There is a major power struggle going on in my house right now. Daniel has hit that most delightful stage of toddlerhood where he feels the need to exert his independence/power/control at every possible opportunity. And let me tell you, it’s a blast.
He has his favorite tactics. Oh, sure, sometimes he just straight up says “no.” But he tries to get more creative than that. If I say we’re going upstairs (or out to the car, or whatever), it’s almost guaranteed that I will hear a sentence that starts with “first I…”. “First I gonna wash the hands.” “First I gonna play with the toys.” Et cetera, et cetera.
Another favorite phrase when he’s in a defiant/delaying mood is “I no like (yike) that.” “I no yike dat snack.” “I no yike the blanket.” The one you have refused to sleep without for the last 20 months? “I no yike it.” “I no yike the bed!” Et cetera, et cetera.
He nearly always tries to pull something at bedtime, now. Bedtime, which has been darn smooth sailing for over a year and a half, is now when Daniel likes to assert himself. “No sleep sack!” “More stories!” “I no yike to lie down!” [Yes, we still use sleep sacks. The times I've let him have his way and not wear the sleep sack are the times that he has skipped his nap. No thanks.] I pretty much ignore all of the bedtime delay tactics, but M has a tendency to get sucked in when Daniel pulls out things like “more hugs, Daddy?” Sucker.
I know that the desire for control is normal for this age. I know that they are having this sudden realization that the world is kind of big and overwhelming and that they don’t have much control over what goes on. I try to diffuse some of the situations by offering him choices, or letting him think it was his idea, all along. But I can’t always do that, and it doesn’t always work, so there are a lot of highly dramatic meltdowns with hysterical wailing and giant tears. Man, does it grate on what little patience I have.
Oh, but when he forgets about that struggle for power, he’s so incredibly sweet and funny. The things that he remembers, the phrases he parrots back to you, the stories he tells. He shares with his sister, he asks me to play catch and read a story. He says things like, “it’s de-wicious in my tummy!” He sings songs on demand. He says “thank you” without prompting, and bids farewell to the women at the gym with an enthusiastic “have a good day, lady! See you later!” He really is just about the sweetest boy you have ever met.
When he forgets.
Perfect description of the 2s! I feel like the whole year I learned how to pick my battles and how to give in to let them have more independence. Doesn’t make it any easier though.
I also wanted to comment that we’ve had some massive 3 year old tantrums going at bedtime bc the boys don’t want to go to bed. I used your sticker method – if you don’t cry or argue the whole way through the routine you get a sticker for your door – and it worked like magic.
I forgot one of his biggest control things. Especially when both parents are around, he’s very into dictating who does what for him. “No, Mommy clean the diaper!” “No, Daddy do the seat belt!” Sometimes he gets in a mood where he doesn’t want *me* to do anything. He’ll ask other (random) moms on the playground to push him on the swing, or insist that Rebecca be the one to get him out of his crib in the morning. Um…. not so realistic, buddy.
Oh boy! Check out the giant sized tantrum happening behind Daniel in the 4th picture. Hopefully your kids won’t get any ideas from that little girl. She is pissed!
.-= Emily´s last blog ..Hellooooo? Is this thing on? =-.
I am going to have to use some of those tactics next time I don’t want to go to work… “First I watch Today Show” & “I no yike work!”
Great, great post – it actually made me a little teary-eyed. I feel you on the waning patience but man, it is awesome to see them grow up.
.-= Mommy, Esq.´s last blog ..Pumpkin Picking =-.
I am so with you on this one. In our case it is Bree that is running the show. She is huge on the bedtime delay tactic (“I want leche” “I want more stories” “I want different blanket” and on and on and on). She is also the queen of dictating who does what for her. And in our case, it is almost always me that she wants. So much for letting her dad have a turn at diaper changes! It can be frustrating, but then they are so sweet so it kind of makes you forget about the other stuff…at least for a minute.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..House Hunters =-.
I no yike tantrums.
I love the photos, he is such a little man. I remember those days so well. Jackson was big on the dictating to Rick and I when we were both around. Such a fun age, but very challenging also!
Ah! Memories! I have a Daniel of my own and, I’m almost afraid to say it – He has just come up with more sophisticated delay/tantrum tactics!
I wish I could say I didn’t know what you were talking about, but we’re going through the same thing here! It’s a good thing they’re cute, isn’t it??
.-= Beverly´s last blog ..From the Beach to the "Ginkin" Patch =-.