More answers to your questions and a few thoughts on finding out I was having “just one” this time.
Did you secretly hope it was twins?
Did you convince yourself there were two, just in case?
Are you excited to be pregnant with just one?
Any differences in the pregnancy so far?
Before I was actually pregnant, I will admit that there was a small part of me that secretly wanted a second set of twins. More as a theoretical thing, not so much reality. And, truth be told, I might have liked another pair for the baby’s sake. I think what my older kids have is so incredibly cool, I’m almost sad for my singleton that he/she won’t have that. And yes, I do worry a little bit that the little one might feel left out when the older kids are doing their “twin thing.” But I think that’s just as much of a concern with their age difference as it is with the twin-ness versus single-ness.
But for my sake? I only wanted one. As my 8-week ultrasound approached, I worked myself into a total panic. My friend R can attest to that, as she kindly let me drop my kids off at her house so I could go to the appointment without them. I could barely talk to her at all. While my history of miscarriage had me afraid of getting the news that something was wrong, I can say I was equally petrified of seeing two. The reality of having to go through that first 3 (18?) months with twins again smacked me in the face. Obviously, I’d do it. I already know I can. But man, I sure would rather not. I so wanted the experience of a single baby. So portable, so flexible. And I can carry him/her and still have another hand! Fancy that! There was maybe 1% disappointed when the ultrasound tech looked around and pronounced that there was just one. 99% was utterly relieved.
So yes, I’m pretty darn excited to be pregnant with “just one,” and am especially looking forward to having “just one” newborn. I mean, I know. Newborns are not easy. They’re up at all hours, in what my friend KathyB so aptly called the “newborn casino.” You have no idea what time it is, and frankly, it hardly matters. I have to make another attempt at getting breastfeeding to work. I will be physically and sometimes emotionally exhausted. I acknowledge this. But still. It’s JUST ONE. Wow. Throw that kid in a carrier and off we go. I’m glad that I became a MOT on the first try for a great number of reasons, but I think I am especially grateful for the fact that I can recognize the easier parts for what they are. When you’re a first-timer, especially of two, you don’t think about how surprisingly flexible those first weeks are. No nap schedule, they fall asleep easily in the carseat, all they really want is to nurse. Now? Now I can see the benefits of that age and intend to take advantage of them while I can.
Back to the present moment, I’m noticing only minor differences so far between this pregnancy and the last. I think my first trimester was pretty similar – I was never nauseous, was always tired. I suppose it’s possible I was, somehow, more tired last time. But if that’s the case, it’s not a noticeable/memorable difference. I was pretty damn tired around week 11, regardless. I noticed my pants getting tighter around the same time, maybe 9 weeks, and also started wearing maternity pants around the same time, about 12 weeks. But while part of that can be attributed to the fact that many people report “showing” earlier with their second pregnancy, I think just as much of it is that I already knew the joys of maternity pants and saw no reason to put off making the switch. Aaaaahhh, elastic… Frankly, though, I can tell I’m not growing at nearly the exponential rate I was last time. Still putting on weight, sadly, but that’s more to do with my total lack of willpower to control my food intake while pregnant. Whatever, I’ll deal with that next April.
I can see other noticeable differences coming, especially with regard to how I’m treated at the OB’s office. No level-II ultrasounds. No maternal-fetal-medicine specialist visits at the hospital. Hell, it’s just ONE 19-week ultrasound in the office across the hall, and that may be it for the duration. Really? Last time I had nearly 20 ultrasounds, and they were nearly all at the hospital. It’s weird to be so low-risk.
There you have it, the round-up on my feelings thus far on one as compared to two. I’m sure there will be plenty more as time goes by!
Yeah, I imagine the whole prenatal care will be different. I think it might drive me crazy not having such frequent updates of measurements. Thanks for shareing so much with us!
-Liz
My OBs had an u/s in the examining room so I had a lot of those and really enjoyed them. But you’re so right about the portability thing – I didn’t know how awesome that had been until it was over and much as I loved having a kid that took decent naps and had no aversion to sleeping in her crib (it was her favorite place to nap in fact), I missed the freedom I had once had but didn’t know it though frankly I felt so awful in the beginning I’m not sure I would’ve enjoyed myself anyway. I def would’ve healed faster had I been able to go home instead of to my in-laws, stupid kitchen remodel, grumble. Not breastfeeding was my sanity savior, but I know some people have terrific experiences with it so I hope it works out for you this time around! And you know, if you don’t want your youngest to feel left out, you can always go for a 4th and give him/her a playmate of his own =) I’m sure M would love that!
Thanks for sharing. Can I admit that part of the reason that I don’t want more biological kids is that I’m afraid they won’t be multiples? Does that make me a psycho?
Sadia recently posted..Overheard 47- Quantification
can I just say hooray for low-risk pregnancies?! And for having an extra hand because you have a baby not babies? I found nursing challenging with my second, just because my first still wanted so much attention. BUT…it was doable. For awhile. April is kind of around the corner, Liz. A mom of three. That is so cool!
Kami recently posted..We Can Get Down- We Can We Can Get Down
I was in shock when I realized that my sister has only had three ultrasounds, with one more possible before the baby is born. She’s never really done fetal mo itoring or any of that.
Brought home to me just how high-risk both of my pregnancies were. I kind of took for granted the whole monthly/bi-weekly ultrasounds along with MFM visits, and all other sorts of stuff. I had assumed it was advanced maternal age that did it, but she’s the same age I was when I had Ben, so it really was the trifecta that I bring to pregnancy.
My OB was always pathetically grateful that I was never pregnant with twins. As hard as we fought to get me to delivery (and through it) both times, he’s always said, if either had been twins instead of singles, he would have re-earned his high-risk specialist title through me.
just a thought on the little one being left out when the oldern kids do their “twin thing”: you *may* find that the little one forms a great bond with their same-gendered sibling. Yes, R&D will always have a special bond, but there is also something to be said for a sister-to-sister bond or a brother-to-brother bond. I think that’s why I was so upset to find out Brett was going to be a boy. Aaron and Brady had the twin thing AND the brother thing…. Alaina, on the other hand, could have used another sibling on her “team”.
Also, there is a LOT of truth to your theory about throwing that kid in a carrier and being on your way. A singleton after twins makes you feel pretty darn free
You are just so awesome (and love your honey’s post). Hope you are doing good and feeling good. Would love to get your thoughts on fears of handling a newborn and toddlers. It is one thing to do the nights, fun outings with one, but with toddlers in the mix? One of the reasons I may be nixing #2.
Hugs