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Irritable

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (11)· January 11th, 2011

The contractions started last night around 7:00.

I had gone to the grocery store and it wiped me out, so I laid down for a nap while M fed the kids and got them ready for bed.

They were painless. I remember what the contractions felt like when I went into labor, and these weren’t them. These are the subtle kind. A tightening you might attribute to something else. The feeling like your stomach is dropping as when you drive over the crest of some rolling hills. I’ve had them off and on for weeks, now. No big deal.

Except, there’s another one. And another one.

Better go drink some water. Two quarts in an hour. Tightening still subtle, but still there. Watched the clock. Three minutes apart. OK, fine, I’ll call the OB. Contractions at 31 weeks? Don’t mess around. Get your pregnant ass to Labor & Delivery.

Off I go, 9:30 at night, by myself since they frown on leaving two sleeping preschoolers at home alone. Hooked up to the monitors, baby girl is hard to track because she’s having a raging party in my belly. She looks great, happy as a clam. Contractions are showing up on the monitor, not big, but 2-3 minutes apart. If I’m distracted and talking to the nurse, I hardly notice them, but there they are.

Pee in a cup, swabs, internal exams (dammit). Shift change, waiting for labs to come back. Group B strep and fFN negative. No UTI. Cervix of steel is in full effect, no changes. Doc is delivering a baby or two, wants me to stay on the monitors for a while longer. Baby is hard to keep on the monitor since she keeps moving around (so much space in there!), so I’m stuck in an odd position, trying to hold on to her tracing. Uncomfortable bed, warm room. Back is killing me. 2:00 in the morning, tired and want to go home. Finally, doc comes back. Another exam, all is well. I can leave.

Diagnosis: Irritable Uterus.

Treatment: None. Stay hydrated. Take it easy. Tell us if they turn into real contractions. Most likely course of action? Suck it up, see you in March.

Oh, I’m irritable, alright.

Comments (11)

Categories : Hospital, Pregnancy

Tags : braxton-hicks, contractions, irritable uterus, preterm labor

Preemie Paranoia

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (16)· December 15th, 2010

I live in a very warped world.

You see, most of my local mom friends (and blog-friends, for that matter) are directly linked to the fact that we all have twins. The percentage of my mom-friends with twins is drastically out of proportion with reality.

Between my own experience of a twin pregnancy and those of my friends, I know entirely too many people whose babies have spent varying durations in one NICU or another. I know so many 28- and 30- and 32-weekers who have spent months in the hospital. Even though my babies were a full 36 weeks, that single, uneventful week in the special-care nursery was enough to dramatically alter my early parenting experience. As kind and skilled as the nurses and doctors were, I hope they will not take offense to the fact that I have zero desire to make their acquaintance again.

Having carried twins to 36 weeks, I suppose it would stand to reason that I should easily be able to make it to 37-39 weeks with a singleton (my repeat c-section will be scheduled for around 39 weeks). But I know better than to think there is any such promise made or implied by my previous pregnancy.

And so, here I am, in what feels like the red zone of “viability.” God, what a word. It seems like it should be positive, optimistic, full of possibility. But the mere fact of having to say it out loud makes it awful. I am nearly 28 weeks pregnant. I have friends with 28-weekers, and while I know their long-term outcomes are often good, especially with the quality of care here in Boston, I also know that every week on the inside past 28 makes exponential differences.

But man, I wish I was blissfully ignorant of this risk. I just want to go to the hospital, have my baby drama-free, and then go home together a few days later. Is that so much to ask?

I’ll be over here on the couch, lying on my left side and drinking lots of water, and trying to be grateful for every week that passes.

Comments (16)

Categories : Pregnancy, Secret society of twin moms

Tags : NICU, prematurity, preterm labor

Birth Story, Part 1: Labor & Delivery

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)· August 8th, 2007

Despite having a c-section scheduled for 36 weeks, 6 days, the babies decided to arrive a bit early. I won’t lie, after last week, I didn’t mind too much.

