Hard to imagine, as I look out on the chilly rain and trees still devoid of leaves, but it’s time to start planning for the summer. A friend and I were chatting the other day, and the debate was how much to “schedule” the summer with our twin toddlers.

My knee-jerk reaction was “oh, no, I don’t want to sign up for too many things.  It’s summer! We’ll be out of town too much!”  Um, hi.  That was my old life.  I’m sure there will probably be a 2-ish week trip to Chicago.  Maybe a trip with friends?  But the honest truth is that, most of the summer, we’ll be right here at home.  M still has to work, and we don’t have a lot of fabulously wealthy friends with summer mansions on the Cape.

And while I like the idea of having the freedom to go here or there and spend lots of unscheduled time in the sunshine and fresh air, the reality is that I think we still need some structured activities.  But what?

At the moment, we’re in Music Together and gymnastics at The Little Gym.  We love them both.  But do we keep them over the summer, or take a break?  Neither is cheap, of course.  Gymnastics is pretty pricey, and I think Music Together only seems significantly better because it’s a shorter session. But the kids have a great time and seem to be learning a lot in both of those classes.  That said, this isn’t the dead of winter when the classes are practically the only way we can get out of the house.  We have our nice big backyard and playgrounds at our disposal, for free.  Beaches, not free but not too bad.  And an aquarium membership (not free, but already paid for).

What about the other SAHMs out there?  Have you started planning yet? How is your summer shaping up?  Moms of slightly older kids, what did you find was a good balance for the 2-year-old set in the summer?

This morning was the start of our new swim class at a nearby YMCA.  M has been wanting to do this for ages with the kids, and we finally got around to signing up.  Getting to the 9AM class after losing an hour last night was a bit of a crazed rush, but we made it in plenty of time.

We had a few minutes before class, so we could stand and look through the glass wall into the pool.  The kids seemed interested, and it’s not as though this was the first time they’d seen or been in a pool.  When we went in, Rebecca was not thrilled by the man swimming past her while she walked along the pool deck, but they did fine.  Having an adult for each kid is always a nice perk, of course.

There were only three of us in the class, so yes, my family made up 2/3 of the group.  The other girl was about 15-16 months old, so at least they were of a similar age range.  The class is technically for 6-to-18 month olds, and our kids are 19 months, but I figure better to err on the younger side for their first class.  Especially since the next age group is 19-36 months, which is an awfully large range.

Anyways, we sang a quick hello song, and the teacher encouraged us to put a little floatie on the kids (even though we wouldn’t exactly be letting go of them) and kick back and forth across the pool.  The kids weren’t really into it, but we did it anyways.  Then, singing a little song and going in a circle (kids not at all pleased), she suggested we blow in their faces and try to dunk them.  I didn’t think that was so wise, but she strongly encouraged it, so M and I played along.  As predicted, there was much screaming by our pair.  The screaming didn’t stop until we left the pool.

Here’s where I had a problem.  Aside from the fact that I’m not convinced the “blow in their face” technique works that well on 19-month-olds, after Daniel was hysterical for a solid 5 minutes, I stepped off to the side to try and remove him from the situation and calm him down.  I was immediately instructed to come back in, that I shouldn’t “send a bad message” by taking him out, that we should basically just let them scream and continue about our business.  That I didn’t want to send the message that something is wrong by taking him out for a minute.  I got practically a mini-lecture at the end of class about how crying is fine, that I shouldn’t “give in” to it, etc.

You all know, I don’t have a particularly difficult time being the hard-ass, as a rule.  I don’t overreact to crying, temper tantrums, etc.. I don’t have a problem pushing my kids outside of their comfort zone in the name of learning.  But my whole thing about swim class is to teach my kids to enjoy and feel comfortable in the water.  And while I obviously have zero training as a swim instructor, I feel like maybe the approach could have used a lot more gentle encouragement and a lot less just powering through the screams.  I fear that this approach is only going to lead to my kids beginning to scream the moment we pull on the swim diapers.  Especially since Daniel, for one, was really warming up to the pool in Florida, only to freak out today at the Y.

