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Archive for potty training

She’s asking for it

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (8)·   March 18th, 2013

The first time I had toddlers, one of the things I was always hearing people obsess over was potty training “readiness.” I wasn’t wringing my hands over it quite as much as some people I knew, but still, it was a big topic of conversation in the parents-of-two-year-olds set. Dry diapers in the morning, a certain body awareness, probably even some particular arrangement of tea leaves were all cited as being “ready” for potty training. I don’t think I paid much attention, I just up and decided to rip off the band-aid one weekend and went all boot-camp with Rebecca. Though it felt unbelievably stressful at the time, she picked it up quickly and my job was relatively easy. Daniel, well, that was an entirely different story. Were they showing me signs of “readiness?” Eh, who knows. Probably not. But they were two-and-a-half and heading towards preschool, so it was time and we did it.

There was less than a year that I was free from the world of diaper changes, and then came Ellie. Honestly? Diapers aren’t that bad. I don’t mind changing them, it’s not really that much of a hassle in the grand scheme of things. Sure, eventually I’ll have to potty-train Ellie, but I’ve been down this road before, and seriously, what’s the rush?

Yeah. Try telling that to her.

I swear, every third word out of her mouth is “potty,” “bathroom,” “diaper,” or “change.”  For a long time, I’ve been sticking my fingers in my ears and singing LA LA LA LA because I just cannot add potty training to my list of daily responsibilities. And honestly, I think she originally thought “potty” meant “get down from the table,” because that’s what her brother and sister always did at dinner when they used that word.

But I think I underestimate this clever little girl of mine. I am too quick to assume she doesn’t get it. I’m starting to fear that, in this case, she actually might. She might be all but freaking BEGGING me to potty train her. And sure, yes, it would be lovely to cancel that particular Subscribe-and-Save order on Amazon. Having a diaper-free house would be quite something. But the process of getting there? Always having a change of clothes and a portable potty and having to DROP EVERYTHING as soon as she says the word? Oh, I could really do without that part.

But it’s getting to the point that I can’t deny it. I can’t pretend I don’t hear her saying it ALL THE TIME. It’s time to give it a go and see if she’s actually… ready. So now I have to go to Target and get a damn potty, and a few packages of cheap underwear that will be absurdly large on her teeny-tiny, maybe-she’ll-grow-into-size-2T-when-she’s-5 little bum.

Ugh. It’s a good thing she’s cute.

This one. I mean. Can you even?

Comments (8)
Categories : Child Development, Milestones, Toddlers
Tags : potty training

My world is soaked in pee

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (10)·   November 8th, 2010

You know what sucks?

Potty regressions.

From both kids at the same time.

It’s been a rough week or so on the potty front here at Casa in Progress.  Both kids have been reliably trained for quite a while.  Rebecca since about March, and Daniel since the end of the summer.  A small handful of times they’ve come home in the “spare” clothes from school, but generally it’s no problem at all.

Until last week.

Suddenly, BOTH kids are having accidents left and right.  Initially, I almost blamed my own push to get rid of the little potty chairs.  While both kids are perfectly capable of using the large toilet, they were often still using the little chair. And I was just plain tired of them taking up space in our small bathrooms, not to mention cleaning them and the inevitable spills when the kids wanted to dump the contents by themselves.  So I sold them to another twin mom, and nobody minded.  But then there were several “almost made it” accidents, and I second-guessed my decision.  Maybe I was too hasty?

Except the accidents are even more random than that, now.  Half the time, they are literally STANDING STILL in the middle of the living room, or sitting in their chair at lunch, and WOOSH.  “Mommy……  I peed in my undies.”  OMFG.

For the love of pete, the pee laundry is really getting on my nerves. The Oxi-Clean supply is being depleted. We’re blowing through our big bottle of Nature’s Miracle.  I can never seem to fully get rid of the pee smell in the bathroom. (I know, now you’re DYING to come to my house, huh?)