On Thursday, I was having some intermittent lower back pain. I knew they were likely contractions, but they were sparse and not terribly painful, so I chalked it up to one more discomfort. Around 10pm, that all changed. I was in bed, and was suddenly hit with a painful contraction that started in my back and wrapped its way around my belly like a really bad period cramp. It lasted a good minute. And then about 7 minutes later, it happened again.

I told my husband to get the stopwatch, and we started timing. They were very regular, coming about every 6 minutes. The worst part was that they seemed to be lasting about 2-3 minutes, peaking a couple of times. It was quickly becoming not at all fun. To add insult to injury, for whatever reason, I found I needed to pee really badly about every other contraction. So not only was I in quite a lot of pain from the contractions, but then I had to deal with the additional pain of rolling out of bed and hobbling to the bathroom.

Anyways, after three hours of timing the contractions, we decided they were not going away and made the call to the OB. At 2AM, we arrived at the hospital.

Because they knew I’d be a c-section if I delivered, they apparently decided I didn’t deserve one of the rooms with the nice beds. No, they basically put me on a stretcher. There’s nothing quite so lovely as having (what I presume to have been) back labor while on a flat, hard, not-adjustable stretcher. Once hooked up to the monitors, my contractions slowed for a while, so they were not entirely convinced I was really in labor. Great. But they checked my cervix, and I was indeed dilated to 3cm. So they hooked me up to an IV (which took three tries, of course) and gave me fluids. The contractions came back, but weren’t really registering on the monitor. They started saying how they wouldn’t just deliver a 36-weeker because I was “uncomfortable,” and it was all I could do not to cry. But they did pick up again, and upon another check, I had progressed to 4-5cm. Delivery would, indeed, be today.

The nurses prepped me, the neonatologist and anesthesiologist talked to me about what to expect, and my husband was given his set of papery blue scrubs. Around 5:30AM, I was wheeled down to the operating room. Somehow, I didn’t really feel all that nervous. For once in my life, I was kind of just living in the moment, not really thinking much about what would come next. Maybe the pain was distracting me from my usual distractions, I don’t know. Excited as I was, I didn’t freak out.

Getting the spinal was a little strange. The shot of lidocaine to numb my back hurt more than the “actual” spinal. As soon as he gave me the anesthesia, I was to lie down as quickly as possible. Suddenly my lower body started to tingle. The strange part was that I was still quite aware of people touching and prepping my belly, but no pain. Husband came in a minute or two later, and things were underway. There was plenty of tugging and pressure, as they tell you, and I did feel a little bit of pain very low in my pelvic bone. But the anesthesiologist didn’t want to give me any more meds until the babies were out, so they wouldn’t get any of it, so I just stuck it out. It wasn’t bad.

The next thing I knew, I heard them say “head is out,” and then “I need a time of birth for Baby A!” The anesthesiologist responded, “6:03.” A gurgly, underwater-sounding cry came from somewhere on the other side of the sheet at my chest. Very shortly thereafter, another gurgly cry and a “time of birth for Baby B, please.”
“6:03″
“No, that was baby A. I need a time for baby B.”
“Still 6:03.”
That’s how fast Rebecca came out after her brother.

Immediately after they were out, the anesthesiologist gave me an extra dose of “happy juice,” and according to my husband, I started snoring. I think I was only out for a few minutes, and when I woke back up, he was able to give me reports on condition and weights. Daniel was 6lb 2oz, and Rebecca was 4lb8oz. Daniel was working a little bit hard to breathe, so they took him off to the special care nursery. Rebecca was breathing better, so she got a little cuddle time with her dad, and was wheeled back with me on the stretcher to the recovery room.

C-section was fast and relatively painless, and before I knew it, we were back in the room I had so hated a few hours earlier. I sleepily looked to the other side of the room and saw my husband in a chair, gazing adoringly at our new daughter. Not such a bad room, after all.

