Sometimes I’m not very good at sticking up for myself.
People who know me might laugh at this statement, and it’s not 100% true. When dealing with my students, I can be a total hard-ass. When I know I’ve got backing (like a clearly stated rule, policy, etc.), I have no problem being the “bad cop.”
But when it’s more ambiguous, I’m terrible. I’m not a particularly good negotiator, I hate situations when people haggle over prices or terms, and I don’t like to come across as particularly demanding. I’m something of a dyed-in-the-wool peacemaker that way. So calling my OB’s office to try to make my ultrasound appointment earlier was somewhat stressful for me.
It shouldn’t have been. I know my OB would have no problem with it. I know that when the nurse practitioner wrote down an order for an ultrasound in two weeks, she meant “about” two weeks. I know that the scheduling people read that as “at least” two weeks, and that’s all there was to it.
But anyways, I called and left a message for my OB asking if she had any suggestions for how to make it earlier, tried to sound very nonchalant, non-urgent, etc. Someone from the office called back and said she thought I had sounded concerned, so she wanted to get right back to me. Ooops! Apparently my tone of voice, while trying hard to sound like it was no big deal, instead sounded sad and/or scared.
She checked with the nurse practitioner to make sure the earlier timing was OK, which of course was fine, and now I’m scheduled for February 9 (one week from today) in the office that I like. I got exactly what I wanted. So why do I feel a little guilty about it?
I know, especially when I’m pregnant and having been through what I have, I just need to stick up for whatever I need and not worry about how I come across. But it’s really hard for me to let go of that one. I want to be liked, I don’t want to get a reputation as an over-reacter, a demanding psycho, or generally just a crazy pregnant lady. Even though I know I have a little bit of license in the crazy department right now, I’m trying hard not to take advantage of it.
Well, now I just need to let go of that guilt, and be VERY happy that I have another ultrasound in one little week! Hooray! I’m very excited to make sure both twins are doing well. Assuming that’s the case, we might start selectively letting the cat out of the bag next weekend. I can’t wait!
Hi! How are you doing? I had a chemical pregnancy in december so I never got to post on the August 07 board which is where I found the url to this. I hope that everything is good. Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months and beyond.
Okay, I know how you feel because I’m the same way. Having said that, you are about to go on a wild ride – you are a superstar because you’re pregnant with twins. Technically, you’re a “high risk” pregnancy so doctors will automatically give you the benefit of the doubt.
And when you have your precious ones chances are you’ll change and advocate at the top of your lungs when you think it will benefit your kids. Being a parent does that to you.
Best of luck!