Growing Belly | Goddess in Progress

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The reluctant belly

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (7)· June 30th, 2007

For ages, now, I’ve been getting requests for a “belly shot.” As someone who has struggled with weight her whole life, and who started this pregnancy at an all-time high, I have not been to keen on the idea. With some exceptions, I’m generally not the most fond of pictures of myself (except my wedding pictures… wow, that was many many pounds ago). Yes, I know I will someday want the record of what I looked like. But I have that from the last several years, and there are times when I sort of wish I didn’t have that record. But since virtually all of our family and friends live at least a few hundred miles away, there have been plenty of pleading emails, wanting to see what I look like, pregnant. I know what it’s like, as I have been that person with other friends’ pregnancies. So last weekend, in an effort to pacify my stepmom and mother-in-law in particular, I finally took the picture. Not wild about it, but there it is. Do forgive the slightly annoyed look on my face. And I will endeavor to take another one or two before this is all over. If for nothing else, it’s a good point of reference to try to remember just how big I was at a particular point in the pregnancy. And it’s not that I begrudge the belly. I sort of like the belly, in all of its stretch-marked glory. I like maternity clothes that accommodate it. I don’t even feel the need to hide it behind some enormous tent-like tunic. But those of you who have dealt with weight issues can understand that it’s not easy, especially since we have very few full-length mirrors in our house, so this isn’t a view I get on a daily basis.

Alright, enough qualifications. Here’s me last weekend, at 30 weeks, 1 day pregnant. For the next one I might even put on some makeup and try to smile…

Comments (7)

Categories : Photos, Pregnancy

Tags : body image, growing belly

And so it begins…

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (0)· May 27th, 2007

I came to a somewhat startling realization yesterday. I have less than a week remaining in my second trimester. As my third trimester rapidly approaches, I’ve noticed a definite increase in discomfort. While I realize I’ve still had a reasonably easy go of it compared to plenty of people, I’m only in my own body, so I can only relate so much.

My belly is getting rather large, the funny side of which being that I find myself running into things before I think I will. Especially counters. It’s gratifying to really feel like I “look pregnant, not just fat,” and I may even take a belly shot one of these days. We’ll see…

The downside to the large belly is primarily sleep. Or, rather, lack thereof. It’s getting harder and harder to get comfortable. I sleep with 4-5 pillows at all times, and my poor husband has more or less relegated himself to the guest room so as not to wake me up any extra times. Sleeping exclusively on my side is annoying, and I wake up frequently to switch sides (which is quite an endeavor) or go to the bathroom. But I’m definitely to the point that, if I lie on my back for more than a minute or two, the weight of the babies cuts of circulation. It’s not pleasant. So, sleep is becoming increasingly erratic, and I certainly don’t anticipate it will get any better as I get larger.

The belly is also feeling downright heavy, especially as the day wears on. Even though I don’t do much other than sit at my desk and walk 30 feet to the bathroom, it starts to feel heavier by the afternoon. And despite my lotioning, it gets a bit itchy by the evening. I’m not even going to talk about the stretch marks…

The babies are moving around a lot, which is really great and reassuring. Assuming they’re both on the same sides as they were (we’ll see this afternoon), I find that they frequently alternate who is more active at any one time. And despite any worries about her size, my little girl is small but quite fiesty! Lots of jabs to the ribs and other places. While it’s immensely reassuring to feel them both each day, I will admit it’s getting kind of uncomfortable. It really feels like my insides are constantly flipping around. But hey, I’ll take that over nothing any day of the week.

Other than that, the reflux is hanging around but hasn’t dramatically worsened. Feet get tired quickly, heart palpitations come around if I haven’t had enough water, and I don’t think my back is quite going to fully recover from Tuesday’s spasm.

And, just for a little extra fun, it’s getting good and warm here in New England. Friday was over 90 degrees. I was good and chugged my 3+ quarts of water, and therefore managed to still have discernable ankles by the end of the day. But it’s definitely a little preview of what is to come this summer. I’ve always been someone who gets pretty uncomfortable in the heat, but the added belly and its side effects are going to make this extra fun.

Do forgive the whining. All things considered, I’m doing well. No contractions or cervix shortening, no increase in blood pressure. I did fail the 1-hour glucose test last week, so on Tuesday I get to take the three-hour. Other than that, though, things really are going well. I just couldn’t help but notice the changes in the last week or so, and the realization that things may go rapidly downhill from here. Hey, I’ve only got a max of about 10-12 weeks left! I can make it through that…

Comments (0)

Categories : Pregnancy, Sleep

Tags : discomfort, growing belly, heartburn, pregnancy symptoms

Weekend in Chicago, part 2: On Display

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· May 3rd, 2007

It was a very strange feeling. Each friend or relative I encountered over the weekend, upon seeing me, squealed and stared at my stomach.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that half of the purpose of this visit was so that people could “see me pregnant.” These are people that I only see a few times a year, at the most, so this was going to be the only opportunity to see the majority of them during my pregnancy. I don’t begrudge them the excitement. But it still felt strange.