More later on the days that followed. For now, some pictures.

Skinny Ms. Rebecca was first to get on the scale.

Daniel looks downright pudgy by comparison.

Happy daddy in the operating room.

Comments (4)

Categories : Hospital, Newborns, Pregnancy

Tags : c-section, contractions, discomfort, preterm labor

I wasn’t all wrong

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)· July 31st, 2007

Still pregnant!

But I wasn’t totally off the mark, as yesterday was a rather new and different day.

I called my OB’s office to report the new pressure I was having, mostly to ask if I should do anything or ask for anything special while I was already going to be at the hospital. My doctor wasn’t in, but my favorite doctor (ha!) from a few weeks ago called back and said I should come by the office after the NST for an exam, presumably to see if my cervix was dilating. Sounds like fun!

Off to the hospital. The BPP ultrasound went just fine, both babies dutifully practicing their breathing motions, still plenty of fluid, all of that good stuff. The non-stress test started rough, though. For some reason, little miss really likes to sleep during those, so it’s been taking a while to get her to be “reactive.” We keep ending up needing to zap her with the little buzzer or poke her to get the heartrate variation we want. Once we finally had the results we wanted, the nurse was almost ready to let me go when she realized she had never taken my blood pressure. And then it got interesting. I never heard the actual reading, but it was apparently high enough that they decided to keep me a bit longer for monitoring, especially since it was taken after an hour of me lying down. The on-call doctor ordered blood tests to see if I was developing preeclampsia. Basically, if the bloodwork didn’t come back with good results, it was going to be birthday time. Yikes! Thankfully, it all came back just fine, kidney and liver function were good. Four hours after the start of the NST, they sent me home. I had missed the opportunity to go in and get checked at the OB’s office, so I was instructed to call her in the morning.

Of course, as soon as I left, the back pain I had been experiencing in the uncomfortable hospital bed turned into pressure, and soon I was having regular cramping. By 7:30, it would start as a low back pain that wrapped around my lower belly like a really bad menstrual cramp. Hubby and I started timing them, and they were about 9-10 minutes apart, with sometimes a lesser aftershock at 4-5 minutes. I remembered my OB saying I should call anytime I had anything regular and painful, so call I did. The on-call doctor sent me back to L&D, so at nearly 11pm, off we went. The cramps indeed showed up as contractions on the monitor (it’s not all in my head), and babies were good and active, not distressed at all by these new developments. They were still relatively far apart and somewhat irregular, though. And when the nurse did my very first internal exam (short fingers! OW!!), we discovered I was not even a little bit dilated. The contractions, fun though they were, were not making changes in my cervix. So at about 1:00am, back home we went. I had been worried about a “false alarm,” but the nurse reassured me that I had done the right thing to call and come in, and not to worry about it.

Unfortunately, the contractions stuck around all night, ranging between 4 and 20 minutes apart. And these were not the painless braxton hicks I’ve had for the last many weeks. These hurt, enough that I had to really concentrate on breathing through them and not tensing up the rest of my body. Needless to say, it was an awful night’s sleep.

I talked to my OB this morning. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a big part of me that sort of hoped she’d tell me to head in and just deliver today. But as the contractions were still irregular and not close together, she wanted me to stick it out and wait at least for tomorrow’s growth check at the peri’s office. Much as I’d love to be done, the babies are still officially premature at this point, so we need a better reason than discomfort to justify delivering them. She was kind enough to say that she half hoped that tomorrow’s ultrasound would show slowed growth so I could get it over with, but in the meantime, the plan is to just kind of suck it up. (No, she obviously doesn’t want my babies to not grow well! She just understands how “done” I am…)

After a few more contractions this morning, they more or less petered out by about 11am. I’m still having some low back pain, but it’s definitely not the contractions I was having earlier. I’m resting and drinking my water like a good girl, and hopefully will get in a good nap to try to make up for last night.

