I’m having one of those weeks.
One of those weeks where you just start to think, “why the f@*% do I bother?”
We all know that parenting can be, much of the time, a pretty thankless job. I’m really feeling that aspect of it right now.
It’s been cool and rainy and generally unpleasant for the last, oh I don’t know, 18 million days. We’re stir-crazy. I’m trying to take the kids out whenever possible. The thanks I get for taking them to the playspace at the mall the other day? Daniel has a complete meltdown and I am that woman dragging two toddlers (one screaming hysterically) by the arm back to the car. You know, because I decided to be bold and go without the stroller.
Yesterday, it was finally not raining. We had a playdate with some of the kids’ very favorite people. The thanks I get? Daniel throwing everything in sight (and narrating as he does it: “frow-in juice! frow-in glasses!”) and Rebecca having one of those meltdowns where they’re completely incoherent, snot running down the face, etc etc.
It did rain this morning, but very early and the skies cleared just a little in the morning. Thought I’d take the kids to the park. Here’s me, hyping up “come on! Let’s go to the playground! Wohoo, the playground!” A certain 23-month-old boy has to be wrestled into the car, wailing. I am so mean.
It’s the age plus the personality, but it’s constant whining and tantrums around here. Whining and tantrums if we stay in, cooped up. Whining and tantrums if we do something fun. Plus a minor cold and some disrupted sleep thrown in, just for kicks. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted, and dying for a NICE SUMMER DAY. And it just makes me think, “why do I bother trying to come up with fun things to do, if they’re just going to lose it, anyways?”
But I have to. I have to keep trying. And I don’t think I’m actually doing anything “wrong.” It’s a hard age, and that’s all there is to it. You just have to keep your head down and barrel through. And, call it an evolutionary survival tactic, but there have been some really nice moments in amongst the muck. Before the playspace meltdown, we actually went into a store in the mall and bought things without a stroller or a catastrophe. The constant reinforcements on saying “please” and “thank you” seem to be paying off. There are spontaneous hugs and kisses if someone is upset. And at this very moment, as I type, Rebecca is behind me, singing, while Daniel is going through a pile of books.
It’s a good thing they’re cute.
Awwww Goddess…twin parenting (and likely other parenting too) is beset with those stages where NOTHING seems to be “right” that Mom does. (Let me go ahead and let you know 7 1/2 is a big one…)
But you’re so right…they ARE cute, and the hugs and smiles and bright moments do tend to blur the more harrowing phases.
Hang in there!
Oh boy, I am right there with you. It seems like the last couple of weeks has been particularly difficult…with the whining and the spontaneous, unexplained crying/fit throwing. Ugh. AND, none of my old tricks seem to work. I keep telling myself it is just a stage, and it will get better soon. Fingers crossed!
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Oh yes. I hear you!
There’s definitely and evolutionary thing with that whole “cute” factor going on.
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Mall without a stroller – you are brave! Glad it went well for part of the time though – you’re half way there
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Nothing but virtual hugs for you. And I agree with Cheryl, it seems there are always phases where nothing can go right.
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Do you think maybe your twins and my twins could actually be a set of Quads separated at birth? I feel like you read my mind word-for-word with this post. Luckily, I have a 4 year old, so I know it does get better!! Hang in there!
yes, it’s a very good thing they’re cute! i know how you feel, girl, i’ve been there and i’m there now and i know i will be there in the future. i was “that” mother in the grocery store yesterday. it was the first time (at least i think, unless i blocked out the memory, which is quite possible). i tried to embrace it as much i could. there’s nothing you can do about it, and damn it, we needed milk. the thing i have to keep reminding myself through the three-hour whine/cry fests (yesterday was a rough day for oz, for no apparent reason), is not to take it personally. and not to try and over-control it. do the best i can, stay consistent, be as comforting as possible, but ultimately they are going to have to get through it. i know, it sucks.
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I don’t have twins, but I understand what you’re saying about wondering why you try to do “nice” things when they just blow up in your face. I’ve been especially cognizant of trying to do special things with my 2 1/2 year old both before and since the birth of the sibling, but it seems there is no appreciation. Every time I do something special with her, she seems to have some kind of a meltdown or other or is just generally defiant and undisciplined. But, you’re right, we just have to keep trying.
Oh boy, what a week! You get 10 gold stars for not losing your shiz when given some mighty provocation. They are definitely not showing you the appreciation you deserve (or in other words they’re being toddlers), but I have no doubt they are benefiting from it tremendously. It will all be worth it in a few years time when you have sweet, well adjusted, polite children. The parents of their classmates will all say, “however did you do it?” You can say- It was frikin hard, yo!
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