I can’t decide whether to give the class another chance or just cut our losses and try to find another one.  On the one hand, this was just one session.  Maybe it’ll get better.  On the other hand, if this is going to breed some kind of pool phobia, I’d like to get the hell out as soon as possible.

M also points out there was a bit of an “assembly line” mentality to the teacher.  She was going straight from one class into the next, no break. Didn’t learn the kids names (there were only three of us!), sang the song, kicking activity one, kicking activity two, circle, dunk, ball, goodbye song (what were those names again?), get out of the pool, start the next class.  I can understand that would be a hard way to teach.  But I sort of don’t care.  My experience was that she was not engaged with the kids at all, not encouraging, not adapting to anyone’s needs.  And that doesn’t seem worth scrambling to get out of the house early on a Sunday morning.

Moms of older kids, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one. Teacher engagement issues aside, did it work for your kids to just push through the initial protests and screams?  If I knew this was going to pay off, I’d totally stick with it.  But I need to know it’s likely to actually go somewhere positive, and not lead to a kid who’s afraid of the water.  Or, do you think my mommy-spidey-sense is right and this is not a good approach?  Any swim teachers out there want to weigh in?

And as a P.S. to this day… within about five minutes playing in the tub, we had Daniel putting half his face in the water, trying to blow bubbles, thinking it was the funniest thing he’s ever seen.  This is not a kid with an inherent fear of the water.

It’s another Friday, and time for Carrie’s Friday Foto Finish Fiesta!

We’ve started an awesome new class at The Little Gym.  They have parent-child gymnastics up to age 3 (at age 3, they start doing independent kid classes).  And if you’ve got a little monkey on your hands like I do, toddler gymnastics is the way to go!

The Little Gym has all of the characteristics I like in a class (unlike my nemesis, Gymboree).  There’s structure and routine (songs, warmup, exploring, activities, bubbles, goodbye), but while the adults are strongly encouraged to model participation in each activity or song, it’s more than acceptable if the kid decides to wander off on the mats.  Age-appropriate, and twin-friendly.  Hooray!

There’s fine-motor activities like sticks and bells.  There’s tons of gross motor running around, swinging from the uneven bars, learning how to roll down an incline, and even walk on the balance beam.  My kids loved it.  Rebecca liked doing a log roll, and after one or two demonstrations, LOVED climbing up on the mat, leaning forward to grab the bar, and swinging on her own!  Then she’d let go, land on her feet, and repeat.  What a monkey.

Daniel loved it, too.  And was particularly receptive to help from our teacher, Miss Erika.

My kids are currently the oldest ones in the class, as the stated age range is 10-18 months.  We may switch to the next age group (19 mo – 2.5 yrs) in a couple of weeks.  There are good parts to being the oldest, but once they’re really comfortable on the equipment, it might be nice to be the youngest and have older kids to look up to.

The only down side is the cost.  It’s an expensive class, and they only give a 10% discount on the second child.  Plus, it’s about a 20-week semester, so that really adds up.  A few sessions in, though, and it feels like money well spent.  It’s clean, very accessible, teachers are enthusiastic and friendly, and they have a very generous make-up policy if you need to go on a different day.  Plus, if you’re unhappy, you can withdraw and get a refund for the remainder of the term.  I’ll take it!

Yesterday marked the beginning of our first session of Music Together.  And, may I say…? What a hit!  It’s a great program, one I’m finding I love both philosophically and practically.  The whole philosophy is to introduce music-making to kids at a very young age, that everyone is musical, and that everyone can enjoy and participate in their own way.