Tomorrow at 11 is the big (final!) growth ultrasound, so we’ll see how it looks. If either of them has slowed down or stopped growing, it may very well be delivery time. If not, well, I get to keep on hanging out until I either go into labor on my own (which is feeling more likely!) or make it to August 9.

Things are getting interesting around here!

Comments (4)

Categories : Hospital, Pregnancy, Ultrasounds

Tags : blood draw, blood pressure, contractions, nonreactive, NST/BPP, preterm labor

Hospital day, 33w6d

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· July 19th, 2007

An interesting day, indeed, at the hospital. Today was a growth check with the ultrasound, in addition to the biophysical profile. Both babies passed the BPP, though we had to poke little boy to get him to wake up and move around for us. Weight estimates were encouraging, but interesting… Baby girl appears to have had a bit of a spurt and put on a full pound to reach 4lb4oz. Baby boy actually slowed down and gained only 10oz to reach 5lb3oz. Of course, these are estimates, and can arguably be further off the bigger (and more crowded) the babies get. But still, very encouraging that little miss continues to grow. An unusual twist, however, that her brother is slowing down. He also appears to have a bit less fluid than she does. As the peri said, it’s not as worrisome as it would be if little girl was the one with less fluid, but something to keep an eye on, nonetheless. Non-stress test was just fine, and as of next week, I’m going to actually go in TWICE every week. Good thing I’m done working!

The craziest part of the visit, however, was our discussion of when to deliver. First of all, if I go into labor spontaneously anytime tomorrow or later, they will not attempt to stop me. If it were to peter out on its own, they wouldn’t try to restart it, but they won’t stop me. OK. Wow. And then she said, “so, when do you think we should have these babies? I’m thinking 36-37 weeks.” Whoa!! Used to be 38, then 37-38… now 36? Holy crap! That’s two weeks!!

Basically, the plan is this: I’ll have my twice-per-week BPP and NST. If anything looks concerning, they might decide it’s a good day for a birthday. My next growth check will be in two weeks (August 1, to be precise). If either one of their growth has slowed or stopped? Birthday time. If growth is still good, they’ll schedule me for induction or c-section at right about 37 weeks.

WOW! I can barely wrap my mind around it. Three weeks at the most, possibly two or less. I’m pretty darn excited, but mostly it’s just not sinking in at all.

I’m off to my OB’s office shortly, where we definitely need to have a discussion about delivery method. Baby boy seems to have really taken over at the baby A position, and is head down, so vaginal delivery is an option on the table. We shall see.

Oh, and my blood pressure seemed to be creeping up at the NST today. We’ll see if that issue proves to be the dark horse that determines birthday time. I’ll update after the OB’s office if there are any interesting developments.

OB Update
After talking to my OB, she’s totally cool with me going directly for the c-section. She seemed to think it was probably a good idea in my case. If I change my mind and/or they both flip to vertex, I’m welcome to try for vaginal (if they don’t flip, then only if she’s the one on call, because she’ll do a breech extraction of twin B). But otherwise, she’s going to schedule my c-section for right about 37 weeks! To be moved up if things change, of course. Holy crap!!

Comments (1)

Categories : Hospital, OB Appointments, Pregnancy, Ultrasounds

Tags : blood pressure, c-section, discordant growth, NST/BPP, perinatologist, preterm labor

The return of semi-zen

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· July 18th, 2007

Last night was the monthly moms-of-twins “cope” meeting, which is sort of an informal support group. The range of people included two other pregnant women (20 and 25 weeks), through moms of toddlers, and even an adoptive mom and a woman who had twins through a surrogate. Always nice to hear other people’s experiences. While there were plenty of women who carried to 36+ weeks, there were also some preemies who arrived at 27 and 31 weeks (who are perfectly healthy toddlers now, by the way). I was practically applauded for showing up at nearly 34 weeks, and I really do feel proud of how far I’ve managed to get.

