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At least it was justified

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· February 10th, 2013

The one thing I kept saying, after rebooking our flight home, was that this storm had better be pretty freaking spectacular. If I had come home and the storm had gone out to sea and only given us a couple of inches, I was gonna be PISSED.

Yeah. Not so much.

Schools were closed on Friday, despite the fact that the snow didn’t start to fall until 10AM and at sunset we only had maybe 3 inches. But the storm was only getting started. Public transportation in Boston was shut down at 3:30PM. The governor issued an emergency ban on road travel starting at 4PM. After nightfall, the snow fell heavier and the winds got stronger. By Saturday morning, my yard had a solid 20 inches, with windblown drifts even deeper. It was, for reference, approximately one Ellie deep.

Saturday was still windy and frigid, but Sunday was sunny and not nearly as cold. The roads were narrow and a little slippery, but plowed and passable and the travel ban had been lifted. My sister-in-law and her husband escaped the city for a visit and built a little sledding hill in the yard for the kids. They were out there for ages, enjoying the snow.

When we don’t have to be anywhere, and we don’t lose power, I actually love a big snowstorm. I enjoy winter, I don’t mind the cold. Of course, I also wasn’t the one who had to dig us out…

All in all, though, a successful ride through the blizzard for us. Now, if they would just quit canceling school…

Comments (1)

Categories : Family, Home

Tags : blizzard, nemo, snow

Eff you, Nemo

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (5)· February 8th, 2013

I should be in Disney World right now. The most magical goddamn place on earth. Instead, I am in my drafty house, filling up the gas tank for the snowblower, hunkering down for a freaking blizzard.

So, hi! How are you?

We were in Disney World this week. We left last Saturday. It had been planned for months – a big family trip courtesy of my dad, fifteen or sixteen of us in all. We didn’t tell the kids until we were on the bus to the resort. My dad and brother had conference stuff going on the first few days, but that was fine. We had M’s parents drive up from South Florida to babysit Ellie so that he and I could go nuts in the parks with the kids. And boy, did we. Teacups. Characters. Freaking Jedi Academy.

My in-laws left Tuesday night, so Wednesday onward was all set for Big Group Family Time. Between the four of us siblings, we live in four different states, so together time is rare. But good times were to be had by all. A fancy private breakfast with none other than Cinderella herself. Rides with cousins for hours. Happy grandparents.

And then, on the way back to our hotel after a long, fun day, I started to hear about some snow forecast for Boston. A blizzard. Two feet of snow between Friday and Saturday. When was our return flight scheduled? Saturday afternoon.

I quickly realized that there was no earthly way we were going to make it home on Saturday. And that I needed to call and reschedule ASAP instead of getting stuck at the airport with three kids. And while extra days at Disney sound nice, the logistics of being away an extra 3-4 days just seemed like too much. Not to mention the fact that, once we did get home, we’d never get into our driveway with two feet of snow in it. As much as it sucks, we decided we had to leave early. I called the airline to re-book us on a Thursday night flight, so we could get at least one more morning in the parks to do a final hurrah.

In the 30 minutes I was on the phone, everything was booked. My only option, sitting there at 5pm on Wednesday, was 8:15am on Thursday.

I made the reservation change and promptly burst into tears. I was upset at having to leave early, having to abruptly drop everything and go, not knowing that afternoon was our last day. I felt awful for my dad, who was so excited to have us all together and had been looking forward to it for ages. I felt shitty for all of the times I said “not now” in the gift shops, fully intending to go souvenir shopping later in the week. All of a sudden, we had about two hours before bedtime and then a 5:00am wake-up call to get to the airport.

Just so we could be home in time for a freaking blizzard, that they have so helpfully named Nemo. (WTF is up with naming winter storms, now?)

But my pity party needs to be done. My family understood what we had to do, they knew it was the right decision. And as bummed as I am to miss out on more days, we thankfully can say that we milked every little bit out of the ones we had, and I am hard-pressed to think of something we wanted to do that we didn’t make happen. It was a huge bummer to end it like that, and I hate that we didn’t get more time with my dad, but I can’t let that set the tone for what was otherwise a great trip. There was wonder and excitement, there was family time big and small. There was magic. Totally worth it.

Comments (5)

Categories : Family, Travel

Tags : blizzard, disney world

20 hours in New York

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)· November 24th, 2012

Empire State Building,

diner and a museum,

riding in taxis.

At about 10:30 on Thursday night, M and I got to talking. He pointed out the perfect alignment of the stars – a long weekend without work or school, his mom among the few people willing and able to take care of Ellie for an extended period of time. We wanted to do something fun with just the big kids. They’ve both been showing signs recently that they wanted and needed some more attention from us. This was our chance. But what to do? We wanted it to be more than just an hour or two at the aquarium or the Children’s Museum. We wanted to do something special.