The music geek in me loves that it’s “real” music. Yes, that sounds snobby, but oh well.  I like that it’s a real person with a guitar.  Other classes we do involve circle time and songs, but either mean simply singing along to a CD, or a well-meaning but tone-deaf child development instructor.  Not without worth, but still annoying to my ear.  Here, we had someone who knows how to sing, knows about meter and rhythm and melody and all of that.  I also love that it includes music from a wide variety of cultural traditions.  This session’s CD includes a Hassidic melody, a song in Spanish, a French folk song, and possibly an African tune.

The materials are also great.  You get two CDs of the music (one for the car and one for home), and a booklet that includes all of the words and melodies for all the songs.  Plus, suggestions for modifying them, making up your own variations, and involving kids of different ages.  Plus, chords and chord diagrams if you are guitar-inclined.  I am a poor-to-vaguely-acceptable guitar player, but this actually makes me want to pull it out of the closet and tune it up. (Maybe next week….)

I also love it as an activity, both at this particular age, and as someone who has to wrangle two kids.  It’s structured and routined, but not overly rigid.  It lets the kids be up and active and try dancing, banging on drums, shaking maracas and tambourines, and the like.  It requires me to be an active participant in the class and with my kids’ experience, but doesn’t force them to sit on my lap the whole time.

All in all, a great first session of our new class.  I hope the next two months are just as fun!

Though it’s a balmy 60-something degrees today, I know that winter is fast approaching New England.  Fall is this crazy up and down, sometimes 65, sometimes 45.  But then, all of a sudden, winter smacks you upside the head.  And you can sort of forget to prepare for it, when you’re contemplating your Thanksgiving menu on a sunny, 70-degree day and otherwise getting caught up in the holiday season whirlwind.  But the next thing you know, it’ll be January.  And with two toddlers on the verge of giving up their morning nap, I need to be prepared.

‘Tis the season for activity signups.  I’m already registered for the next age group of the developmental classes we take.  15-to-20-month-olds, Thursday afternoons.  Check.  Registration for Music Together, which I’m looking forward to trying out, starts in two weeks.  I’m thinking Wednesday mornings.  There are two gymnastics places nearby that I want to investigate, and have sent emails to try and set up a visit or trial class. As far as organized, paid classes go… I need to stop there.  Fees are adding up quickly, and while I think it’s worth it (especially in the winter, when playgrounds are not as accessible), I don’t want to go totally overboard.

I also finally got around to buying winter jackets and snowpants.  Old Navy was having a sale, and $20 each seemed a lot more reasonable than the nicer-but-pricier ones at LL Bean.  Either way, I have quickly realized that, even if temps are dropping, my kids still want to play outside a lot.

In the meantime, I need to stay on the hunt for good free outings.  Library story hour does the trick, though we went today and Rebecca had a complete meltdown when I informed her she wasn’t allowed to keep the stuffed animal she played with while we were there.  Eventually, back in the car, the Harness Buddy proved to be an acceptably cuddly substitute.

A nearby mall recently installed a small play space near the food court, so that’s an outing with readily available snacks, but to avoid unnecessary shopping, I don’t want to go all the time.

I’m suitably jealous of those friends who actually semi-finished their basements in order to have some indoor play space.  M and I both went downstairs, hoping to see what we had been missing all along, but no dice. Our basement is fairly damp, and though not tiny, has no good space that would work for finishing. Boohoo!

To the cold-winter mom friends out there: any good ideas for wintertime outings or activities that you’d like to share?

This morning was our weekly class/playgroup.  It’s really a great activity, since everything is pretty much baby-proofed and developmentally appropriate.  The class has the same structure every week: hello and other songs, parachute, main activity, snack, story, bubbles, goodbye song.  The main activity is what changes each week, and this week was hand and finger stamping.  There were washable ink pads, and the kids could experiment with the different colors and making fingerprints on the paper.

