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Eff you, Nemo

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (5)· February 8th, 2013

I should be in Disney World right now. The most magical goddamn place on earth. Instead, I am in my drafty house, filling up the gas tank for the snowblower, hunkering down for a freaking blizzard.

So, hi! How are you?

We were in Disney World this week. We left last Saturday. It had been planned for months – a big family trip courtesy of my dad, fifteen or sixteen of us in all. We didn’t tell the kids until we were on the bus to the resort. My dad and brother had conference stuff going on the first few days, but that was fine. We had M’s parents drive up from South Florida to babysit Ellie so that he and I could go nuts in the parks with the kids. And boy, did we. Teacups. Characters. Freaking Jedi Academy.

My in-laws left Tuesday night, so Wednesday onward was all set for Big Group Family Time. Between the four of us siblings, we live in four different states, so together time is rare. But good times were to be had by all. A fancy private breakfast with none other than Cinderella herself. Rides with cousins for hours. Happy grandparents.

And then, on the way back to our hotel after a long, fun day, I started to hear about some snow forecast for Boston. A blizzard. Two feet of snow between Friday and Saturday. When was our return flight scheduled? Saturday afternoon.

I quickly realized that there was no earthly way we were going to make it home on Saturday. And that I needed to call and reschedule ASAP instead of getting stuck at the airport with three kids. And while extra days at Disney sound nice, the logistics of being away an extra 3-4 days just seemed like too much. Not to mention the fact that, once we did get home, we’d never get into our driveway with two feet of snow in it. As much as it sucks, we decided we had to leave early. I called the airline to re-book us on a Thursday night flight, so we could get at least one more morning in the parks to do a final hurrah.

In the 30 minutes I was on the phone, everything was booked. My only option, sitting there at 5pm on Wednesday, was 8:15am on Thursday.

I made the reservation change and promptly burst into tears. I was upset at having to leave early, having to abruptly drop everything and go, not knowing that afternoon was our last day. I felt awful for my dad, who was so excited to have us all together and had been looking forward to it for ages. I felt shitty for all of the times I said “not now” in the gift shops, fully intending to go souvenir shopping later in the week. All of a sudden, we had about two hours before bedtime and then a 5:00am wake-up call to get to the airport.

Just so we could be home in time for a freaking blizzard, that they have so helpfully named Nemo. (WTF is up with naming winter storms, now?)

But my pity party needs to be done. My family understood what we had to do, they knew it was the right decision. And as bummed as I am to miss out on more days, we thankfully can say that we milked every little bit out of the ones we had, and I am hard-pressed to think of something we wanted to do that we didn’t make happen. It was a huge bummer to end it like that, and I hate that we didn’t get more time with my dad, but I can’t let that set the tone for what was otherwise a great trip. There was wonder and excitement, there was family time big and small. There was magic. Totally worth it.

Comments (5)

Categories : Family, Travel

Tags : blizzard, disney world

Do I get a badge for this?

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· December 8th, 2012

The alarm went off at 4:45 this morning. We were in the car at 5:30, headed to the airport in the dark.

This wasn’t my first time flying solo with all three kids, but it remains a major undertaking. Heck, the 5-year-olds are pretty easy. They know what to do, they entertain themselves with books and movies and video games. Ellie, on the other hand, is solidly in my least favorite age for traveling. Big enough that she wants to GO GO GO, but too little to understand why she can’t. And, worst of all, too young to zone out with a movie for an hour.

The good and bad is that she is recovering (slowly) from a stomach bug. So while she was a little grumpy and uncomfortable, she was also sleepy and a bit lethargic. So at least she was content to doze off a few times and otherwise just snuggle.

Honestly, it all went just fine. I happily soaked up the compliments on their behavior from pleasantly-surprised strangers, and we will spend the next few days with salty hair and bare feet.

And then I get to do it all over again on the way home. Way to kill any sense of relaxation I might find on vacation, huh?

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Categories : Travel

20 hours in New York

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)· November 24th, 2012

Empire State Building,

diner and a museum,

riding in taxis.

At about 10:30 on Thursday night, M and I got to talking. He pointed out the perfect alignment of the stars – a long weekend without work or school, his mom among the few people willing and able to take care of Ellie for an extended period of time. We wanted to do something fun with just the big kids. They’ve both been showing signs recently that they wanted and needed some more attention from us. This was our chance. But what to do? We wanted it to be more than just an hour or two at the aquarium or the Children’s Museum. We wanted to do something special.

And so, 12 hours after we got the idea into our heads, we packed the four of us into the car and drove south to New York City.