And so, 12 hours after we got the idea into our heads, we packed the four of us into the car and drove south to New York City.

We didn’t really have plans. I made the hotel reservation about 20 minutes before we left. We checked attraction hours on my phone somewhere in the middle of Connecticut while the kids watched a movie in the back seat.

We ended up grabbing an early (by New York standards) dinner, and then started walking towards the Empire State Building. As luck would have it, we passed by the Lord & Taylor window displays on the way, and Rebecca insisted I take her picture with each of them.

We went up to the observation deck at the 86th floor of the Empire State Building (did you know it’s open until 2AM?), and it was a clear night to see all of the city lights below us. The kids didn’t last long, so we grabbed a taxi back to the hotel and crashed. The late night didn’t exactly mean the kids slept in the next morning, but oh well.

We had breakfast with friends, and then met M’s cousin for a trip to the Museum of Natural History. We found out how much we’d weigh on the moon, talked about the Big Bang, and checked out the marine life and the dinosaurs.

By 12:30, both kids were pooped and ready to go. And so, without a regret, we got in the car and made our way back to New England. (With a stop at M’s favorite Connecticut fast food establishment for a late hot dog lunch.)

With no offense whatsoever to our beloved Ellie, it was so incredibly refreshing and easy to do this little jaunt without a toddler in tow. We weren’t dragging a little one to things she’d hate, we weren’t spending our time and energy and attention to keep her from screaming. We could do whatever Daniel and Rebecca wanted to do, and stop when they were ready to stop. We could listen to their stories and jokes and questions without having one hand and both eyes on their little sister. It was really, really nice to be able to give the big kids about as much undivided attention as they could possibly want.

I’m not going to pretend that we had 24 hours completely free of whining and arguing, nor am I naive enough to suggest that this one day will solve any and all of our woes. But it was fun and surprisingly relaxing, and I hope it was a really special experience for the five-year-old crew. I’m happy we didn’t try to push anyone to do more or stay longer – this felt like we left while we were still having a good time, before anyone could fall apart. I’m putting it in the win column, for sure.

Comments (4)

Categories : Family, Travel

Tags : haiku, New York

A lightbulb moment, unfortunately

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (12)· November 18th, 2012

He asks, “Mommy, why

aren’t your mom and dad married

to each other?” Oof.

Five years, three months, and two weeks. That’s how long it took for one of my kids to ask about my parents’ divorce. Just to make it more interesting, he asked me completely out of the blue, while putting on his jacket to walk out the door, with my dad. No, that’s not awkward at all, why do you ask?

My stomach lurched. I didn’t want to blow off the question, but I really wasn’t going to get into it at that moment. I think I said something like, “you know, buddy, that is an excellent question, but it’s a little complicated. I’ll have to tell you about it later.” And out they went to miniature golf.

They’ve always known the variety of their grandparents, who lives with whom, and which two are my mom and dad. But suddenly, he realized something was amiss. How do all of these things fit together? I am sure that the responsible thing to do is to get proactive about this. He’s made the connection, it’s going to come back up. I probably shouldn’t wait for him to ask again and catch me off guard, but try to sit down and explain it as best I can.

So, how the hell do I do that? How do I explain divorce without giving my kids an anxiety attack? I mean, I know I can’t protect them from all discomfort. That dealing with discomfort and uncertainty is just one of those things you have to learn. But ugh, I’m still dreading it.

Any advice from people who have already had this conversation?

Comments (12)

Categories : Family

Tags : divorce, grandparents, haiku, kids

Grandparents Galore

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· November 14th, 2012

My mom left Monday.

In-laws arrive tomorrow.

My dad, on Friday.

M and I decided that we need to back off on the amount that we travel as a family. It’s crazy expensive, crazy stressful, and crazy difficult right now with a busy toddler who will not be entertained for more than 30 seconds at a time. Not to mention five-year-olds who have school and a variety of other commitments. Not that it’s the end of the world if we miss a day of gymnastics or karate, but they are signed up and we have paid a not-inconsequential amount of money for these activities, so I’d rather not just skip out on them all the time.

Anyways, all of our parents are either retired or close-enough to it. They have more flexible schedules and fewer plane tickets to buy. They can come visit us any old time.

Trouble is, they all apparently decided to take us up on that offer at the same time. And while my mom only stayed for about five days and my dad will be here for two, my in-laws will be “up North” for four weeks.