Truthfully, my kids were a little on the cranky side, and Daniel just wanted to walk the ink pad around the room and was furious when I told him it had to stay on the table.  But we got a few good prints, and the result is my very first pieces of kiddie artwork! Daniel’s is first, then Rebecca’s:

The brown construction paper was to be a tree trunk in case we were trying to make the design into a tree.  I think one of the singleton moms managed such a thing, but that wasn’t happening with my kids today.  It was otherwise a bit of a rough day.  Daniel kept stumbling and whacking his head on something, and Rebecca was just pissy and throwing mini temper tantrums.  That one’s going to be trouble, mark my words.

But then we had a nice run around in the yard when we got home, and now they’re up (hopefully) napping.  Whew.

You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Adrift in a sea of leaves.

As I get into my second year of being a mom, naturally I have come across a lot of situations that make me remember what we were doing a year ago.  I’ll try to keep the yammering to a minimum, but this one has photographic evidence, so I thought I’d share.

Today, we started a new class.  It’s at the same maternity/baby center where I’ve taken several other classes.  It’s a little pricey (especially now that I have to pay for the 2nd kid…), but nice to have an outing in a child-safe place with developmentally-appropriate activities.  Gets us out of the house, gives me new ideas, entertains the kids.  And, it’s at 11AM, so gets them good and tired before the iffy PM nap.

The class was fun, seems like a nice enough group. There’s even another set of twins there, though they’re a touch on the younger side, and the mom brought the nanny along (and was surprised that I was there by myself… come on, just do it!).  There were songs and toys and a story and a parachute.  There was even a brief adventure with a water table (next week will, apparently, be sand).  I was really struck by how big they’re getting, and the differences in each of the classes we’ve done.

Almost exactly one year ago, I started my very first mom/baby class there. I was the first one there, as tends to be my way. The oldest baby was 9 weeks, the youngest only 2. My kids were right in the middle.  Almost the whole class was pretty mom-focused.  We learned infant massage, we talked about breastfeeding and sleep and swaddling.  We were all brand new to this whole thing, and the babies pretty much only ate or slept.  We’d try a little tummy time.  All of those babies are now a year old, most are walking. Some moms have gone back to work, some of us haven’t.  One is even expecting her second.  We have a Halloween party planned for next month.

Amazing, the difference a year makes.  First, a picture I took during our third or fourth class.  Big excitement: tummy time and mirrors (Daniel is the noggin in the middle)!  Then, there was today.  Water table and snacks!  Just imagine next year…

My mission, now that the summer is basically over and we have no travel plans in the foreseeable future, is to find activities and have a plan for this fall. While the weather is still nice and I’m sure we’ll have good outdoor days for a couple more months, I still feel the pressure of impending cabin fever with two soon-to-be-walking toddlers.  We just can’t be home all day, every day.  I like to have set plans on the calendar, obviously with some flexibility built in.

First is a mom-and-child(ren) playgroup/class.  This will be the fourth I’ve taken at my local maternity center. They aren’t perfect, but it’s structured, in a child-friendly environment, and it’s just nice to be with other kids their age. It’s led by an instructor who does songs and books and games with the kids, and there’s always a “development” topic that we can all discuss for each class. Of course, I predict now that there will be at least one post in the coming months about me being insecure that my kids are the only ones not walking and talking. But oh well.  It’s a somewhat pricey class, especially now that I have to pay for the second kid, but there you have it.

I’m also getting recommendations on nearby library story times.  These have the obvious benefit of being free, but I think they’ll also be a nice block of time.  Get the kids in the car, drive there, unpack, story and walk around, pack up, drive home. It will fill the space between morning and afternoon nap quite nicely, I think.