We didn’t really have plans. I made the hotel reservation about 20 minutes before we left. We checked attraction hours on my phone somewhere in the middle of Connecticut while the kids watched a movie in the back seat.

We ended up grabbing an early (by New York standards) dinner, and then started walking towards the Empire State Building. As luck would have it, we passed by the Lord & Taylor window displays on the way, and Rebecca insisted I take her picture with each of them.

We went up to the observation deck at the 86th floor of the Empire State Building (did you know it’s open until 2AM?), and it was a clear night to see all of the city lights below us. The kids didn’t last long, so we grabbed a taxi back to the hotel and crashed. The late night didn’t exactly mean the kids slept in the next morning, but oh well.

We had breakfast with friends, and then met M’s cousin for a trip to the Museum of Natural History. We found out how much we’d weigh on the moon, talked about the Big Bang, and checked out the marine life and the dinosaurs.

By 12:30, both kids were pooped and ready to go. And so, without a regret, we got in the car and made our way back to New England. (With a stop at M’s favorite Connecticut fast food establishment for a late hot dog lunch.)

With no offense whatsoever to our beloved Ellie, it was so incredibly refreshing and easy to do this little jaunt without a toddler in tow. We weren’t dragging a little one to things she’d hate, we weren’t spending our time and energy and attention to keep her from screaming. We could do whatever Daniel and Rebecca wanted to do, and stop when they were ready to stop. We could listen to their stories and jokes and questions without having one hand and both eyes on their little sister. It was really, really nice to be able to give the big kids about as much undivided attention as they could possibly want.

I’m not going to pretend that we had 24 hours completely free of whining and arguing, nor am I naive enough to suggest that this one day will solve any and all of our woes. But it was fun and surprisingly relaxing, and I hope it was a really special experience for the five-year-old crew. I’m happy we didn’t try to push anyone to do more or stay longer – this felt like we left while we were still having a good time, before anyone could fall apart. I’m putting it in the win column, for sure.

Comments (4)

Categories : Family, Travel

Tags : haiku, New York

Road trip

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (0)· November 23rd, 2012

We decided an
adventure was in order.
So, away we went.

Comments (0)

Categories : Travel

Tags : haiku, New York

Grandparents Galore

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (1)· November 14th, 2012

My mom left Monday.

In-laws arrive tomorrow.

My dad, on Friday.

M and I decided that we need to back off on the amount that we travel as a family. It’s crazy expensive, crazy stressful, and crazy difficult right now with a busy toddler who will not be entertained for more than 30 seconds at a time. Not to mention five-year-olds who have school and a variety of other commitments. Not that it’s the end of the world if we miss a day of gymnastics or karate, but they are signed up and we have paid a not-inconsequential amount of money for these activities, so I’d rather not just skip out on them all the time.

Anyways, all of our parents are either retired or close-enough to it. They have more flexible schedules and fewer plane tickets to buy. They can come visit us any old time.

Trouble is, they all apparently decided to take us up on that offer at the same time. And while my mom only stayed for about five days and my dad will be here for two, my in-laws will be “up North” for four weeks.

I always believed myself to be a major extrovert, and someone who loves hosting guests. But it turns out that having all of these people in my space (even though none of them are actually staying at our house) is really difficult for me. I don’t know if it’s my inner introvert desperate for some quiet time and personal space, or my not-so-inner control freak getting wigged out by people putting away my kitchen tools in the wrong place. And it’s not particularly fair to my friendly, helpful, well-meaning visitors. They’re just trying to visit and make themselves useful, and I try really hard to be grateful for all of it.

I shall, in the meantime, try not to go completely bonkers.

Comments (1)

Categories : Family, Travel

Tags : grandparents, haiku, visitors

Getaway

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (8)· October 16th, 2012

Parenting is freaking exhausting.

Doesn’t matter the exact configuration or ages of your kids, parenting is plenty of work. And I think there is something uniquely exhausting about being a full-time stay-at-home parent. Not that I’m trying to say I’m any more or less beat than my working-mom friends, only that the version I know has its own flavor. I am ALWAYS in the presence of a small child. Usually one who wants to climb on me, wants me to get them a snack, or absolutely MUST ask me this question while I’m trying to pee.

So, yeah, I was pretty damn thrilled to get on an airplane last week. By myself. And stay in a hotel. By myself. And geek out about fabric and sewing with other fabric and sewing nerds (I say it with love, we are SUCH nerds). Without my children.