I realized I’m going back to the semi-zen state of mind I had (at least sometimes) in my first trimester. It’s a kind of acceptance that I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do, and whatever happens from this point forward is, to an extent, out of my control. I’m going to continue to rest, drink my water, take my vitamins, and go to my doctors’ appointments. I would love for them to stay on the inside for another 2-3 weeks. But if it happens that these babies are born tomorrow or next week or whatever, then so be it. I am certainly feeling optimistic that, at this level of gestation, chances are very high for a good outcome for all three of us. And I’ve done what little I can to see to that. So I’m kind of releasing myself to fate, and we’ll see what the next days and weeks have in store.

This is not to say that I’ve let go of my worry, or that I’m not thinking about all of this constantly. But it’s sort of an attempt to let go of the pressure/responsibility of keeping them in as long as possible. Yes, I’ll do what I can, but there comes a point when it just isn’t up to me.

P.S.
Dear babies: please stay in at least until Monday or Tuesday. Mommy needs to get her geek on one last time and finish Harry Potter.
Dear readers: woe betide the person who thinks it would be funny to post a spoiler in the comments. Hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman spoiled… I’ll be happy to discuss it in detail after I’m done. Don’t worry, I’m a very fast reader.

Comments (1)

Categories : Pregnancy, Secret society of twin moms

Tags : preterm labor

Floating away

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· July 15th, 2007

I’ve long been a water nut. Not always, but especially once I started Weight Watchers many years ago (and stopped, and started again, but that’s another post) and saw the miracle of lost water weight, I was a convert. Water seems to be the cure for whatever ails ye. I noticed how much better I felt when I got my two quarts per day. Headaches fade away, rings fit better. The sun would shine and birds would chirp. I began to notice the alternate differences, too. If I had less water, suddenly I felt sluggish, and had to coax my wedding ring on and off my finger.

I knew pregnancy would throw things off just a little, but I figured if I just upped my intake a bit, I could keep on top of things. Sure, my rings stopped fitting around 12 weeks, but they were already snug due to extra weight I had put on pre-pregnancy, so that was to be expected. I kept drinking my 2-3 quarts per day, and all seemed well.

And then it got warm. My feet started to swell somewhat alarmingly, though a good night’s sleep and upping my minimum water intake to 3 quarts seemed to help. The last couple of weeks, even that hasn’t been enough. The best I can get out of my feet at the moment is “only slightly puffy.” And I used to have pretty nice feet! Alas, now they range from pillowy to sausage-like. Charming. But my seemingly good water intake has no noticeable effect. I mean, I suppose it might be keeping the worst of it at bay, but it certainly doesn’t bring things back to normal.

Last night was yet another wake-up call on hydration. Around 6:30pm, just sitting around watching TV, I noticed a contraction. Not painful, not particularly different from the occasional ones I’ve had for several weeks now. But then it happened again. I checked the time. I got probably six in about 45 minutes. As instructed, I dutifully contacted the on-call doctor. She asked how much water I’d had that day (2.5 quarts so far, thank you), and if I’d been particularly active (not in the least). As to be expected, I was instructed to lie down and drink as much water as I could. She also made sure to remind me to empty my bladder often. Since the great irony is that two causes for contractions are dehydration and a full bladder.

I was mildly skeptical, since after already consuming nearly 3 quarts of water, I couldn’t possibly be dehydrated. But she said that, if I came in, the first thing they’d do was hook me up to IV fluids. And since I’m really not a fan of unnecessary needles in my arm, I figured I’d follow orders at home. If the contractions didn’t peter out in an hour and a half, I was to call back.

Sure enough, one hour, half a gallon of water, and about nine trips to the bathroom later, the contractions had faded.

