A strange thing has happened, now that we’ve told our parents.
I don’t want to talk about it. At all.
This is not to say I’m not thinking about it all of the time. But now that I’ve told some people, I kind of want them to forget about it for a little while. Everyone has been very excited and happy and caring, and they’re all really great. But because part of me is still feeling very cautious (and partly because I don’t exactly feel different), I really don’t want people fussing over me. It’s perfectly nice when people ask how I’m feeling, but I sure wish it would stop there. Really, once per day is more than enough concern for the time being.
Even as I was telling people and they were really excited, I actually had a hard time matching their excitement. I wanted to temper it, and say “yes, everything is ok, I think. But you never know.” I don’t want to be a downer, and I don’t want it to seem like I’m not happy about this, but I’m still afraid to get too invested.
Part of it is definitely moodiness. I was extra crabby yesterday, for no particularly good reason. In fact, I had every reason to be in a perfectly good mood. But no. I apologized to my hubby, and did everything I could to make it clear that it was no reflection on anything he has or hasn’t done (he’s been great). But alas, Ms. Crabby-Pants made an extended appearance. And when I finally started to emerge from my funk, the Prometrium kicked in and made me dizzy. What fun!
Alas, maybe this will get better. Friday is the next ultrasound, which will hopefully provide more reassurance (c’mon , little heartrate!). I really want my moodiness to be more under control. Otherwise, all is well here.
By the way, this little one has a name for (likely) the duration of the pregnancy: Kermit. Just because.