Saturday morning started with three people dropping by my mom’s house within 45 minutes (more on that later). I was still in my pajamas, but each one had to get a look. I went to visit a friend, who was thankfully a little less into the staring, but was excited nonetheless. Dropped over to see my (future) sister-in-law, and really started feeling like people were more interested in seeing my belly than they were in seeing me. I started trying to change the subject quickly. “Do you love your new condo?” “How’s the dog?” “Nice paint job.”

By the time I arrived at my dad’s house for dinner, and my stepmom couldn’t stop grinning at me, I was about done. I got over it as my cousins started to arrive, but I wasn’t quite enjoying it. I’m not someone who generally has a problem with being the center of attention, believe me. But it was the focus on the belly as separate entity that was a little weird, especially being someone who has always struggled with weight.

At Sunday’s shower, it was somehow less of an issue. Maybe because I was more prepared for it, or maybe because people were arriving in groups and it was somehow less noticeable. This has not been an issue back in Boston, since most people have seen me grow larger gradually, and know they’ll see me again in a day or two. But because it was people’s “only chance” to witness my expanding girth, they really seemed to want to take it in.

I don’t say this as a criticism of the people I saw. I may very well have done the same thing in the past, though I will be more conscious of it in the future. It’s not that I don’t want people to be excited about the pregnancy, nor do I even want them to ignore the belly. But feeling like an object on display, especially since it felt almost separate from “me,” was an odd experience.

Comments (1)

Categories : Family, Pregnancy, Travel

Tags : body image, growing belly

Belly Tales

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)· March 9th, 2007

A common question from friends and family these days is “are you showing yet?” They have to ask, of course, because none of them live in the same state as we do. But that’s another topic for another day.

The answer to the belly question is “sort of.” The trouble is that I already have a good layer of padding in the belly area to begin with, so at least for now, changes aren’t quite as pronounced to the outside world as they would be if I started out at, say, a size six.

That said, I started wearing maternity pants about a week ago (thank you mom, for running across a sale at the Gap and sending me four pairs of pants that you found for $7 each). They arrived just in time. The pants I purchased last month were suddenly not happening anymore. Maternity pants are the best thing, ever. These aren’t your mother’s leggings. No, these are totally normal-looking pants (including jeans!) that just happen to have a 4-inch wide elastic band at the waist. They are awesome. They are SO comfortable, especially after squeezing into normal pants a few days longer than I should have.

But even still, I have still felt that the general public would just see me as someone who is packing on a few (10.5) extra pounds. This, I think, is going to change soon. I’ve noticed a difference from even from last week to this week. Last week I could poke my belly and feel where my uterus is. This week, when I’m lying down, it’s actually a raised bump going to my belly button. I have to say, it’s kind of cool. Not enough to warrant maternity shirts yet (though I’ll be going to Lane Bryant this weekend to pick up a few larger in-between shirts), but definitely justifying the pants.

Some people do a weekly or monthly belly picture. I’m undecided on this. I have enough issues not being happy with how I look these days (I was already too heavy when I *got* pregnant, so this isn’t helping), but it might still be a fun idea for the sake of comparison. So, if you see a belly shot appearing on this site, realize it has taken a serious swallowing of pride to get there.

In the meantime, I’d better go get lunch. The twins are hungry.

Comments (4)

Categories : Pregnancy

Tags : body image, growing belly, maternity clothes, weight gain

I’m free!

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (2)· February 21st, 2007

Something wonderful happened last night. I took my very last Prometrium. Hooray! Never thought I’d be so excited to have prescription run out. I remember starting it 7-8 weeks ago, and my OB saying I’d be on it until about 12 weeks, and that seemed just so far away. I was so worried that, once again, I wouldn’t make it that far. And yet, here I am! Each little mini-milestone like this is really exciting, even though it seems like a small thing.

Getting very excited to tell the whole world about Thing 1 and Thing 2. My mom, dad, and brother all called me yesterday. In part to say hi and see how I was doing (very unusual for my brother), and in part to ask, yet again, whether they could tell people. My dad is the worst. He called while traveling in Denver. It’s not like he was at a big family event where it was going to be hard to keep it from people (he has 8 siblings). No, he was by himself, traveling for business. He was quite bummed when I told him he’d have to wait until next week, but apparently he already has the email ready to send to his brothers & sisters, so he only needs to click “send.” I asked him if MS Outlook has some kind of safety guard system to compensate for an itchy trigger (mouse) finger…

I’m definitely gaining weight, and my husband claims he can see an actual difference in my lower belly (aside from just pudge). I feel like I’m just putting on weight, but he says it looks different. I find that, when I lie down, I can poke around my belly and feel the difference where my big old uterus is. Very, very exciting.

Comments (2)

Categories : Milestones, Pregnancy

Tags : growing belly, progesterone, weight gain