This was a wake-up call on several levels. For one, I was suddenly faced with the reality that things can change awfully quickly. Though I doubt I would have delivered the babies last night, there was suddenly a very real possibility of being placed on restrictions or drugs to postpone labor. Of course, that possibility had always been out there, but it suddenly felt real. It also alerted me to just how much water I should be drinking. It seems incredible. I can hardly keep up, just one refill of the Nalgene after another. And I thought I was peeing a lot before…

But hey, whatever it takes, right? Anything to keep these babies on the inside just a few more weeks. Even if it means I spend 1/3 of the day drinking water and another 1/3 on the toilet. If you see my eyes floating in their sockets, you’ll know I’m doing well.

Time for another refill.

Comments (1)

Categories : Pregnancy, Weird things no one tells you

Tags : contractions, hydration, pregnancy symptoms, preterm labor

Thirty-two weeks

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· July 6th, 2007

Today is a good day. Oh sure, I slept badly last night, my hips are killing me, my ankles are swelling back up, and two of my fingers have gone numb. But that’s OK. Because today, I am 32 weeks pregnant.

I am officially out of the biggest danger zone of preterm labor and birth. My doctor said 28-32 is when they worry the most, because the risk of going into preterm labor is relatively high, while the babies’ outcomes are more in question. Yes, I still have several more weeks that would be considered preterm, but babies born at this point and later tend to do quite well in the long term even if they have to stay in the NICU for a while.

Because of this ever-lowering risk level, if I were to go into labor at any point from now on (which seems unlikely, given my cervix of steel), I would be free to go to my nearby community hospital, instead of needing to go to one of the larger teaching hospitals downtown. Not that I have any problem with those hospitals, and my sister-in-law is even a medical student on her OB rotation at said hospital right now. But it’s nice to know that “my” hospital can handle much of what I could throw at them at this point. And if the babies needed to stay in the hospital for a while longer than me, I wouldn’t have to get myself all the way downtown to see them.

I’ve also been struck by how very close to the end I now am. At the most, I have three weeks left of work. I used to think that working to 35 weeks was a pipe dream. Now it seems like a fait accompli. Heck, it’s worth it to keep coming for the air conditioning, alone.

At the most, I have six weeks remaining of this pregnancy. Yes, each day has crept by, same as the day before. Yet somehow… six weeks? Wow. And it could be even sooner, who knows. Suddenly things are seeming a bit more urgent. Time to wash the onesies, pack the hospital bag. Time to make arrangements for the dog while we’re in the hospital. Heck, time to stop putting off trading my car in for the minivan we’ve been talking about. After that, we can even install the carseats. Holy crap.

But here I am, 32 weeks. I had so hoped that I would make it to this point, that no emergencies would arise and cause something to happen before now. Not to jinx anything, but I feel like a particular chunk of worry has fallen off of my shoulders. Sure, there’s still plenty to worry about, and I won’t be neglecting any of it. But this is just one less thing.

Now if I can make it to 35 or 36… August, here I come.

Comments (1)

Categories : Milestones, Pregnancy, Working

Tags : pregnancy symptoms, preterm labor

Fast Forward

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· July 2nd, 2007

I’m sorry. What day is it? What do you mean, July second? No, no. That can’t be. You see, for the entirety of this pregnancy, I have been thinking about July. For one thing, it was far away. Very far away. July was on my mind from the very beginning, because it was July when my brother was going to get married in San Diego. The wedding that, as soon as I found out I was having twins, I knew I would have to miss. What do you mean that’s in five days? I remember finding out that the last Harry Potter book was being released on July 21. I did some quick counting and realized that would make me 34 weeks pregnant… and hoped I’d make it that far. Suddenly it’s less than three weeks away.

July, in my mind, was the true final lap of the pregnancy. It was like Thursday. I had an orchestra director in high school who maintained that the day of the week that we should really celebrate was Thursday, because once you made it to Friday, you were really already at the weekend. It was getting through Thursday that was the real accomplishment. July is the Thursday of my pregnancy (with the very real possibility of not going to school on Friday). Early July had a big milestone that I wanted to reach – 32 weeks. After 32 weeks, I wouldn’t have to go all the way downtown, but could deliver at my hospital. Mentally, 34 weeks is a big step for me, since that’s when I was born, and obviously I made it OK. Maybe I’d make it to 34 weeks. And anything after 35 weeks seemed like bonus time. But those were far-off, theoretical dates. They were in July.