I’m at something of a loss.  The kids are already potty trained. They know full well HOW to use the potty, and have demonstrated themselves very capable over a long period of time. There is no apparent anxiety with regard to anything bathroom-related.  So I’m really not sure where to go.  I’m certainly not putting them in pull-ups during the day, that just seems like a gigantic step backwards. A sticker/reward chart seems a little silly for something they’ve already accomplished, though if it would get us through this, I’d be happy to spend a few bucks on some sheets of stickers.

I can only hope it’s related to a growth spurt or something similar (they chowed through an entire bunch of bananas today), and I have to assume it’s one of those “grit your teeth and get through it” phases.  I’ll try to up the active reminders for preemptive potty breaks, but even those were not immune from the floods today.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do YET ANOTHER load of laundry.

Comments (10)
Categories : Preschoolers
Tags : accidents, potty training, regression

I’m not sure it’s progress

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (6)·   July 1st, 2010

We had a rough morning. Daniel seemed to sleep a little better last night (after a complete meltdown at bedtime and resulting night terror about two hours later), but still woke up in a horrid mood and had two time-outs before even going downstairs. I could have told him we were having ice cream for breakfast and he would have pitched a fit.  He pulled it together for swim class, but again protested going down for nap.  Thankfully, FINALLY, he took one today. Three cheers for the new blackout shade.

Went up to get him from nap, he took a solid 2+ hours.  Walk in, strange smell. Diaper in hand.

“Daniel, why did you take off your diaper?”

“Because I had to pee.”

“Where did you pee?”

“In my bed.”

Indeed. The whole bed was completely soaked. The diaper was dry as a bone.

What could I even do? The pee was cold, the incident had passed. The morning, the week, had been so intensely frustrating and draining, I had nothing left in the tank. If I got upset about this, it was clear I was going to straight-up flip my lid, possibly burst into tears.  So I complimented him on knowing that he needed to pee, and suggested that the next time he felt that way, he could just go to the bathroom across the hall.  I mean, at least he recognized he needed to go?

Good lord.

Comments (6)
Categories : Behavior, Preschoolers, Sleep, Toddlers
Tags : nap strike, potty training

There is hope

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (3)·   June 25th, 2010

I know I’ve made various claims about trying again to potty-train Daniel over the last few months, but the truth is that each was a half-hearted attempt that fizzled out as blandly as it began.  I didn’t have the mental fortitude to commit, and Daniel’s interest was passing, at best.

While I know there are plenty of kids, boys especially, who train at an older age, I was just plain tired of changing Daniel’s diaper.  It was clear to me that he was capable of using the potty, if perhaps a little under-motivated.  And, with preschool starting up in the fall, I know they would prefer that he be trained, so I at least wanted to make another serious attempt before then.

Sunday night, I looked at my calendar for the week, and then for the next six.  I realized we are completely between activities at the moment, and had literally nothing on the calendar for this week.  But, after this week, things start to really pick up again.  New classes, big outings, travel, the whole nine yards.  It was very obvious that this was the biggest stretch of free time we will have until probably mid-August.  Time to suck it up, Mama.

And so, this week has been Potty Boot Camp, Take 2 (or whatever “take” I’m on now, lord only knows).  The first day was, in a word, discouraging.  What bothered me the most is that the accidents didn’t seem to phase him in the least.  Especially the poop ones!  And there is nothing quite so delightful as trying to remove and clean a pair of toddler-sized underwear full of poop.  Wow.

But I changed my reward strategy this time.  No M&M jar (not only ineffective, but AWFUL for me to have them around), but a sticker chart.  Earn five stickers (and yes, I’ll give them out for as little as about half a teaspoon worth of pee in the potty), and you get a special treat.  Popsicle, ice cream, Trader Joe’s star cookies.  Your choice.  And to try to keep Rebecca invested in the process (and not resentful of the attention Daniel was getting), she got a treat when he earned his five stickers, too.  My little mama-girl thought it was great that she could “help teach Daniel to use the potty.”