I always believed myself to be a major extrovert, and someone who loves hosting guests. But it turns out that having all of these people in my space (even though none of them are actually staying at our house) is really difficult for me. I don’t know if it’s my inner introvert desperate for some quiet time and personal space, or my not-so-inner control freak getting wigged out by people putting away my kitchen tools in the wrong place. And it’s not particularly fair to my friendly, helpful, well-meaning visitors. They’re just trying to visit and make themselves useful, and I try really hard to be grateful for all of it.

I shall, in the meantime, try not to go completely bonkers.

Comments (1)

Categories : Family, Travel

Tags : grandparents, haiku, visitors

Election Day 2012

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· November 6th, 2012

When I was little

I went to vote with my Dad.

Now, they come with me.

When I was a teenager, one of my stepdad’s sisters told me that, while I might be a Democrat now, I’d grow up and vote Republican. At the time, I was mortally offended, as was easily the case when I was 15 or so. Now, I just shake my head at the thought that I would only consider myself a progressive as a naive kid. That being a liberal was just a phase, that I’d eventually grow out of it.

Not a freaking chance.

I think I wore my first political t-shirt when I was less than a year old. My dad was running a congressional campaign in Illinois, for a man who not only won that race, but later became a federal judge and White House Counsel. I remember stuffing envelopes for a guy running for city alderman when I was about 10. I was heartbroken that I turned 18 one week after a presidential election.

I was going to write a whole long post about why I am a proud Democrat, and why the President got my vote, but I’d rather just send you to read the post of another Liz today, at Mom-101, who said it all more eloquently than I would have.

I talk to my kids about this stuff. We’ve told them who we are voting for, and have in some cases explained why. I will not demonize those who disagree with me, but I will tell my kids what we believe and why. And I will teach them that voting is important. It’s a right, and it’s a responsibility, and we will do it together until they are old enough to do it on their own.

So, I’ll be up late tonight, watching my girl-crush Rachel Maddow on MSNBC. Calling my dad to ask how canvassing went in Colorado this afternoon. Texting with like-minded friends and trying to be civil on Twitter.

See you on the flip side.

Comments (1)

Categories : Family

Tags : haiku, voting, voting with kids

Things I have learned, July 2012 edition

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (7)· July 22nd, 2012

It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks in my world. Short version: we spent a week in Chicago for a family visit and my stepsister’s wedding. We came home for about 48 hours, and then drove up to New Hampshire for a trip to Story Land with friends.

Here, in photos, is what I’ve learned in the last few weeks.

I am capable of flying by myself with all three kids, but having someone help us with luggage on either end is critical.

There are few things in this world cuter than an almost-five-year-old boy in a tuxedo.

Though, an almost-five-year-old girl getting a mani-pedi comes close.

When a makeup artist does your face at 9AM for a 4PM wedding, the makeup will actually stay on. Though, if it’s 85 degrees and 95% humidity, you may want to spend those hours sitting in front of an air conditioning vent.

Rebecca is a dancing fool, and the only thing that pulled her from the dance floor at the reception was the promise of cake. She then fell asleep in the car in under two minutes.

Despite feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck for five days straight, having to brace for the pain every time you swallow, and spiking a fever so high your husband considers taking you to the hospital, you can, in fact, make it through several days of wedding festivities without dying. (Also, renewed sympathy for Ellie, who must have given me this hideous virus. I now understand why she drooled so much for a week – it would have been far preferable to swallowing with the worst sore throat known to man.)

Daniel is nearly incapable of a normal smile in a photograph right now. It’s either dead serious or sticking his tongue out.

Ellie loves stairs, and would like to crawl up them approximately 852 times per day. She’s getting fast.

Even though he did it initially as a joke, I like M’s new goatee. First time in, I believe, his entire adult life that he has experimented with facial hair. I think it’s cute.

Rebecca loves roller coasters, while Daniel prefers water rides.

When trying to get a picture of nine kids aged 5 and under, you’re better off telling them to stick their tongues out than trying to get them all to smile.

Detouring to Maine to see Maria and Laura was an excellent idea, totally worth the summer vacation traffic on the way home. More photos to come…

Are we all caught up, now? Awesome. Starting Ellie with a new feeding therapist in the morning, hopefully will have positive things to say. Later, gators.

Comments (7)

Categories : Family

Happy Father’s Day

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (0)· June 17th, 2012

No, really. I totally remembered to take the fifth consecutive year of DAD photos for Father’s Day. (See years 1, 2, 3, and 4)

Just because I did it THE MORNING OF and still haven’t picked up the prints to put in a frame for M… OK, look, I’m really not as on top of things as I used to be. Can I blame the fact that I have three kids? Sure. Why not. Frankly, I consider it a minor miracle that I got a shot of Ellie smiling with the “A” visible and facing the right way. She only kept it there for about two seconds at a time, mostly it was tossed behind her by the time I got back to the other side of the quilt with my camera. In the meantime, please ignore the bruise on Rebecca’s cheek and the scrape on Daniel’s nose. It’s been a rough-and-tumble phase in this house, what can I say. I’m calling it “documentary realism.” I could also call it “my amateur Photoshop skills would probably only make it look worse, so I should just leave it.”

