That is the question.
Please indulge me with a little over-dramatic hand-wringing over this whole preschool thing.
So, I visited three local preschools last week. One more “traditional” preschool, which several friends have sent their kids to, and two Montessori schools (I’ll just call them “Hometown” and “Nexttown”). Those were the three I found that were most accessible to our house, as I nixed anything that was more than about a 10 minute drive. There are another handful of daycare/preschool centers in the area, but I decided to stick with more of a straight preschool setting.
Traditional Preschool was just fine. Nice classrooms, nice people. Three days a week, very reasonable tuition with a generous (25%!) sibling discount. But… I didn’t love it. And they managed to hit two personal pet peeves in our 20 minute visit. 1: a little too much on the twin-fascination thing. 2: is it really necessary to talk to my (Jewish, not that they knew that) kids about Santa coming to visit? Twice? In 20 minutes? On December first? Obviously, that would not be a problem for some people, but it was for me. I mean, honestly. Maybe think to ask me, first? I don’t know. It bugged me.
Hometown Montessori was the second place I visited. I have always thought the whole Montessori method was a pretty cool one, so I was eager to check it out. And I left that open house… underwhelmed. The materials and philosophy were nice and all (I appreciated the lack of Dora the Explorer in the classroom, frankly), but the teachers were actually somewhat off-putting. The school’s director and lead teacher struck me as rigid and somewhat cold. And while I know that Montessori classrooms aren’t as teacher-centric as others, I still want a preschool teacher for my kids who is warm and welcoming. Not pissed that the state no longer allows preschools to deny entrance based on a lack of potty training. (Seriously, she seemed pretty cranky about that.) Like I said, underwhelmed with the whole thing.
And then I went to Nexttown Montessori. The two administrators greeted me kindly at the door and remembered my name from my phone call earlier in the week. The three teachers have all been there the better part of 20 years and were friendly and spoke warmly of their students, the school, and the gorgeous new building. I just got an awesome vibe. The vibe I had been missing from the other places I visited. The classrooms are bright and airy, the outdoor play area has two beautiful swingsets and a small hill where they let the kids slide down in the snow. The three classrooms are each mixed-age (3-6), and the kids stay with the same teacher for all three years (preschool, pre-k, kindergarten). The rooms had standard Montessori materials, but each also felt personal and interesting.
So, what’s the problem here?
1. Price. Both Montessori schools are expensive, with beloved Nexttown being the most expensive. Even controlling for hours per week, it’s close to twice as expensive as Traditional Preschool.
2. Speaking of hours per week… it’s five days. As most Montessori programs are. Still only 3 hours a day, but five days a week.
Honestly, the money is a big factor, but we wouldn’t send ourselves into the poorhouse by paying preschool tuition. If we decide we love it, we can make the money happen. That’s not my biggest area of concern.
My bigger sticking point is just that five days seems like a lot. Especially if they’re still taking an afternoon nap, there goes almost the whole day, all week. Am I ready to send my kids to school every day? Already? Am I ready to stop doing things like gymnastics with them? Well, who am I kidding, once they’re 3, I don’t do the class with them anymore, anyways. But still. it’s a big transition, you know? It’s a lot of days. And I chose to stay at home with them for a reason: so I could be there and spend time with them. Is it time to cut back on that already?
Also, the structure of the classrooms is such that they would be split up into separate rooms (unless I really insisted otherwise) from the beginning. In my mind’s eye, I had imagined keeping them together in preschool and not separating until elementary school. That said, I actually think they’d benefit in the end, even if the transition was a little harder. Especially Rebecca, who I think tends to get a little overshadowed by her more-outgoing brother in new situations.
I really do dig the curriculum/philosophy. I love the mixed-age classrooms. I think Rebecca would love the independence and choice. I think Daniel would do well with all of the hands-on tactile learning (the boy has to touch EVERYTHING). I love that it’s a situation that really takes advantage of the fact that they’re such incredible sponges at this age, that they can learn so much in such a low-pressure environment.
But… I just don’t know. I don’t know if we’re ready. I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if it’s pushing too much at too young an age. Or if I’m just needlessly freaking out.
If you’ve made it this far, please weigh in. I’d especially love to hear from people who have considered or sent their kids to Montessori, or any teachers who have worked with kids either in that program or who have come out of it. Feedback, people! I need feedback!
you should read this back to yourself in a couple of days because to me, it already sounds like you know what you want to do
I think that if you’re not 100% sure you should wait. How much time do you have to decide? I think you’ll know when it’s time and when it’s the right place. Good luck!
My daughter is 3 and has attended a Montessori school since the beginning of August. She has learned and matured so much in such a short space of time. Not mature in a ‘oh my baby is gone’ way but in a more self-assured, self-away way. Montessori teaches children how to learn for themselves, not regurgitate and forget.
