Thursday Theater is on hiatus this week. Feel free to check the archives for some video goodness if you’ve missed any!

In the meantime, I have lost my ever-loving mind. I blame the rain that seems to really have it out for Massachusetts this year. Yes, after a few days of teasing us with awesome summer-like temps and sun, we’re back to 60s and rain. And I am running out of ideas. We’ve made all variety of muffins. We’ve made an enormous mess with the rice box. We’ve watched entirely too much TV. We’ve gone to the mall, we’ve gone to Target, we’ve gone to Starbucks (Daniel now way too many store names).

Wednesday afternoon, it was momentarily not raining, so I contemplated taking the kids to a nearby zoo that we should frequent more than we do. Except I checked the forecast and saw the “severe thunderstorm, there might be big honking hail, ohmygodrunforcover” weather alert. Crap, crappity crap crap crap.

That’s when I lost my mind. And decided we should go to the movie theater.

That’s right, people. I took two 23-month-olds, by myself, to the movies. I almost chickened out, too. But what the hell. Even if we leave after 15 minutes, at least that’s 15 more minutes closer to bedtime.

I talked it up in the car, and made sure to let them know that the movie theater would be dark “mooo-fee feater duhrk” Daniel kept saying. (Yes, I’m trying to approximate his pronunciation. Roll with me.) When we almost had tantrums over walking in the parking lot and holding the umbrella, I was sure we were screwed.

We got there for the 4:10 showing of Up. And while they charged a ridiculous amount of money for me, at least the two-under-two got in free. I even splurged and got popcorn and chocolate-covered raisins. If you’re going to do it, might as well do it up right.

Blessedly, there were very few people in the theater, and one of them was a dad of teenaged boy/girl twins. Ah, at least one person who was sympathetic to my plight.

Once I got them set up with boosters (not only were they too short, but they’re barely heavy enough to weigh down the seats), they were awesome. I wish I had a flash on my iPhone so that I could have captured the cuteness of Daniel and his bag of popcorn, narrating (in full voice) everything he saw, from the commercials before the movie through the previews. Rebecca was on my other side, quietly paying attention (and shrieking in delight whenever she saw a dog on the screen), and requesting more raisins.

When the movie started, Daniel insisted on sitting on my lap. Aside from the running commentary, they both did almost shockingly well. Startled a few times, started to fret about certain scenes, but otherwise really really good. I had to bust out the Flashlight app on my phone to find a dropped sippy cup, and Rebecca fell out of her seat once. It was a lot more maintenance than just sitting and watching a movie, but they really did very well.

But when it went bad, it went really bad.

For those who haven’t seen a movie, there’s (no big surprise) some sorta-scary-action parts including a big chase scene and such. The movie was loud, and I kind of thought they were shrieking along with the action. And then Daniel was quiet. And I could feel his belly (he was still sitting on my lap) get tight, and I turned and saw his face. It was frozen the way he always has done since he was a tiny baby… one cry, then the wide open mouth and hold his breath until you think he’s going to pass out, and then SCREAM.

Oh lordy. The screaming child. I scooped up both kids. Except now Rebecca was screaming too. Not scared, but pissed that I’m attempting to take her away from the movie.

Adrenaline is pumping. We settle in the back of the theater, Daniel stops crying. Rebecca just wants us to go back to the seat to watch the movie. I try to convince them we should just watch it from back here, next to the door. They sort of agree, at least they aren’t screaming. But Daniel is starting with his “go home” that is how you know he’s done. It gets scary again, and I decide we’re all done. I grab shoes (yes, Rebecca, removed her shoes), purse, umbrella. God only knows what happened to the sippy cups or what kind of mess we’ve left.

And Rebecca loses. her. shit.

Daniel is perfectly pleased to be walking towards the exit and the car, dragging the umbrella. For once, he’s not outwardly defiant on every single little thing. Rebecca, however, is completely hysterical. I’m practically carrying her like a sack of potatoes, and she’s just screaming “movie! movie! movie!” Red face, tears, snot, the whole nine yards. Lost-her-mind hysterical.

I kid you not, she screamed “movie! movie! movie!” for twenty minutes. TWENTY. While we sat in rush hour traffic, trying to get home. Twenty minutes is an eternity trapped in a car with two toddlers going about 7 miles per hour. Thank god M was home when we arrived, so I could go decompress from the traffic and the screaming.

But I’ll tell you, even after that, I count it as a major success. I’m not entirely sure, but I think they actually made it through nearly the entire movie. We sat down in our seats at about 4pm. We left at about 5:40. That’s damn impressive. And if we’d had a second adult, I’m sure that one of us could have hung out in the lobby with Daniel while the other finished the movie with Rebecca.

I don’t think I’ll be attempting it on my own again anytime soon, but I’ll tell you, it wasn’t as complete a failure as I feared it would be. And for yet another rainy day, that’s something.

Tags: movies, rainy day activity

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 8:12 am and is filed under Toddlers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.