And…

Sticker charts

Progress. Dare I say, some enthusiasm.  Initially, there was certainly happiness over the stickers and the potential for popsicles, but a notable lack of disappointment when an accident would cause him to not earn a Thomas or Cars sticker.  But in the last day or two, I feel like I’ve noticed a subtle shift.  He seems to be shifting from “poop anywhere, anytime, in the undies, who cares?” to “save it for the naptime diaper.”  In my world, that’s a notable improvement, and one I can totally work with.  And, though he might sometimes poop in the diaper, I’ve noticed it suddenly staying dry…  This morning, as I was downstairs psyching myself up for an early-morning run, I hear a door and footsteps.  I waited.  A few minutes later, down comes Daniel, looking for me.  Pajama bottoms and (dry) diaper in hand, informing me he had gotten up to use the potty.

I could care less that it was 45 minutes before his Good Nite Lite was scheduled to turn yellow, that was a HUGE freaking breakthrough.

Other accomplishments this week include staying dry at: Trader Joe’s (where we have an unfortunate history of Daniel and poop accidents), the MOVIE THEATER (he sat through the entirety of Toy Story 3, told me he needed to use the potty with two minutes to go, and actually waited for the credits before we bolted for the bathroom!), and an entire morning at the playground.

It really feels like we’re turning a corner, thankfully.  And, to be fair, I think my mindset is different this time around.  The first time I did boot camp with Daniel, I had done the same with Rebecca only a couple of weeks earlier.  For one thing, she was relatively easy to train and I was able to back off of her relatively quickly, once I could tell she “got it.”  Daniel seemed to “get it,” and then had an enormous backslide about a week later.  I couldn’t handle all of that mess and the inability to go about our usual business, especially combined with the fact that Rebecca, while pretty reliable, was still fairly high-maintenance on the potty.

This time around, I barely have to think about Rebecca at all. She’s almost entirely self-sufficient on the potty and, despite a strange uptick in overnight accidents, is very low-maintenance.  Not only do I have a bit more energy to focus on Daniel, but I have also shifted the mindset and know that I’m going to have to stay a lot more proactive with him for a lot longer.  While I’ve noticed major improvements, he’s always been the kind of kid who gets very easily distracted and, when involved in one thing, kind of tunes everything else out.  So, if I’m constantly nearby and asking him if he needs to use the potty, and asking how the undies are doing (“clean and dry!”), he’s good about stopping and telling me.  If I leave him to do his own thing for a while, that’s when I’m more likely to see an accident.  Forgive the comparison, but it reminds me a line about house-training puppies in a book I read when I first got our dog: “If they have an accident, you’ve given them too much freedom, too soon.”  And while there are certainly more complexities to potty-training a kid than housebreaking a dog, there’s an aspect of that that rings pretty true.

Though, seriously, crate-training was awfully effective. Are you sure I can’t do that with toddlers?

I know this isn’t over.  I know he’s not going to be the same as Rebecca.  But I am cautiously optimistic that we are on a good path, and I’m very much hoping that the move to underwear is a permanent one.

Comments (3)
Categories : Child Development, Milestones, Preschoolers, Toddlers
Tags : boot camp, boys, potty training

Potty Training, v.2.0

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (7)·   May 6th, 2010

That’s right, I’ve gotten back on the horse that so violently threw me off a few months ago.  I’m taking another pass at potty-training Daniel.

The recap, in case I never quite finished the story here, is that we did a “boot camp” with him about two weeks after Rebecca’s.  He did quite well for the first week.  Minor accidents, but plenty of success. Wohoo.  And then a week passed, and it all fell apart.  It was like he simply stopped caring, or stopped paying attention.  He’d have a success or two in the morning, and then it would be all downhill the rest of the day.  After more than a week of that nonsense, I decided it wasn’t worth the stress/power-struggle and put him in Pull-Ups full-time.  Mainly because they’re easier for the times that he actually did want to use the potty.  Which, as it turned out, he did not.  Zero interest.  And when there’s absolutely NO potty usage, Pull-Ups are just a very expensive and messy pain in my ass.  So we went back to diapers.

