More answers to your questions and a few thoughts on finding out I was having “just one” this time.
Did you secretly hope it was twins?
Did you convince yourself there were two, just in case?
Are you excited to be pregnant with just one?
Any differences in the pregnancy so far?
Before I was actually pregnant, I will admit that there was a small part of me that secretly wanted a second set of twins. More as a theoretical thing, not so much reality. And, truth be told, I might have liked another pair for the baby’s sake. I think what my older kids have is so incredibly cool, I’m almost sad for my singleton that he/she won’t have that. And yes, I do worry a little bit that the little one might feel left out when the older kids are doing their “twin thing.” But I think that’s just as much of a concern with their age difference as it is with the twin-ness versus single-ness.
But for my sake? I only wanted one. As my 8-week ultrasound approached, I worked myself into a total panic. My friend R can attest to that, as she kindly let me drop my kids off at her house so I could go to the appointment without them. I could barely talk to her at all. While my history of miscarriage had me afraid of getting the news that something was wrong, I can say I was equally petrified of seeing two. The reality of having to go through that first 3 (18?) months with twins again smacked me in the face. Obviously, I’d do it. I already know I can. But man, I sure would rather not. I so wanted the experience of a single baby. So portable, so flexible. And I can carry him/her and still have another hand! Fancy that! There was maybe 1% disappointed when the ultrasound tech looked around and pronounced that there was just one. 99% was utterly relieved.
So yes, I’m pretty darn excited to be pregnant with “just one,” and am especially looking forward to having “just one” newborn. I mean, I know. Newborns are not easy. They’re up at all hours, in what my friend KathyB so aptly called the “newborn casino.” You have no idea what time it is, and frankly, it hardly matters. I have to make another attempt at getting breastfeeding to work. I will be physically and sometimes emotionally exhausted. I acknowledge this. But still. It’s JUST ONE. Wow. Throw that kid in a carrier and off we go. I’m glad that I became a MOT on the first try for a great number of reasons, but I think I am especially grateful for the fact that I can recognize the easier parts for what they are. When you’re a first-timer, especially of two, you don’t think about how surprisingly flexible those first weeks are. No nap schedule, they fall asleep easily in the carseat, all they really want is to nurse. Now? Now I can see the benefits of that age and intend to take advantage of them while I can.
Back to the present moment, I’m noticing only minor differences so far between this pregnancy and the last. I think my first trimester was pretty similar – I was never nauseous, was always tired. I suppose it’s possible I was, somehow, more tired last time. But if that’s the case, it’s not a noticeable/memorable difference. I was pretty damn tired around week 11, regardless. I noticed my pants getting tighter around the same time, maybe 9 weeks, and also started wearing maternity pants around the same time, about 12 weeks. But while part of that can be attributed to the fact that many people report “showing” earlier with their second pregnancy, I think just as much of it is that I already knew the joys of maternity pants and saw no reason to put off making the switch. Aaaaahhh, elastic… Frankly, though, I can tell I’m not growing at nearly the exponential rate I was last time. Still putting on weight, sadly, but that’s more to do with my total lack of willpower to control my food intake while pregnant. Whatever, I’ll deal with that next April.
I can see other noticeable differences coming, especially with regard to how I’m treated at the OB’s office. No level-II ultrasounds. No maternal-fetal-medicine specialist visits at the hospital. Hell, it’s just ONE 19-week ultrasound in the office across the hall, and that may be it for the duration. Really? Last time I had nearly 20 ultrasounds, and they were nearly all at the hospital. It’s weird to be so low-risk.
There you have it, the round-up on my feelings thus far on one as compared to two. I’m sure there will be plenty more as time goes by!
So, I cooked up a storm (brisket, latkes with homemade applesauce, and noodle kugel). The kids had their first latkes, and Rebecca, for one, is solidly anti-sour cream. Later, we lit the candles and played dreidel for money. Actually, none of us (M included) had ever played dreidel, and we fairly quickly decided it’s kind of boring. So we switched to the similarly-inspired 
In high school, I was really into music, and was dead-set on becoming a high school orchestra director. I only looked at colleges that offered music education majors. I was completely and utterly focused on that goal. Long story short, I realized I didn’t like playing my instrument for a grade (and really, really sucked at practicing), and dropped the major after one single solitary semester. Ah, college!