Each child is different. Some children do very well in Montessori – especially boys. It sounds like traditional school or the expensive Montessori. Can you apply for financial aid? You might be surprised at the funds available, even to ‘wealthy’ families.
.-= WidneyWoman´s last blog ..Knowing Me, Knowing You – Dec ’09 =-.
@Marci – You may be right, but I’d like to be more solid in the decision.
@Darrah – Trouble is, if I wait much longer, the spaces disappear. Thankfully, I can put in the application with minimal commitment.
I honestly don’t think 5 days is that big a deal. I really didn’t think I’d want my girls going 4 days a week. I was originally looking at just 2, but the consistency of going 4 days in a row has really helped them transition to the school setting. Granted my girls stopped napping long before enrolling in preschool, so that may color my judgment, but I’d jump at 5 days at the Montessori if we could afford it.
.-= Rhonda´s last blog ..Cooking with Dad =-.
I’m going to tell you two disparate things here, so hold on to your hat.
First, you know I sent my kids to the traditional preschool you visited and I liked it, but didn’t love it. Especially now that I have my boys in a new preschool this year that is absolutely phenomenal…wish you lived out this way (since it’s even LESS expensive than where they went last year
I felt like it gave my kids a perfectly good introduction to the school experience and they both enjoyed it. Even my clingy, shy boy quickly warmed up to going there, so that’s a huge plus in its favor. But I was never happy with their (lack of) communication with parents, though that is at least half my new-parent-didn’t-know-better fault, so if you go there, I’d recommend staying on top of them about getting more frequent communications about what they’ve been doing/strengths/weaknesses of your kids/what you can work on at home to complement their school work. Also, I found their curriculum adequate, but not really exciting or innovative. For those reasons, I’d lean toward the Montessori.
HOWEVER, I don’t know your $ situation. We couldn’t afford the Montessori, so it was off the table for us. But if you’re going to have to scrimp and save for the next 3 years…well, keep in mind it’s just preschool! What should preschool give your kids? An positive intro to a school environment, the basics of the social skills needed for school, and some focused work on age-appropriate skills (fine motor, gross motor, independence, letter recognition, etc). My kids got all that at the traditional school. I feel like I was able to supplement their education just fine. In fact, when my kids started falling behind in fine motor skills, I did a google search and set up some of my own Montessori activities! Knowing you, I think you’d be perfectly capable (and excited about) providing more education-focused activities for your kids.
And boy, that money you saved could go right into a college fund…
I don’t know…I’m no help. I realize my advice was “go with the Montessori” and “go with the traditional”
I usually find in my life that when I can make compelling arguments for both sides, it usually means either choice will be just fine. I suspect that’s the situation you’re in now…both have different strengths and weaknesses, but either would probably work out okay for you. Good luck!
.-= WhatACard´s last blog ..A grand year =-.
It sounsd like you want to go with Montessori but the most important thing for your kids is you – and I think I would lean toward a 3 day program for that reason. Are most of the kids in Montessori with stay at home moms or do they go to aftercare? I am probably going to go with the preschool 30 feet from my house for convenience (you can pick number of days (and length) you want because it is a daycare/preschool). I like the idea of sending them to a “feeder” preschool but honestly paying for private elementary school is out of the question. As long as it is an encouraging and loving space I worry a lot less about what they are learning – plenty of time for that! You’ll make the decision that will work out fine for everyone but don’t discount the $!
.-= Mommy, Esq.´s last blog ..WARNING: You Must Be Sitting Down to Read This Post =-.
I’ll throw in my opinion as a long-term day care mom and having lots of long-term day care mom friends. The MOST important factor in deciding where to send your kids is your gut feel. If you have any doubts about other places, those are just going to get amplified and/or work themselves out.
We visited a ton of different places and the place where the boys are now, when we walked in it just felt right. It felt like a place where they would be loved and that they would love. There were some things that concerned me (ratio of 4:1 in baby room instead of my preferred 3:1) but I would make the same decision in a heart beat. The vibe that I felt when I walked in is the same vibe I feel 3+ years later. They all genuinely care about my kids and have seen them grow up.
The only reason we don’t do Montessori is none of the montessori schools around us are set up for working parents. They all have strict drop off and pick up times, work on the school year schedule (teacher in-service, two weeks off at xmas,etc) and they have much stricter illness policies.
I’d also say only visiting 3 schools is a small number, particularly if you are trying to get into a part time place. I think if you’re on the fence, it might be worth checking out some other options to see if there are some 3 day options where you feel the same vibe.
As for the concern about 5 day versus 3 day, it’s only 15 hours a week they would be away. And that educational time means you don’t need to worry as much about educational experiences when they are at home. You’d still have time with them in the morning and time with them in the afternoon. And you could use those 15 hours to do things to reduce your other expenses, or sew more quilts for sale, etc.