(P.S. if you’re ever looking for my sewing blog, just click on “quilts” up there in the header…)

I had a two-hour layover in New York on my way to Salt Lake City. Without kids? NO PROBLEM. I’ll just get my nails done, get a bite to eat, actually put my earbuds in my ears and listen to music and tune out the rest of the world.

A old friend of mine (I realized we met when we were ONE YEAR OLDER THAN MY CHILDREN) lives in Salt Lake and took me for a little hike in one of the canyons just outside of the city. Fresh air, adult conversation, beautiful views, and no one’s schedule or needs but my own.

Some of the women I talked to at the conference mentioned how much they missed their kids. You want the truth? I didn’t. I adore my kids, they are awesome, I love my life with them. But four days without them? Not a problem, not even a little bit. They were well-cared-for, they were home and comfortable and got to have dinner at Sonic. They were fine. Me? I needed a little re-charging. Something that was just for fun, just for me.

This was my second year going to Sewing Summit, and I hope I get to go again next year. Honestly, if you have never managed to get together with your friends-in-the-computer and turned them into friends-I-will-hug-again-next-year, you’re missing out. And if, as a parent, you haven’t gotten yourself away from the kids for a couple of days – GET ON THAT, ASAP. I know not everyone has a partner like I have in M, not everyone has someone who encourages this sort of thing and is 100% willing and able to hold down the fort while mom is away. But if you do and you just haven’t made it a priority? Do it. Find a way, find something fun to do, or just book a hotel room a few hours from home. You’ll be so glad you did.

Comments (8)

Categories : Just me, Travel

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (6)· December 31st, 2011

2011 will not go down as my favorite year.

Holy hell has it been a rough one. An anxious third trimester gave way to Ellie’s 72-day hospital stay, and the rest of the year is pretty much a blur of doctor’s appointments, physical therapy, and attempting to juggle the needs of three kids.

There were good things, here and there. And of course I am glad to have Ellie, my sweetest pea, in our family. But my overall feeling on 2011 is that it could not possibly be over soon enough.

As you might guess from my absence here (it’s been more than two weeks since I last posted? whoops…), December was the perfectly ridiculous ending to a perfectly ridiculous year. Our annual holiday trip to Chicago was the most stressful one I’ve ever experienced, and that’s saying something after 25 years of joint custody. Again, there were good parts: bowling, the Museum of Science & Industry, and princesses galore. But mostly I just wanted to curl up in a ball until it was over.

I’ve got nothing more to recap. I’m exhausted. We’re spending New Year’s Eve at home, at least half of the occupants of this house are still in their pajamas. Laying low, nachos and fajitas for dinner, and I’ll probably be in bed by 10.

I’ve got ideas for next year. Goals and plans and a desire to do what I can so that I am not writing this post again next December. But for today, I’m just going to be glad this year is done smacking me around.

Comments (6)

Categories : Travel

Awesome

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (7)· November 7th, 2011

It doesn’t bode well that it’s Day 7 of NaBloPoMo and I’m already searching for ideas. Well, that’s partially true. I have a few ideas kicking around that I’m not ready to actually sit down and write, yet. Like how much I hate feeding therapy, and the fact that my 4-year-olds are obsessed with death. I’ll get there.

Tonight, I turned to M and asked him what I should write about. He said, “write about me. Because I’m awesome.”

He tried to backtrack and say he was kidding. Too late, buddy.

Marriage isn’t easy, even when you’re married to the “right” person. Toss a few kids into the mix… well, you know how it goes. So much stress, so much to do, so little free time. I know I’m not the only one who unintentionally puts her marriage a few steps too low on the list of priorities.

This weekend was a really good thing for us. We’ve both been mighty stressed recently, and a lot of it has been cumulative over the last, oh, eight months or so. 48 hours completely to ourselves was unbelievably restorative. A three-hour drive, just us. A hotel, no kids, no laundry, no cooking, no to-do list. Just the two of us, doing whatever struck our fancy.

It was a wonderful reminder that we actually, you know, enjoy each other’s company. That conversation and company is as easy and funny as we remember it being. It was comforting to quiet that nagging little voice in the backs of our minds that wonders if we’d lost something, and lost it for good.

It’s still there. We’ve still got it. It’s hard to see sometimes, amid the daily grind and hassles and irritations and pet peeves and obligations and pressures. But it’s there.

So, a public thanks to my beloved M for our much-needed and much-appreciated weekend away. Thanks for convincing me I was ready to leave Ellie with the grandparents. Thanks for indulging my requests for a fancy massage and some hibachi for dinner.

Thanks for 7 years of marriage, for holding on tight, for not letting go of my hand, through all of the bumps in the road. I wouldn’t want to travel it with anyone else. On we go.