Today, I went to check out a new place.  It’s a multi-purpose business that does a lot of child and adult activity/classes like yoga, self defense, pilates, dance, and the like. But they also have a drop-in play time for kids, including one block specifically for 24 months and under.  I have to say, it was just as great as I thought it would be.  A big open room with padded floors, and huge vinyl/foam building blocks and shapes for them to crawl on, over, under… balls to roll, and a parachute to flap.  And at $5 per kid per day on a no-commitment drop-in basis, not a bad way to spend an hour.  I think the kids really liked it.  Rebecca, as expected, was all over the place. Daniel clung to me a little more, but did branch out and check out the scene.  We’ll definitely be returning.  The only trick is that it’s that slot between the AM and PM naps, and the drive is just long enough that I had to work to keep them from falling asleep on the way home.  Still, though, tons of fun and a great indoor option.

I’m also hoping to take advantage of the babysitting room at my gym.  It’s only $2 per kid per hour, and has the added benefit of allowing me to get some much-needed exercise.  I thought about doing a Music Together class, but all of the times conflict with naps.  Maybe later in the winter when we switch to one nap (not something I’m exactly looking forward to).

This, for me, is the way to survive the potential isolation and frustration of being a stay-at-home-mom.  While I love it and wouldn’t trade it, there are times when it’s really, really hard and I’m at a loss for how to entertain the kids and not lose my mind.  You’ll notice that only one of the things I listed is a hard-and-fast longer-term commitment (the mom-child class is 10-12 weeks long).  Everything else is a pre-existing thing that we can go to and have on the calendar, but if we decide not to, nothing is lost.  I didn’t want to over-commit us to too many things.  And only one is particularly expensive (again, the mom-child class).  The rest are either free or relatively cheap.

We’re at a somewhat tricky stage.  The kids are mobile and have no interest in sitting still for long, but they aren’t yet walking and still require two naps per day.  That limits our available hours and leaves only a few physical-activity options.  I have a feeling that, when I go to make plans for January through April, it’s going to look fairly different from what it is now.  Can’t get too far ahead of myself, though.  For now: concentrate on activities to last us into December.  Let’s hope the nap schedule holds until then.

I just jinxed myself, didn’t I?  Sigh…

Yesterday we started our Sign & Sing class! It’s a 10-week series to help learn sign language with the kids. Not only do I think it’s a good thing to learn as far as language development and improved communication, but it’s also a fun outing for all of us to do together. Joining groups and taking classes is not usually M’s thing. I’m definitely more of the extrovert, more likely to seek out activities and things. But he likes the idea of sign language, and we agree that it’s not the kind of thing that would be very effective for me to go learn it on my own and then come back and show him. Plus, I’ve really been itching for something that all four of us can go out and do together on the weekends. We’re kind of homebodies, and also end up doing a lot of baby hand-offs on the weekend (i.e. he hangs out with them while I go to the store, etc). That works in some ways, but I wanted something that was fun and out of the house for all four of us.

The class was great! It’s not too early in the morning for Mr. Not-a-morning-person, starting at 11:45. Makes for a slightly tricky afternoon nap situation, but it’s alright. There were a total of six babies in the class. I was worried that we’d have the youngest ones, as the stated age range for the class is 8-24 months. Thankfully, they’re almost all around 8 months, with the oldest being 11 months! Whew. And, lucky for M, there’s even two other dads there! That was my other worry, but I think the fact that it’s a Saturday helped us. Anyways, most of the signs are done in the context of a song (as the name of the class might suggest), which seems to be fun for the kids and helps the adults remember the signs. There were toys to play with, and the big hit of the day, bubbles. At 45 minutes long, it was just enough to keep their interest, and end before they totally lost it.

Language is a funny thing. You think to yourself that it’ll be plenty just to learn maybe 3-5 new signs, that it would be hard enough to remember that many. But when I look back and remember all of the words we did, it was closer to 15-20! Hello, happy, here, mom, dad, bear, mountain, see, what, music, more, all done, silly, clown, ball, jumping, blocks, bubbles, high, low, sky, goodbye… many of them are obvious and intuitive, and the teacher had some good cues and associations to help the rest make sense. I think the trick now is to make signing a habit, something that I just do, without having to think to much about doing it on purpose. We’ll see how it goes.