Hard decision!
.-= LauraC´s last blog ..Case boys, the ultimate product testers =-.
We are right with you in this decision making process. It is such a difficult decision. I think we have decided to go with a more traditional pre-school that is a little farther from our house because it feels like the best environment for the kids. We were also considering a Catholic pre-school (we are Catholic), but it is five days a week and I just don’t feel like I want to send the kids five days a week yet. I am not home with them (we have a nanny), but I think that might be a little much at 3, especially since they haven’t been in any school or day care up to this point. They haven’t even gone to mother’s day out or anything. Heck, we haven’t even taken them to day care at the gym. So, I am just a little worried about going from nothing to full time over night. So, I think we are going to go with 2-3 days a week for now.
That being said, I agree with Laura that you have to go with your gut. You know your kids and what they can handle and what will be the best for them. I know it is a hard decision, but ultimately, you have to do what you think is best and I am sure it will all work out fine!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Catching Up =-.
I know I am way behind on this one but IMO, 5 days a week is not as big a deal as it seems. I worked in a preschool that did 3-5 year olds and I think the kids got a lot out of the consistency of going to school 5 days a week. Of course, there are those other factors like money to consider (a VERY big factor, I think, considering its only preschool), but if its just the number of days that’s keeping you from choosing this school, I would say go for it.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..H1N1 Bullshit =-.
Hmmm, interesting dilemma! I’m hoping to get my kiddos the hell off this island before they’re old enough for daycare- minimal choices here.
So I don’t really know anything- BUT- 5 days does seem like a lot for a super hands-on rockstar SAHM like yourself. I’d lean towards the 3 day. Then again, maybe I’m just a little wary of the whole montessori scene. I like my pre-schools (and life) a bit more free-wheelin’ and reasonably priced
.-= jungletwins´s last blog ..Junglemom’s Do’s and Don’ts for traveling 5000+ miles with toddler twins =-.
We actually just enrolled our girls in a montessori program, but they will be going full time, while I work. If I had the opportunity to be home with them more, I wouldn’t be quite as concerned that they were getting what seemed to us to be the very best option for five-day-a-week, full-time care besides me.
I agree with Laura that you should probably visit more places. For one thing it will broaden your perspective of options, and it may make it more clear what does or doesn’t stand out about these individual places.
.-= Lisa´s last blog .. =-.
We put our twins in a Montesorri full day daycare when they were 2 years old – they moved up to a 3 year to 6 year classroom when they were just over 2-1/2 years old.
LOVED LOVED LOVED it. I was amazed at how the bigger kids helped the little kids and how well it all “flowed”. My children were in control of themselves and learned that so quickly. Our first school was considered a “modified” Montesori – it had loving, caring teacher, warm atmosphere. It was just the best (sad we had to leave it when we moved to Colorado – my kids still ask to go visit it when we go back to Kansas).
When we moved to Colorado, hubby decided to stay home and do contract work part-time. No part-time Montessori schools, so we did a traditional “preschool”. The kids learned – but I don’t think that their knowledge advanced as much as it would have in the Montessori program (I believe she would have been reading around 4-1/2 years in Montessori – she started at 5-1/2 instead.)
We also separated our twins. They had recess outside at the same time, so it was a good time for them to see each other and have that connection without the overpowering twin thing (it’s Morgan for us).
Good luck!
.-= Stacy´s last blog ..Prematurity Awareness Day =-.
Hmmm….maybe you haven’t found the right place for you yet. Any particular reason you decided not to visit daycare/preschools? They might offer the curriculum/part-time mix you want. Emilia has gone to The Goddard School (an owner-operated chain) in our neck of the woods since she was 14 months 2-3 full days a week (9:00-5:30); we take her out for a month during the winter holiday and three months during summer. They are extremely accommodating in that respect. I’d say it’s somewhere between “traditional” and Montessori. The teachers are all fabulous; she loves, loves, loves it.
I would not suggest visiting places that are 30 minutes away, but are there other options in the area you could consider?
.-= Tara´s last blog ..Emilia Turns Three (and other November Highlights) =-.
I guess my question is: where are you planning on sending them to kindergarten/elementary school? Private or public? I ask because if in your mind’s eye they’re going to head on over to your town’s public school, the traditional preschool would probably offer an easier transition. If you’re planning on keeping them in Montessori (or a similar private school) for the long-haul, there’s your decision.
