So, we have a bathtime issue in my house. Truth be told, we’ve had this issue for a little while now (3 weeks? 6 months? time is a blur…). Specifically, it involves water, shampoo, and a ridiculous amount of screaming.
Rebecca has never liked getting her head wet. No amount of trying to teach her to tip her head backwards or close her eyes has ever really helped. And she certainly has a flair for the dramatic, so recently the screaming about hair-washing has really escalated. At the first hint of bathtime, she immediately starts with the slightly-frantic “no shampoo! no shampoo!” Good times.
Daniel used to be no problem at all with hair washing. He listened reasonably well when I told him to look up and put his head back, and it generally just didn’t phase him. Now, oh lordy. He literally wails with the exact same tone in his cry as though he’s just gotten three shots at the pediatrician’s, or has somersaulted down the front stairs. Pain, horror, fear. It’s really quite something.
Naturally, we’ve cut down the frequency of shampoo in our house to once every 3 or 4 days. But even still, the screaming (which is very nearly as bad even if I just do a quick rinse with water and a washcloth) has got to stop. Entirely too much stress and drama at the end of the day. So I have decided to implement our very first sticker chart.
A few minutes in word processing, and this is what we’ve got. They’re taped up right outside our upstairs bathroom, and we did our best to really talk it up over the weekend. The deal is this: no crying in the bathtub, and you get a sticker (and a whole lot of fuss from mom & dad). That’s it. I’ll even let you slide if you require a reminder or two while in the bath, as long as any whining and pre-crying stops. I even ramped up slowly. The first night involved no water anywhere near the hair. The second night was just water, no shampoo. Tonight, if I’m feeling brave, I might go all the way.
The results after the first two nights are interesting, though probably not surprising if I stop to think about it. Rebecca, who has always hated water on her hair, is also generally less defiant and stubborn, as well as eager to please and into rules (and stickers). Stickers earned both nights, and throughout the remainder of bedtime, she kept talking about how she didn’t cry in the tub, and got a sticker. Sweet! Daniel, on the other hand… oh, Daniel. First night with no water was OK, but last night he most definitely did not earn his sticker. Wailing, complete with his trademark blue lips from not breathing enough while freaking out. Still, I’ll hold out hope for a few more nights, especially if he really starts to notice that his sister gets a sticker and lots of praise and he doesn’t.
So, what has been a good use of sticker charts in your house?
It is the opposite at our house! Nate is defiant and stubborn but give him stickers (and tell him he got more stickers than Alex) and he will do just about anything. Alex is a rule follower and eager to please but could care less about stickers. Or rather, stickers do not motivate him enough to do something.
Jelly beans however, pretty much get Alex to cooperate with anything at all. And that is how we stopped the bathttime screaming. If they didn’t cry, they got to have a gummi vitamin.
Ditto with potty training. As long as Nate got to say he had stickers and Alex didn’t, then he was excited. Give Alex some jelly beans and he’ll use the potty.
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Ya – Logan’s going through a screaming stage as well. He used to be so good! Have you tried those head rinsing cup thingies? Sometimes that works.
Sticker charts. I always have good intentions…but then get lazy *blush* I should probably start a sticker chart to get the big ‘uns over-night potty trained. We were doing so well….. alas.
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So far, no stickers are needed here, but we do use this: http://www.onestepahead.com/product/osa/442788.html which I bought at Wal-Mart or Target when Kate was about a year old. It’s one of the few products which does exactly what it says. It has a flexible side at the opening which sticks right to her head (as long as she is relatively still) and the water doesn’t slide down her face–just her head. Let us know how things go!
This is exactly why I totally dig your blog. Our girls are 14 months old, and we definitely have the screaming thing going on with hair washing. They will stand right up and try to climb over the side of the tub if they think hair washing is coming. Since they are not totally steady on their feet yet, this is usually a dangerous situation. Now I have an idea of something to implement should this phase continue to the point where they actually know what the heck a sticker is.
Love, love, love sticker charts! It’s my inner social worker—I can’t resist.
Sadly, they have not been successful in motivating for pee.
We’ve used sticker charts for getting up in the morning. My kids take FOREVER to get out the door, so we have made one column that says “done by 7:00″. If they get all the columns finished, along with that one, they get to pick a snack to eat in the car.
Discipline is a hard thing to teach!