Anyways, after the class, we decided to be bold and go get lunch (plus, it was 12:45 and we were hungry). We walked down to a casual burger joint, grabbed sandwiches, and had a nice time. Daniel got fussy, so we fed him, but otherwise it went pretty well. Especially given that it was rather past their normal nap time. I definitely enjoyed the family-of-four outing, and I think M did, too. I think it’s good for him to do things like this, because while I’m used to being out and about with the kids, he doesn’t do that as much. I think it helps him get a sense of what they’re (and we’re) capable of, and what their (our) limits are.

A good time was had by all, and this will be our Saturday morning until early June! Wow!

My kids have entered a whole new phase. On the one hand, they’re a million times more fun than they were back in the dark days of 6-12 weeks. They interact, they smile, they laugh. They play with toys, they play with us. They think daddy is pretty funny. They think the dog is nothing short of hilarious. Sometimes they even find me amusing. But since I’m doing a one-woman show for the majority of our days, I’m feeling a bit of pressure to keep the hits coming. And the down side of this phase is the fact that they now seem to get bored. Oh dear.

Play groups help. Seeing other babies and other adults helps to amuse them, especially in those tricky late-afternoon hours. But outings are troublesome, especially in relation to the nap schedule. Going out before the morning nap, well that’s just not going to happen. I’m still in my PJs. Maybe, when it gets warmer, we’ll manage a short walk with the dog, but that’s it. In between the morning and afternoon nap is when we frequently have invitations to go somewhere, but it’s not always such a good thing. By the time they’re up from their nap, fed, packed in the car, and ready to go… it doesn’t leave a lot of time for much “playing.” And then, when we inevitably make a hasty exit due to tired meltdowns, they fall asleep in the car. Just long enough that, when they get home and wake up (as soon as I get them in the house, usually), they have no interest in “finishing” their early afternoon nap. And thus, the rest of our day is shot to hell, because their naps are all messed up and they’re tired. No, at this particular moment in their young lives, the ideal time for an outing seems to be about 3PM. Post-afternoon-nap, they’re fairly wide awake, but also likely to be nearing boredom. We go out, we are amused, and if they fall asleep in the car around 4:30PM, no problem. Just enough of a catnap to get them all the way to bedtime.

But still, I can only crash my friends’ houses so often. We need another kid-centered activity. And so, I’ve signed us up for two classes! This is at the same maternity center where I took my two new mom classes back in the fall. I felt a little burned out on them at the time, but I’m ready to have a regular outing at a baby-safe location. They both start in a few weeks.

The first class we’re doing is sort of a developmentally-centered playgroup/class. Babies in the class are about 6-8 months old (at the start of class), and there are age-appropriate activities like songs and parachutes, as well as some discussion with the facilitator and other moms about development (gross motor, language, etc.). It’s an hour long, and best of all, it’s at 3PM! It’s at a center slightly farther from my house, but I couldn’t pass up the time. All of the other classes were around noon or 1PM, which is just too much messing with the nap for me. Can’t wait.

And the second class, drumroll, is going to be all four of us. Yes, that’s right, M is actually going to come to a baby class. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great dad, very involved, loves the kids more than anything. But let’s just say that joining groups is not really his thing. A few weeks ago, I took a single-session workshop with a friend of mine on Infant Signing. I knew I wanted to use sign language with my kids, but this gave some good suggestions for how to do it. My interest was piqued, and M thought it sounded cool, too. Since I have no interest in going to the class by myself and then having to pass along second-hand info, we found a Saturday class, and we’re all going. 10 weeks of sign language! It’s done with a lot of songs and games and things for the babies. Ours will probably be among the youngest in the class, but I’m not too concerned. It’s just as much for me and M to learn as anything else. But I hope we all like it, and I hope the kids take to it…

And now, I must run. Playgroup this afternoon! Thank goodness.