2010 is shaping up to be a year of big changes for my kids.  As it is, we’re knee-deep (sometimes almost literally, oy) in potty training.  In September, they start preschool.  We’re considering the switch out of cribs for sometime in the early summer (somebody hold me). I’m trying to think ahead and space these things out so they aren’t all hitting at the same time.

But, now, we’re thinking about adding one more to the list: separate bedrooms.

I’ve long been one to insist on keeping my kids together.  We’ve had occasional periods where one kid will disrupt the other’s sleep, and there were always people quick to suggest that we separate them, at least for naps. For whatever reason, I always was adamant about keeping them together, and the disruptions always passed.

But there’s something about 2.5 that has me reconsidering my stance.  It’s not the sleep. Sleep is just fine, and I don’t think separating them would make it significantly better or worse.  No, it’s more of a personal space issue.

My kids are in each others’ faces all day, every day. It’s just the reality of young twins. We go to the same activities. We eat meals together, we play together, they go down for naps together.  A lot of times, they play together, and it’s great.  But obviously they also fight and argue.  And have very few things that are their own, and very little ability to take some space if they want it. 2-and-a-half is hitting us, hard.

I like the idea of giving them each their own room as a way to have space to themselves if they need a break.  As it is, the bedroom that they share is a space used only for sleeping.  They don’t play upstairs very much at all, just a bit of running around while we get ready in the morning.  What if they each had their own room, with a few toys and books and cozy places? It’s not a gender-related thing for me, but more of a personality one. I think my kids are close to one another, but not as much as some twins I know, who would not want to be apart from one another.

This is also a little bit of hopeful self-preservation as I get ready for them to be out of cribs. My big fear is that the end of cribs will mean the end of naps, and that fear is only magnified if they are still sharing a room at that point.

But even more than being motivated out of fear, this is really about having something of their own.  A concept that is not totally familiar to them. Oh, sure, they have their own clothes and their own blankets. And one or two toys that are designated as belonging to one versus the other.  But nearly everything they have and everything they do is shared.

Just for kicks, I decided to ask them what they thought about sleeping in different rooms. I talked about how their beds are in the same room right now, and what would they think if their beds were in two different rooms? Would that be a good thing, or did they like having their beds together?  I honestly had no idea if they’d even understand the question.

Their answer? A hearty double-endorsement for “own rooms!”  Daniel was quite clear that his bed would go in the “changing room” (the second small bedroom that currently houses their dressers, a loveseat, and the now-defunct changing table).  Even when pressed, “are you sure you don’t want your beds together?”, they stuck to the “own rooms” vote.  And while I know this may or may not have any relation to their actual reaction to the transition, it was nonetheless interesting.

In the meantime, I will shop for cute wall decorations on Etsy and make my shopping list for IKEA.  This time around, I’m actually going to decorate these rooms, believe it or not!

So, dear friends, what do you think? Have you or will you separate your preschool-aged twins into separate rooms? Why or why not?  Do you think they really need the space, or am I totally projecting?