Anyways, some time has passed, and changing the diaper of a nearly-three-year-old is getting rather tiresome.

At the Pond

I asked Daniel yesterday what he would think about wearing big-boy underwear and using the potty.  Previous questioning along this line has been dismissed with an uninterested “no.”  Yesterday: “Oh! Yes! I would be very happy!”  Um, OK.  And up he ran to the dresser to choose his big-boy underwear.

At the Pond

And, so, we have begun again.  For the moment, I am not going the boot camp route.  We’ll do underwear when we’re at home, diapers when we go out and when he sleeps.  I don’t trust him in the slightest to tell me that he wants to go, so I’ve been setting the timer on my phone, and he knows that when it “boings,” it’s time for a potty break.  In a day and a half of being part-time in underwear, we have had no pee accidents and one poop accident.  That didn’t phase him in the slightest. He did not feel the need to mention it when it happened (on M’s watch, I might add), nor did he seem like he was trying to hide it in any way.

That’s the biggest potty-training obstacle for Daniel & me.  As excited as he is to wear big-boy underwear, and he is quite excited, he just doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about the accidents. With Rebecca, her accidents got her quite distressed.  Daniel? Meh, whatever.

At the Pond

At Target today, we picked out some special Lightning McQueen stickers that I plan on using for a special potty sticker chart. He’s a big fan of ice cream, so I’m thinking 10 stickers and he can get a treat from the ice cream truck or something.  Just in case, I got the 2-lb bag of M&Ms, too. [As a side note, Rebecca wanted her own Tinkerbell stickers. Trying to think of a sticker-chart-worthy behavior for her, since she's already got potty training in the bag, but is clearly perturbed at the sudden focus on Daniel.]

On tomorrow’s shopping list – a few bottles of wine for Mommy.

He won’t go to college in diapers, right?

Comments (7)
Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Toddlers
Tags : boys, potty training

2.5 + potty training = OMFG

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (16)·   February 27th, 2010

Right. So. Remember when I said my kids were potty trained? Well…

Rebecca is doing great. A superstar. I can think of only one accident in the last week. She can hold it, she tells me when she needs to go, she isn’t freaking out about poop the way some kids do, and she is perfectly willing to use the travel potty when we’re out and about. No problemo.

And then, there’s Daniel.  Oh, Daniel.

Sigh.

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know we’ve had a very, very difficult week.  Daniel has gotten hit HARD by the terrible-two-and-a-halfs.  Much like when he went through this phase back in October, he feels the need to be contrary AT ALL TIMES.  He pitches a fit that he doesn’t want breakfast.  Then he pitches a fit that he wants oatmeal. And raisins. NO RAISINS! I WANT RAISINS! NOT ON THAT SIDE OF THE PLACEMAT!  And this is all before 8:30am.  It goes on all day long.  If I ask him something or offer him something, he has to say no. I go to put it away, and he demands whatever he just declined. He claims to not want to play outside, not want to go to a friend’s house, not want to go to Starbucks. Riiight.  Sure ya don’t, buddy.

Worst of all, this has spilled over into potty training.  He did so well the first week.  Not perfect, but really well. He’d have a tiny accident (like small enough that a change of undies was not really necessary), stop himself, ask to use the potty, and finish. Brilliant.  No longer.

For one thing, he seems to have tuned out from listening to his body.  Now he has a full-on accident, and THEN tells me he needs to use the potty. When we’re at home, when we’re out. All over the damn place.  And, of course, if I ask him if he needs to go or ask him to sit and try before we leave the house… well, you can guess what the response is. “I don’t wanna! I don’t need to use the potty!”  Five minutes later… new pants. Again.  And did I mention he’s a notorious incomplete-emptier? The kid goes about a tablespoon at a time. Ugh.

The kicker is that sometimes he does well. Sometimes he asks to use the potty before he goes in his pants. Sometimes he poops in the potty.  He is very capable.  But much of the day, he tunes out and/or refuses all suggestion.  And those who have been through this will understand how it simply brought me to tears on Thursday night. Exhausted. Defeated. Broken. Sobbing.