Good Luck!
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We haven’t used any sticker charts yet, though I did contemplate it for bedtime when my son went through an extended phase of repeatedly crying for us every time we left his bedroom. I don’t really remember how we fixed that – as you said, time is a blur…
My son also hates getting any kind of soap or water in his eyes, and cannot for the love of god figure out how to properly tilt his head back so that neither enter his eyes. We’ve had struggles, though not quite as bad as the ones your kids are giving you. What worked for us – goggles. We bought them for the pool, and Finn was so attached to them that he insisted on wearing them in the tub, too. Kept his eyes nice and dry/soap free. We only used them for a few weeks, and then he managed to move on from his obsession, but we haven’t had any problems washing his hair since. Your kids may be a bit young for that approach (may not understand that goggles can keep soap/water out of their eyes), but if you get desperate enough it may be worth a shot. Good luck!
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Four-Month Stats =-.
We went through an anti-bath stage right around the same age. My girls thought it was great fun if I got in the tub with them and after about a month or so, they were over that stage.
We do use sticker charts with potty training and getting through the morning routine without a fight.
.-= Rhonda´s last blog ..this here’s the Rubber Duck =-.
Ah, the sticker chart (mine are not as fancy as yours…just homemade…see one of my posts from a few weeks ago). It’s worked pretty well for us with potty training, but the kid definitely has to be ready for what it is they’re being asked to do. Emilia did great when she got a sticker for going pee, but now when she only gets one for going poop on the potty chair or having a dry diaper after naptime or night, the chart stands empty. It helped when we went to the store together and Emilia got to pick out the stickers herself. And whenever she finished a row, she got a special night out with mom or dad at the ice cream shop. With twins, that might be a great incentive, some one-on-one time and a special treat. Good luck!
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Melody learned to rinse her own hair. For some reason, she doesn’t mind getting water in her eyes as long as she’s the one doing it.
Oh right. I’m a control freak too!
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oh i can so empathize! every night when we call bath time the boys immediately start asking, “no wash hair? no wash hair?” it’s like the death nail when we say yes. it has gotten a lot better now that they are starting to learn to do it themselves. they get their hair moderately wet with a washcloth and then we let them suds their own head. we taught them to close their eyes and hold their hands over their ears (apparently the biggest offenders were water in the ears and eyes). but we still only require a hair washing every 3-4 days!
but i have to say, i’m a fan of the sticker chart! the boys loved it for potty training. maybe i should try it for baths too!
Great idea! We’ve been living in Bath Hell for the past 2 months. In fact, after doing baths every single night since they were about 6 months old, we find ourselves doing it every other night just to stop the insanity. And hair washing? My gawd, the boys scream at the top of their lungs, “DON’T WASH MY EYE BALLS!!!”, code words for “don’t wash my hair and get water or soap near my eyes because I will scream bloody murder!”.
Last Sunday, however, a miracle occured. We realized that the boys like to do a kid-version of the cobra pose while in the bath. So we told Finn to do the cobra with his legs down while we rinsed. We said it would not heard his “eyeballs”, so he went along with it. PRESTO! No screaming! We tried to get Reid to follow suit, but he wasn’t having it. But the next morning when Finn (out of the blue) talked about leaning back and getting his hair rinsed, Reid said that he would try it next time.
We’ll be doing a sticker chart over labor day weekend for potty training, and if it works then, we might have to implement one for Reid in the bath. They LOVE stickers, so I am sure it would work. Hmmmm….maybe this would work for toenail clipping too.
Good luck!!
.-= CarrieinAK´s last blog ..Lefty =-.
Ahh, just like Nancy…sticker charts didn’t work well with us, because *I* would forget to implement. But 2 things worked for us during the 2yr old “I hate baths” stage. (1) Bubbles. Something about bubbles calms, soothes, and adds a new dimension to baths. (2) I saw this on some parenting show—-take a clean, plastic squeezable ketchup bottle, and fill it with water. Let them squirt out and have fun with it, and you can even use it for hair rinsing. Good luck, and remember, this too shall pass!
Crap. My kids are great bathers. Is this in my future too? Ned’s been fussying about us dumping water on his head but we keep doing it. I’ve been hoping all our efforts to just constantly dump water on their heads since there were 2 months old would de-sensitive them but who am I kidding?
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