At any rate, a late-night Happy Father’s Day to all of the literal and honorary dads out there. Most especially the very real one who lives in this house. We love him to pieces, we are grateful for everything he does, and we’re glad he enjoyed his banana bread and apple juice in bed this morning, even though we know he would have rather just stayed asleep for the entire day.

Comments (0)

Categories : Family, Holidays

Tags : father's day

Helping Girl and Ring Barrier

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (6)· May 13th, 2012

It’s not that I really wanted to set my alarm for 5:45am on Mother’s Day. Hell, I don’t want to set it for that hour on any day, much less the day I am supposedly allowed to stay in bed and be lavished with attention (which has yet to happen in my 5 Mother’s Days to date).

But hey, if it means seeing my sister-in-law get married, I’ll do it.

Alright, so the hour was a little ridiculous – I had never before heard of a wedding at 8:00 on a Sunday morning. But the weather was lovely, the location was beautiful, and the event could not be beat.

In part to give them something to do during the ceremony (it’s not like we even had chairs to sit in – there were very literally 10 guests, three of whom were my children), the big kids had jobs to do. Rebecca held onto the bride’s bouquet, a practice run for her job as a “helping girl” (flower girl) at my stepsister’s wedding this summer.

And I was so sad when someone corrected Daniel’s pronunciation – I loved that he called himself the “ring barrier” (burier?) instead of ring bearer. I had visions of him running off and hiding the rings behind some kind of obstacle course. But indeed, both kids completed their jobs honorably.

Me? I was the unofficial wedding photographer. I think I did an acceptable job.

It may have been early, but it was a lovely way to spend a morning. And no matter what, I got to hang out with these knuckleheads. Thanks, my goofy ones, for making me your mom.

Comments (6)

Categories : Family, Holidays

Three minus two

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (11)· August 15th, 2011

To be perfectly honest, having three kids means most days are barely-controlled chaos. I’m sure the nature of that chaos will shift as they all get older. But for now, a lot of the insanity comes from wildly different ages with wildly different needs. I’m in a constant state of compromising one for the other.

This weekend, though, Ellie got a brief taste of being an only child. The big kids went to New Hampshire with my in-laws, and we had a full 72 hours of only one non-mobile (no climbing on things she isn’t supposed to), non-verbal (no whining or backtalk), multi-nap-per-day child.

Holy crap was that easy.

If Ellie really was my only child, I wouldn’t think it was easy at all. I’d bemoan how much your life changes when you have a baby, how you can’t just go out any time you feel like it, how I always have to balance when she needs to be fed and when she needs to sleep. Blah blah blah.

But I have the perspective of having three kids, including two who are nearly done napping and almost never stop talking. So I can enjoy the quiet in my house when the baby takes 2-3 naps during the day, and is out for the night at 6:30PM. I can revel in actually letting the poor kid take a real nap, instead of hoping she’ll sleep in the car as I drag her to preschool gymnastics class. I can laugh about how simple it was to head out for an early dinner, with two adults and one infant. I can finally have an answer to the question I used to ask (mostly in my head) when my twins were infants: “what do parents of one child DO with all that free time?” The answer? Get SO MUCH DONE. We purged the dining room, I nearly finished one quilt and started another. We watched movies and got errands done in what felt like record-setting time.

And when she wasn’t sleeping? I actually COULD spend time just hanging out with her. Lying on my bed while she grabbed the pillows, her lovey, my nose. Talking to her about our plans for the day. Narrating my sewing while she hung out in the bouncy seat. The kind of calm interaction and enjoying of her that I didn’t get to do as much when there were two her size.

Oh, sure, I missed my big kids, and I was glad to have them back at the end of the long weekend. I missed their storytelling and their funny logic and their hugs and kisses (not so much with the whining and backtalk). Truth be told, I’m not a “baby person.” I adore my sweet girl and her smile and her delicious chubby cheeks. But babies aren’t really that much… fun. As crazy as the four-year-olds can make me, I really do love each age more than the last.

But oh, it was a sweet, peaceful weekend. We’ll have to do it again next summer.

Comments (11)

Categories : Family, Infants, Preschoolers

Archive for Family

At least it was justified

Eff you, Nemo

20 hours in New York

A lightbulb moment, unfortunately

Grandparents Galore

Election Day 2012

Things I have learned, July 2012 edition

Happy Father’s Day

Helping Girl and Ring Barrier

Three minus two

Got to pay the bills!

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