So, friends, where do we go from here on the potty front?  Re-boot-camp?  New incentives? Back off and put on Pull-Ups for my own sanity?  As a general rule, I want to be as consistent as possible and don’t like going “backwards.” But I would also like to not end up in the looney bin.

And as for the behavior – pick my battles and ride it out? Be extra strict and nip the attitude in the bud? Start drinking heavily?

Comments (16)
Categories : Behavior, Child Development, Toddlers
Tags : control, defiance, potty training

Potty Trained*

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (12)·   February 17th, 2010

At my moms of twins club meeting this week, I gave away my remaining stash of diapers. Pampers Cruisers are now gone from my house, and both kids are in underwear.

(cue heavenly chorus)

If someone asked me if my kids are potty-trained, I would say yes. Yes, they wear underwear. Yes, they do their business in the potty. Yes, accidents are more the exception than the norm.

The moms of young kids, of course, know all about the asterisks that qualify my ‘yes.’ They still require a lot of reminders. They can’t go by themselves. The bedtime Pull-Ups** are not always kept dry.  For right now (and the immediately forseeable future) it’s a MUCH bigger hassle than diapers ever were.

And seriously, sometimes having two newly potty-trained toddlers seems like it’s going to push me straight over the edge. We bolt for the nearest bathroom (or discrete corner, or back of the minivan) at the slightest mention of “mommy, I need to use the potty.” They fight over who gets to use the little potty and who uses the seat on the big potty (we have one of each in both bathrooms). Daniel is king of the false alarm and, ahem, incomplete emptying. Rebecca refuses to “try” before we leave the house, but has to go the minute we arrive at the grocery store. There are times when it is incredibly hard for me to stay positive and patient, and there are times when I fail to do so.

But, still, we’ve made it over that first big hump.  The diapers are gone, the undies remain largely dry, and the potty is in use.

For anyone wondering, I took much the same approach with Daniel as I did with Rebecca. Last Saturday, we put on the undies and ditched the diapers, cold turkey.  Daniel proved much more open to suggestion and would pretty much pee on command. A handy skill, and his only accident on the first day was right before bedtime. Hell, we even threw caution to the wind and went out to dinner!

The trick is, of course, that they actually need the accidents to start to learn to listen to their bodies.  The second day included a few more accidents, but also progress (i.e. a very small accident that then led him to finish peeing on the potty). Overall, I found this second go-around less tense and stressful than my weekend with Rebecca, I think because he could (and was willing to) go more frequently.  On the other hand, I found myself a bit more tired and a bit less patient. I just wanted this part to be over.

I’m glad I separated the kids and didn’t attempt to work with both in the same weekend. I think we benefited from the ability to focus, and had all four of us been shut in the house for that much time, we might have killed each other.

Truth be told, I really have nothing to complain about.  Both kids are reasonably reliable after only a very short period of time. Clearly, they were “ready,” whatever that might mean. That’s not to say there was a lot of talk of potty and all of that before we started.  They seem to just have been cognitively/emotionally/physically ready.  And so passes one of the last big transitions of babyhood.  My big kids.

**Yes, we are using Pull-Ups for naptime and overnight. I don’t really think of them as a useful potty training tool, but I was not willing to mess with sleep in the name of the potty. I liked making the switch to Pull-Ups so that we could, even just in name, be totally done with “baby” diapers.  We call them “night-time undies,” and while they aren’t always kept dry, Rebecca for one is quite distressed when she pees or poops in them during naptime. I take that as a good sign, and will try to ditch them for naps within a month or two.

Comments (12)
Categories : Child Development, Toddlers
Tags : potty training

Attention-getter

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (4)·   February 12th, 2010

Two weeks after the big potty boot camp weekend, and Rebecca is doing very well. She is asking, unprompted, to use the potty with great regularity, and it’s almost never a false alarm.  I can think of only one single pee accident this week.  She is even willingly pooping on the potty, though that seems to be the main accident culprit.  Alas, it’s a work in progress, and it’s going well.  We are back to our normal level of outings, and she is more than willing to use the travel potty when we’re out of the house.