I went to a private school from preschool through 2nd grade and entered the public system in the 3rd grade. (The teachers got divorced and the school closed.) I transitioned okay – but only because I knew a few kids from church and swim team…and I suppose my personality was one that helped make friends easily. My older sister, however, did NOT transition quite as easily (and quite frankly, is still scarred – at least in my opinion
)
The toughest part of the transition was that it was WAY more structured and there were grades to aim for and all sorts of stuff. In private school, you went at your own pace and got sent out to recess when the teachers thought things were getting too rowdy.
ANYWAY – my point is, keep in mind your entire school structure thought for the easiest transition later on.
.-= Nancy´s last blog ..My New Diet Plan =-.
I have to agree with Nancy that if you go Montessori, you should consider how long you will want them there. Sometimes, if you switch children who attend Montessori to a traditional school before 5th grade, some will have a difficult time meeting the requirements of the new, traditional school. I am wrestling with the same questions myself. I love the Montessori school here, but am not sure when I would transfer her to a private school since the Montessori goes just to 8th grade. I would want to transfer her well before then, and preferably in that window when she won’t be traumatized and could transition into a traditional school without too much lag time. I also agree with Laura to visit more schools and listen to your gut. We have visited 4 schools and have about 4 or 5 more to tour. Keep us posted.
Decisions like these are so tough. You seem to know what you want (A Montessori-like school close to your house that your kids can attend 2-3 days a week?), but that option isn’t available. So, I guess if I were in your shoes, I’d start to think hard about which thing to give up- the educational philosophy, the distance factor, or the number of days per week. Maybe if you can figure out what is non-negotiable for you, you’ll have your answer.
While none of this advice is new- I also would recommend broadening your search to see if maybe there is another school out there that would be a good match based on your desires. You could always loosely commit to one you’ve already seen if you’re worried about losing your spots (is the penalty stiff if you back out later?). And yes, if you like the Montessori idea, think carefully about how long you plan to have your kids there. As a former elementary school teacher, I can attest to the fact that some kids (and parents) do have a tough time with the transition to public school after participating in a Montessori program. That’s not to say that Montessori for pre-school only isn’t a good idea, but just something to think about.
Good luck with your decision making process!
.-= reanbean´s last blog ..Oh Where Oh Where Have the Boy Baby Dolls Gone? =-.
We have three year old twins, too! We’ve chosen not to put our boys in preschool yet, but I’d choose the Montessori place down the street if we did. I’ve heard wonderful things about it – particularly the emphasis on self-discipline/control and the more calm classroom atmosphere. I also LOVE the concept of different age groups being together – feels more natural to me.
(and BTW, where did you get your Twitter widget? it’s so much more read-able than mine!)
.-= SeaBird´s last blog ..Pumpkin Bread Men! =-.
I would be curious to know what your town/city has for a public school pre-school. I’m sure a lot of your M.O.T.s know that towns have to provide some kind of E.I option for kids with need and will have a preschool that also includes typical role models. That would be my first choice either in the town I live or in the town I teach (which I believe is where your next town Montessori might be)
My reason being the curriculum will be top notch because it aligns with what we have in K, 1, 2 etc. Also those teachers are people with B.A.s and M.A.s and are fairly compensated (a lot of preschool teachers make bupkus)
A fellow teacher’s son just finished two years at public preschool- he only did 3 half days. She was amazed by the math and phonics awareness he gained. He’s doing great in K. I’m not against Montesorri- but I would only really consider it for Pre-K.
A very hard decision, Liz! I don’t have time right now to read through all of the other comments already, so I’m sure I’m repeating what’s been said. Seems to me like your heart is set on Nexttown Montessori, and for good reason. I do feel like 5 days a week is a lot to commit to right off the bat, though, because it’s impossible to tell how Daniel and Rebecca will react to going to school five days a week ahead of time. Would you consider doing the Traditional Preschool 3x/week for a semester (or a year), and then enrolling them in the 5-day montessori when they’re 4?
.-= Beverly´s last blog ..Countdown to Christmas =-.
Hello Goddess in Progress! My first time visiting your blog and I related to this post so much. I’ve barely blogged about the preschool touring/choosing process because it’s just been so huge, I can hardly articulate it. Also, I foolishly put my url in a few of my emails to schools so now I’m worried about who might be looking. (Sigh)
I’ve been torn about play vs. montessori, and about large vs. small. What it seems to have come down to for me (knock on wood — we made a decision today and I hope it sticks but you never know until you sleep on it, you know?) is how comfortable I felt at the school, how warm and loving the teachers were, and how quickly they seemed to “get” my kid. Also, in observing him at my two top choice schools (one small-ish montessori, one large-ish reggio-based), while he enjoyed both places and could be happy at either, I felt that there was one where he seemed more at ease, more able to shine.
Maybe I’ll blog this experience soon? Good luck on your decision! I’ll look forward to hearing how it comes out for you!
.-= julie @ the calm before the stork´s last blog ..hannukahfied: post-party wrap up =-.