And yet, here we are. The second day of July. People are starting to get on planes to head for my brother’s wedding. My Harry Potter book is preordered from Amazon.com. My breastfeeding class (I worried that I might have scheduled it too late – what if I went early?!) is on Thursday. On Friday, I’ll be 32 weeks pregnant. When did all of this happen? Who has been holding down the fast-forward button?

Even though Friday is a big milestone as far as safety and viability and all of that, I don’t want them to be born next week. I want them to stay inside, develop their lungs, and cook a little longer. Even if it means my feet look like softballs and carpal tunnel is making it so my fingers are numb. But here we are, in July. The end isn’t in particularly sharp focus, but it’s definitely in sight. How strange is that?

Comments (1)

Categories : Milestones, Pregnancy

Tags : pregnancy symptoms, preterm labor

Begin Phase Three

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (0)· June 4th, 2007

I am now in the “home stretch” of this pregnancy. It’s very strange, how time speeds up and slows down at different points. The first trimester seemed to last forever, despite the fact that you don’t even know you’re in it until five weeks are done! For me, in particular, there was a lot of worry about the viability of the pregnancy, which that made each day go so slowly. Every little milestone (woohoo, nine weeks!) felt huge. The second trimester was plenty busy, with lots of doctors appointments and changes to body, mind, and wardrobe. But despite the fact that 14 weeks (early March) feels like it was AGES ago, it also seems to have really flown. 27 weeks? That used to feel so far away! And yet here I am, on my way to 28.

The funny thing is that I don’t feel like I have any real idea of how much time I have left. At the most, I’ve got just over 10 weeks, because my OB has already said she wouldn’t have me go any later than 38 weeks (August 17, in case you’re counting). But I also know that twins are at a higher risk for preterm birth, which could be anytime between now and then. I also know that I was born early – a first (singleton) baby born at 34 weeks. I don’t think there’s much evidence that I therefore have a predisposition to early babies, but still, it’s hard not to worry. I don’t (I think) have any warning signs for preterm labor at this point. My cervix has remained long and closed, I’m not having any regular contractions (I’m not sure I’m having any at all, but it’s possible I don’t know what to look for). The babies will hopefully keep cooking at least another eight weeks. But I just don’t know.

That’s really my biggest worry at this point: that they’ll come too early. Though I’ve heard great things about NICU nurses, I’d prefer to avoid getting to know them over the course of several weeks or months. I’m concerned enough about it that it even keeps creeping up in my dreams, including last night, when I was visiting both of them in the NICU (they had names, and were doing pretty well, thank you!). But I woke up thinking that, at this point, every week that passes is an important milestone. Every new week means a couple more percentage points on the side of “likely to have a good outcome.” There are some bigger milestones, too. 32 weeks (July 6) means I can go to my regular hospital instead of heading downtown to the super-high-needs NICU. 35 weeks (July 27) means I even have a decent chance of avoiding a long stay in the NICU altogether. Once the month of August hits, I feel like I’ll be home free.

Of course, you just never know. You don’t ever know what can happen between now and then. You don’t know what rare and unusual thing can happen and throw everything for a loop. But I suppose I can only work with the information I’ve got. No sense worrying about the one-in-a-million, because what could I do to prepare for it, anyways?

So, here I am. Trying not to freak out when one or the other baby doesn’t move for an hour or two (as soon as I almost totally lose it, the quiet one speaks up), taking it easy to avoid overexerting myself (making the bed was a feat this weekend), and trying to find a comfortable position for 5-10 minutes at a time. I sure hope time doesn’t slow down too much…

Comments (0)

Categories : Milestones, Pregnancy

Tags : paranoia, preterm labor