Comments on: Sink or Swim

By: Beverly

Beverly — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 22:41:37 +0000

I don’t think you need one more opinion on this, Liz, and I’m not the mom of an older child, either, but I have to agree with everyone else — you did a good thing by withdrawing from the class! Like you, I can be a hardass parent. I think there are LOTS of times in a toddler’s life when you need to just let them get the tears out; otherwise, you just raise a kid who’s used to getting his or her way all the time, whether it’s appropriate or not. BUT, if my child seems really uncomfortable with a new experience … to the point of screaming … I’m certainly going to pull him out of the situation and calm him down. Not to say, “let’s never do this again,” but to say, “Don’t be scared. What’s upsetting you?” and find out if there’s another way to approach it, or at the very least, re-try the activity after I’ve calmed him down. I really don’t think that teacher knew what she was talking about. I would think that if you DIDN’T comfort Daniel, it would send him a message that Mommy’s not there for him, that he’s just all out there in the scary water on his own. That’s not a good message to send! I don’t think you taking him out sent him a message that the pool is bad. I think the only message he got was, “Mommy to the rescue,” which is as it should be in these types of situations. Good instinct-following on this one!

Beverly´s last blog post..More Cuteness

By: CarrieinAK

CarrieinAK — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:09:58 +0000

I see you already have a ton of responses, and one from Luckygirl, who was the person who I KNEW would be able to answer this question! Since I know this wonderful woman in real life, we seeked her advice about swimming lessons(class vs. no class) in December. We took her advice and didn't sign up for the classes but instead have been taking them to Open Swim most weekends. We let them 'guide' us as to what they'd like to do and don't force them at all. If there was any negative association with the water (cries, ect), we took them out immediately and gave them a break. The last thing I want is for them to have a fear of water/swimming, etc...and I know that, by removing Daniel from the situation instead of letting him 'deal', you want the same thing. Just as with Little Gym classes, etc. I've found that the instructor makes all the difference in the world. It sounds like this instructor needs a swift kick in the ass. Dunking a kid who (obviously) does not want to be dunked? That's grounds for a Speedo wedgie. P.S. For us, we are waiting until the kids are at least 3 before we sign them up for any sort of organized swim class. There is no point to wasting any money when Open Swim is essentially the same thing (without the forcing of dunks), in my opinion. CarrieinAK´s last blog post..The Daily Report

By: Hillary

Hillary — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 05:17:44 +0000

I think the blowing-in-the-face thing works well -- with little tiny babies. Not toddlers. Toddlers don't have the same suck-in reflex as babies do. I only had one kid at a time, so I was able to start both of my girls in the pool at about six to eight weeks. Both were comfortable in the water initially but, at an age where they realized that water could be dangerous (once they figured out that they're small and don't ACTUALLY control the world) they showed some fear and it slowed down their progress for a while. I think that was around age 3 for my first kid and 3 1/2 for my second. But it was just a hiccup to move through, slowly. Clearly, causing a kid to be freaked out by the water is not a good move. I love the Y (worked there for many years) and I am a swimmer (I was not yet 4 when I swam my first race), and I have to say that I have not had good experiences with the Y swim lessons in the city where I live. I'm sure it's different everywhere, but our Y just does not have a great program. I enrolled my kids in lessons at four different places before I found one I liked. Don't give up. Hillary´s last blog post..Callie has an earache

By: Alexis

Alexis — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:14:42 +0000

I’m just pregnant with twins, so I have no feedback on the swim lessons, but I will take a moment to commiserate about this weather. It’s such a tease to give us 60 and sunny and then this today (I’m in the Boston area too). Makes me want to gouge my eyes out and I’m not stuck in the house with two toddlers (just two fetuses). Hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel though cause this tunnel done gone on too damned long. Love your blog!

By: Alison

Alison — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:52:48 +0000

Wow! Hot topic! I have to join the choir and say go the Gymboree route – it’s not worth it. It sounds like you, M., Daniel, and probably Rebecca, were not lovin’ it.
Funnily enough we’re going away next week on a baby friendly vacation that offers baby swim classes – our first. I’m VERY curious to see how they go.

By: Tara

Tara — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:31:36 +0000

One other thing... I usually do "dunk" my daughter once during our swims together. It's typically when she's gotten to her most comfortable point and we're almost ready to get out. She loves 'Ring around the Rosie,' so we do that and finish with "...and all go under!" Then we both go under quickly together. She's often a bit surprised and doesn't completely love it, but it doesn't seem that traumatic. So, I'm all for pushing your kid a little beyond their comfort zone, but only by one level, not by going from 0 to 60 in five minutes. Tara´s last blog post..Going to the Zoo & Going to the Chapel

By: Tara

Tara — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:25:00 +0000

As a former swimming teacher (of all ages, including babies and toddlers) and mother of a two-year-old who enjoys the water but typically spends a half hour of playing with the toys on the steps before actually getting in, I totally agree with you. It should be about the kids getting comfortable with the water. And the teacher should most definitely learn the kids' names in a class like that! I'd look for another teacher, and if this seems to be the norm at that place, look elsewhere. Or maybe just go to family open swim with the kids (and two adults!) regularly for awhile. You know enough to practice getting the kids comfortable with the water at this age -- a little kicking practice, increasing levels of independence (i.e. moving the kid farther away from your body), bubble blowing, and songs like 'Ring around the Rosie' and 'Motorboat' are pretty much all it takes. Tara´s last blog post..Going to the Zoo & Going to the Chapel

By: Nicole

Nicole — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:44:48 +0000

Go with the mommy-spidey-sense. You know your kids and I somehow doubt that this woman has some sort of degree in child psychology. My idiot cousin is a swim instructor and while I'm sure she can teach swimming very well, I know for certain that she knows jack sh!t about kids. Perhaps this instructor is like her... Nicole´s last blog post..Makes My Monday: NOT!

By: Becky

Becky — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:01:45 +0000

I, too, was a swim lesson instructor & second Luckygirl's comment above... cut your losses now & follow your spidey-sense. You'd probably have better luck just going the the pool with the 4 of you & no instructor! Becky´s last blog post..Maybe next I'll update my taste in music.... Nah.

By: Jungletwins

Jungletwins — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 03:53:08 +0000

Oh boy, I'm going to need therapy after that post. The bad memories came flooding back! I endured years of godawful Y swimming lessons with a meanie instructor, and at the end of it all, I still didn't know how to swim properly! I didn't learn how to really swim (head down, breathing, etc) until high school, when I was peer pressured into joining the swim team. I sucked big time, but it was loads of fun after I got over the initial panic attack on the first day of practice when I realized that everyone else could swim...well. A buddy of mine who happens to be a great swimmer patted me on the shoulder and said, "Just blow bubbles! That's what I do!" Why did no one tell me this before!? After that, swimming was a cinch. In an odd twist, since high school I have since taught 3 other adults, all Y victims like me, how to swim properly- through encouragement and bubbles. Run from that class as fast as your little legs will carry you! Jungletwins´s last blog post..My 100th Post!