Active.  I was in a pretty good habit of setting my alarm and getting up to do the workout before the kids woke up.  Working out first thing in the morning is about the only reliable way for me to do it, since I can come up with a lot more excuses as the day wears on.  But between a head cold and my kids deciding they no longer were happy to sleep in, I had a few unscheduled missed days.  Deciding I needed to get back on track, I figured the kids could handle hanging out while I do my 20 minutes or so of exercise.  I figured they might even be entertained. Not only do they like TV as much as the next 2-year-old, but they also got a huge kick out of some exercise video my mom and her sisters did when we were in Wisconsin.

Rebecca working out

And, not surprisingly, it turns out they get a total kick out of watching me do it. M has taught them to say “go, Mommy, go!”  They chit-chat about the “lady” (my on-screen avatar) running, they want to see her skate (an in-line skating jumping drill), and they mimic the trainer’s instructions.  Heck, all you have to do is give Daniel some empty spools of thread and he’s off to the races (his attempt at an unassisted forward “roll” and self-congratulatory “you did it!” is a bonus).

Exercisin’ from Goddess in Progress on Vimeo.

Definitely means I’m out of excuses for not getting my exercise. The kids love it, too!

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Confessional

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (23)·   August 17th, 2009

I gained 65 pounds when I was pregnant.

Not obscene, especially in the realm of twin pregnancies, but not a great thing when I started out too heavy to begin with.  Postpartum, when I was breastfeeding at least part-time, I dropped about 40 of that by my 6-week checkup.  Then I stopped breastfeeding and continued to eat as though I was.

Nine months on, nine months off, that’s what they say about “baby weight.”

Or, I think it was my beloved Stacy London who said that, once your baby is a year old, you can’t call it baby weight anymore.

Does two babies qualify me for an extension?  Either way, it doesn’t matter.  It’s been two years and I’m still hovering within 5 pounds of my 6-week checkup weight, 25 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant and (*grumble mumble too many*) pounds way above where I was when I got married.  And even that wasn’t anything approaching slender.

Regardless, I’m never going to be a particularly thin person, and that’s fine.  But here? Where I am today? This sucks.

I’m officially a size 18. There. I said it. Do you know how crappy that feels? Do you know how crappy it feels to have to go to a “special” store just to get a pair of jeans?  Blech. Blech blech blech.  Shitty, that’s how it feels.

But I can either bitch and moan about it, or I can try (once again) to do something about it.  This morning, I set my alarm and got up before the kids to do Day 1 of the EA Sports Active 30-day Challenge. I was fortunate enough to get a copy of this game a few months ago, but it arrived more than a week later than it was supposed to and the timing didn’t work out for me to be able to jump in on the challenge in June.  But now I’m home, and here I go.

And seriously? It was an honest-to-god workout! I’ve managed to get a bit of exercise using the Wii Fit games before, but this one is no fricking joke.  It goes right from one exercise to the next, and my heart was pumping and I was sweating bullets. My legs are sore from the squats I haven’t done in ages.  And this was the low-impact version. Gah!

Just for a little extra kick in the pants, I’m doing a weight loss challenge along with blog- and real-life-friend Nancy at the Zimmer Zoo.  She and I (and another MOT friend of ours) will work our tails off for the next 30 days.  Whoever wins (Biggest Loser-style, percentage-wise) will get treated to a girls’ night out by the other two.  And to hold myself accountable, I did the full-on “before” business this morning.  Got on the scale (gah). Took measurements of my legs, bust, waist, etc. (double-gah).  And stood in front of the one full-length mirror we have, which had been buried in a closet, and took a picture of myself (*eep! ack! faint!*).  I’m not inclined to share any of those right now, but I have them. I know.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another quart of water to drink.

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New Year, Better Me

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)·   January 7th, 2008

Resolutions are so cliche, I know, but I think I should write them down in the hopes of holding myself accountable. They’re more “goals” than resolutions. But I think it’s a good exercise, anyways, to think about the ways in which you’d like to improve yourself or your life. So, here’s my list.

  1. Lose weight. Yes, the ultimate New Year’s cliche. But I’m still holding on to way too much baby weight, and it’s just not acceptable. Most likely I’ll go back on Weight Watchers. I’ve done it before, and it works for me every time. It’s just that I lose steam… Ah well. Gotta keep trying. But this resolution has several sub-goals, which are more specific markers to reach for:
    • Wear wedding rings. I haven’t worn my wedding and engagement rings since I was about 12 weeks pregnant. I really miss them, but I want to try and avoid having them re-sized.
    • Stop wearing maternity clothes. My dirty little secret is now out. I still sometimes wear maternity clothes outside of the house. Stacey and Clinton just felt a small part of them die inside. Well, it ends with the new year. No more maternity clothes (except as pajamas, because they sure are comfy).
    • Shop at Ann Taylor Loft again. Must fit fat ass into real pants. Must get out of plus sizes. Lane Bryant is a good option, and all, but I know I can be in the regular sizes again.
  2. Exercise. Related to, but separate from the weight loss. I need it to clear my head, I need it to be in better shape for my kids. I need to be stronger, so I can keep up with my babies-who-will-soon-be-mobile. And I need to not throw my back out. That’s not cool.
  3. Get a babysitter. Necessary for accomplishing goal #2, but also necessary for my sanity. I love my kids more than anything, but I need a break sometimes. And there’s literally no way I’ll ever get to the gym without a sitter to watch the kids. This one is in progress, just waiting for the potential sitter to return from winter break.
  4. Be more baby-centered when the twins are awake. I feel as though I too frequently finish feeding the babies, then “put” them somewhere while I do something. Laundry, washing bottles, eating breakfast, whatever. And while that’s sometimes both necessary and good, as independent play is an important skill, I really think some of those tasks could wait (aside from breakfast) and I could just sit and interact with them more.
  5. Read to them. A more specific counterpart to goal #4. M and I both love to read, and were real bookworms as kids, and I hope to pass that love of books to our children. And, thanks to wonderful friends and family, we have an enormous library of children’s books from which to choose. Time to put them to good use. First step: at least two books per day.
  6. Be more productive when the twins are asleep. Sometimes getting them to sleep is so exhausting that I just want to veg out while they nap. And sometimes that’s just peachy. But if I’m going to be more centered on them when they’re awake, then I need to make better use of my time when they’re asleep.
  7. Finish their quilts. Seriously. It’s been way too long.
  8. Decorate their nursery. I have nursery envy from the one my dad set up, and I realized that their rooms here are a little minimalist for my taste. We’ve got picture frames and photos to put in them coming out the wazoo. Time to unleash my inner decorator.
  9. Take a photography class. I love taking pictures, of the babies in particular. And I just got a fancy new lens for my camera. But I know I’m not taking full advantage of my tools, so I’d like to learn how.
  10. Get back in touch with M. Last, but should not be least. It’s so easy, as all new moms know, to neglect your relationship with your husband when babies arrive. I’ve been trying not to, but I could do better.
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