You remember how, just a few weeks ago, I talked about what a challenging phase Daniel was going through?  I wrote about it on HDYDI, too, how I feel crappy to have times when I prefer one kid over the other.

And, as predicted, they have now done the great twin personality switcheroo.

This is not to say they are suddenly fundamentally different kids, of course.  But the dial has been turned up on one and down on the other.  Daniel seems to now be spending more time as his happy, silly, engaging self.

Rebecca, on the other hand…. Hoo, boy.

The girl has always been capable of epic tantrums, even at two days old.  Much of the time, she’s fairly even.  Independent, easily entertained, pretty chill.  Until the RAGE reappears.  OMG, the RAGE.

The RAGE has been making extraordinarily frequent appearances as of the last week or so.  This morning she had her first tantrum before getting out of bed.  There was not really a marked improvement for the rest of the day.

Her tantrums seem to have a subtly different underlying theme than Daniel’s.  His was all about grasping control over his environment, over other people.  Rebecca’s fits are nearly all set off by something having to do with “Becca do it by self.”  It’s all about independence.  In a way, that is still in the same theme as “control,” but a slightly different side.

And, yes, before you even say it… I know she totally gets this from me.

Naturally, she and I are butting heads in a major way right now.  I try to pick my battles. I try to let her do the things that she is capable of doing, and try things that she probably can’t do.  But she gets set off at the drop of a hat.  I so much as look at her the wrong way at the wrong time and it’s all over. I spend a lot of time ignoring her and hanging out with Daniel when she’s in the middle of a screaming fit.  But sometimes we just need to get out the door and in the car, and she is just not having it.  Yeesh.

One way in which I’m grateful for having twins is the way they do seem to alternate a lot of these phases.  It helps to know that it will pass.  That my sweet kid will come back, and that they’ll likely trade places again, so I don’t have to feel too guilty about the fact that I’d rather spend time with one over the other at times like these.

In the meantime, she still has her shining moments of funny phrases and expressions that she’s picked up from me and M.  She initiates games with her brother, she gives hugs and kisses to the dog (and everything else), and tucks her “friends” (stuffed animals) into bed.  She has that perfect toddler giggle fit down pat.

But she has also mastered the phrase “No, Mommy!  Leave it alone!”

So, you know, I’ll just have to put my head down and get through the rest of this phase.  Good times.

Tags: control, independence, tantrums

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 9:48 pm and is filed under Behavior, Child Development, Toddlers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.