2.5

Enter, the twin dynamic.

paper & glue

Daniel has always wanted to do whatever Becca was doing (sometimes much to her chagrin, and leading to many fights over toys, etc.).  Once he realized she was getting an M&M for successful potty usage, he wanted in.  As it turns out, the kid can pretty much pee on command for candy.  I suspect that skill will come in handy.

On the flipside, Daniel has most certainly noticed that any time Becca mentions anything to do with “potty,” we drop everything for her.  By necessity, she is getting a lot of attention and a lot of praise.  And I think it’s driving him bonkers.

2.5

Oh my lord, has he been whiny this week.  Whiny and clingy, with a huge helping of attitude and sass.  On Monday, I thought it was just that he was punishing me for leaving for the weekend.  But the more I think about it, combined with a whole lot of extra “pick me up” and “can I sit on your lap?” and clearly the kid is feeling starved for attention.

I feel bad, of course.  Especially when home by myself with both kids during the day, it’s next to impossible to give quality one-on-one time to either of them.  And, since we’re still in a somewhat fragile state of potty-trained-ness, I do have to pay pretty close attention to Rebecca.  When you add in that her behavior has been much better than his, you can do the math on who’s getting the lion’s share of positive attention from mom this week.

Well, buddy, all that is about to change.  This weekend, it’s your turn.  You and me, one-on-one, all weekend long.  All the attention, all the praise I’ve got, is going to you.  Potty training boot camp, take 2.

2.5

I’m pretty exhausted just in anticipation, but I have reasonably high hopes that at least the pee-on-command bit will come in handy.  And here’s to hoping all of that attention will help to turn his behavior around.  Either we’re going to have a great weekend, or I’m going to want to kill him.

Comments (4)
Categories : Behavior, Toddlers
Tags : attention, potty training

Whatever it takes

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (12)·   February 3rd, 2010

Things I have used to bribe/entice/reward my daughter for using the potty in the last five days:

  • M&Ms
  • Games on my iPhone
  • Books
  • Songs
  • Congratulatory phone calls to
    • Daddy
    • Grandma
    • Grandpa
    • Aunt Rachel
  • Pennies (for her “collection”)

We may be turning a bit of a corner, in that she has finally started telling me that she needs to use the potty. It is often a false alarm, but I’ve been praising her and thanking her for telling me, even if there’s no actual production.

Our first trip out of the house yesterday afternoon was not terribly successful.  We went to a playdate at a friend’s house, but it turns out to have been the most gargantuan playdate yet.  Our previous record for number of kids was 12, but yesterday was a whopping 18 kids, all but one under the age of 3.  It proved to be a bit much for Rebecca, who had two small and two larger accidents in quick succession.  She was clearly sort of trying to hold it, but also wouldn’t release when I scooped her up and sat her on the potty. Alas, work in progress.  And despite bringing a few changes, she rode home with no pants.  What can you do…

This morning, however, was much better.  She had a spontaneous ask-to-use-the-potty moment that, when I let her play a game on my phone in an effort to keep her on the potty for more than 3 seconds, actually resulted in success!  Yipee!  We then had a totally dry trip to music class (with one false-alarm potty request, and yes, I had the travel potty set up discretely in the corner), and followed it up with an accident-free stop at Starbucks.

Someday, I promise, I’ll stop writing about potty training…

Comments (12)
Categories : Out and about, Toddlers
Tags : accidents, potty training

The jury is still out

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (10)·   February 1st, 2010

O hai.

Guess what? Potty training hasn’t killed me! I’m not sure I yet believe that it has, in any way, made me stronger. But I’m not dead yet.

As I talked about on HDYDI today, we went for the cold-turkey approach with Becca.  I more or less followed the advice given in the 3-Day Potty Training eBook.  Saturday morning, we said goodbye to diapers and put her in underwear.  I was then glued to her side for the next three days.

Holy shit, is that exhausting.

So, I kind of pride myself on having fairly independent kids. While I’m obviously with them all the time, we get out to a lot of classes and activities where they can do their own thing. I don’t usually spend an entire day attempting to entertain them.

In order to really devote my attention to Becca, I sent M out with Daniel for as much of the weekend as possible.  M did a great job, took Daniel all over the place, and they really had a great time. I think it was a nice weekend for both of them, and I was glad to not have any extra distractions. I highly recommend doing the same if you find yourself trying to do potty boot camp with one kid and not another.

We did pretty much whatever she felt like doing. Stamps, finger painting, puzzles, books, an extra episode of TV here and there.  I really wanted to pick my battles selectively and not get into too many avoidable discipline situations, so it was kind of anything-goes for activities.  As long as it involved staying in the house.

Stuck in the house

Anyways, if I tell you the first day by the numbers, it won’t sound so bad: one success, three or four accidents.  Yep, that’s it.  My girl can, and does, hold it.  I suspect that, in the long term, this will prove to be a very good thing.  But in trying to train her, it doesn’t provide a lot of “teachable moments.”  It’s a lot of waiting, waiting, waiting… staring… asking… suggesting… building tension… and then an accident.  So, while there was not a lot of clean-up to deal with, there also was no sense of learning or progress.

And I had a wicked knot in my shoulder and tension headache. Apparently you hold your head in a weird position when staring at a 2-year-old all day.

Day two was, in a word, frustrating.  Again, she can hold it for hours, so it’s a lot of waiting for a single event. Still, not a lot of messes. But also not many chances for success and reinforcement.  It was particularly frustrating as I watched her squirm and dance around and stall and distract and delay around lunchtime, when I knew she needed to go. She sat on the potty several times, to no avail.  Forcing her to stay put seemed like the wrong approach, but as soon as she was happily playing with trains… accident.  Argh.

In the meantime, she was clearly a little stressed by this big transition, and/or had picked up on the fact that I was trying to choose my battles.  Her behavior went, pardon the expression, down the toilet. Sass, attitude, throwing things, grabbing things. I went back to our usual counting of poor behavior and things got a touch better.  But a late-day accident sent her into over-dramatic wails.  In a sense, I was sort of glad to see that having the accident bothered her, but the histrionics were really not what I was in the mood to deal with.

At the end of day two, I was beyond tired and frustrated and wanted to throw in the towel. After a little time to space out and cool off after the kids went to bed, I talked it over with M and we agreed that this is a no-going-back kind of approach. If we give up and do diapers again, we lose our credibility for the next time. Best to just suck it up.

Going into today, day three, I was both steeled and nervous. No longer could I send Daniel off for the day with M, so now I had both kids cooped up in the house for another day, only one of whom was potty training.  But we may be on the upswing.  Morning had two successes and no accidents.  The naptime Pull-Up was dry (yes, we’re using Pull-Ups for nap and bedtime).  There was a late-afternoon accident that I tried to prevent but didn’t quite make it, and then another success before bedtime.  Three-to-one, the balance swung back in the right direction. Plus, the kids could entertain each other, so I could simply supervise much of the time instead of constantly playing cruise director.

Stuck in the house

Still tired, but spirits improving. I hesitate to call it an unqualified win, as all of today’s successes were led by me. I have yet to have her just stop, tell me she needs to use the potty, and then do so.  It’s been a lot of me watching her for signs of pausing, agitation, or other clues that she needs to go.  Sometimes she’ll decide to give it a shot, sometimes not.

That said, I declare Rebecca done with diapers. We aren’t going back. It will continue to be a work in progress, obviously, but she is now in underwear during waking hours.

And, so help me God, we are leaving the damned house tomorrow.  All of this staying in goes completely counter to my entire parenting ethos.  Playdate, here we come.

I’ll bring a change of clothes.

Comments (10)
Categories : Toddlers
Tags : boot camp, potty training
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