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Race Report

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (15)·   November 25th, 2011

Thanksgiving morning started awfully early. I set my alarm for 5:45, but as always seems to happen when I have an early wake-up call, I was up at 4:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. I then had the supreme pleasure of waking up everyone else in my family at about 6:15. Believe me, M is absolutely charming at that hour.

Off we drove to the Feaster Five.  We were there bright and early for the 7:45am Kids’ K, which is actually a series of kids’ races broken up by age.  The four-and-under crowd ran 100 yards on a paved track, but they even had a gated chute and a big finish line, so it felt just as “real” as the adult race, not to mention race shirts just like their parents and bibs to pin to the front.

Thanksgiving race

It was a mob scene, so I ran with Rebecca while Daniel zoomed ahead. (Yes, that was me attempting to take photos while jogging. Daniel is in the gray jacket, Rebecca is the pink hood right in front of me.)  They even had a police officer on a motorcycle start them off, and they all got finisher medals at the end.  While it was over practically before it began, they were both very excited to do it and felt like they had a great story to tell.

Thanksgiving Race

At that point, there was still a good half hour until the start of my race, and M had three kids outside in 32-degree weather. He headed back to the car to let everyone warm up and make strategic use of the van’s DVD player. I made my way to the starting area. Holy crap.

Thanksgiving Race

They capped registrations at 10,000 this year. It was an unbelievable mass of people.  But it was a beautiful morning and everyone seemed to be in a great mood. Sunny and clear, cold but not frigid. Perfect running temperature if you ask me – I’d much rather run in 30 degrees than 70. I hung out by the 10-minute-mile pace sign (which is NOT my pace, but the next one after that was walkers, dogs, and strollers), and between smartphones and sheer luck, I actually managed to find the other people I knew running the race.

Thanksgiving Race

When they blew the starting horn, my area of the pack (probably about halfway between the start and the way back of the crowd) barely moved. It took a full five minutes to get across the start, but then the congestion eased up and it wasn’t too mobbed to run.  Oh yes, people were passing me on all sides. But I just trotted along at my pokey pace, reminding myself that it didn’t matter in the slightest what anyone else was doing. The other 9,999 people could do whatever they wanted, I just needed to keep running. My goal: don’t walk. No matter how slow I go, don’t stop.

Thanksgiving Race

Of course, that was immediately put to the test. The second half-mile was a brutal hill. Thankfully, I knew it was coming – I had read about it and had actually driven it a few days earlier when we picked up our race bibs. But holy crap, it was nasty. I arguably could have walked faster than I was “running,” but on I chugged. At the top of the hill, the 5K course split off to the left while the 5-mile course continued straight ahead. Sadly, it did not, then, turn downhill. No, I’m sorry to say that pretty much the entire first half of the race continued to be a gentle uphill. Occasionally flat, but the overall trend was definitely up. As the course took a few turns, I rounded each corner and couldn’t believe it was still an ever-so-slight incline.  But dammit, I was still going.

It was right at about the 2.5-mile mark that it finally, blessedly turned downhill. I let out a very audible “oh thank God!”  My Nike+ app announced the time in my ear every half mile, and I was right around where I wanted to be. Making decent time, even.  Given my pace in previous runs, I guessed my pace would be somewhere between 12:30 and 13:00 per mile – slow as hell, but that’s how I roll.  I really wanted to keep it under 13 and finish in under 1 hour and 6 minutes, but I’d take what I could get.  Thankfully, much of the second half was downhill, and downhill is just free speed.

Around the 3.5 mile point, the course joined back up with the 5K people.  By that time, anyone left on the 5K were walking groups of families and strollers and dogs (it was a very family-friendly race and walkers were welcome), so it was a bit more congested, but not too bad.  Everything was very clearly marked, and the whole race was very nicely organized.  I was in a pretty good groove, no longer having to convince myself to keep going with every.single.step.  I knew the end was in sight.

The final half mile was more crowded – 5K walkers to my left, and long-since-finished runners to my right, walking the other direction to their cars.  But even still, I only had to dodge around a couple of people, nothing problematic. I turned the final corner, and the last tenth-or-so of a mile to the finish line is one final, nasty hill.  But damned if I was stopping now, and I knew my cheering section was waiting for me.  The Nike+ voice chimed in my ear, “five miles, completed. One hour, one minute.”  I couldn’t believe it was even possible.  I saw my family, I gave my kids a high five at the very top of the hill and turned to hit those finish mats.  I hit stop on the app and looked down to see my time.

5.08 miles. One hour, two minutes, forty seconds. Pace: 12:19.

I burst into tears.

Plenty of people would think that was a terrible time. Hell, there wasn’t even a pace group for it at the start – just 10-minute miles and then walkers.  I was something like finisher number 2500 out of 2700 in the five-mile group. WHATEVER. 12:19 is about the best pace I’ve run recently on 2- or 3-mile runs, so the fact that I managed to AVERAGE that pace for FIVE WHOLE MILES, a distance I had never, ever run before… I was so proud of myself, I thought I would burst.

Thanksgiving Race

We don’t stop and say that too often, do we? Admit that we’re proud of ourselves?  I mean, deadly sin and all that.  But this wasn’t a chest-puffing, boasting kind of pride.  This was about the fact that I am not a natural-born runner. I have short legs and am entirely too heavy. I’ve never been an athlete.  But I worked my ass off for this. For the last eight weeks, I have had a training schedule written in my calendar and have followed it as best as I possibly could. I worked for this. I fought for it. I earned it.  And not only did I accomplish it, but I did it even a little better than I thought I would.

By last night, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to walk anymore. I limped up and down the stairs, my left knee and right foot being the biggest complainers.  But the soreness is fading, and the glow of accomplishment is still sticking around. I’m asking what’s next.

I need to sign up for another race. Not because I adore running – I still have to fight for nearly every slow step.  But I need the goal and the deadline to keep me going, because the couch is too tempting.  I’m not going to dramatically up the distance. I’m not ready for that from a fitness standpoint, nor can I commit the amount of time it would take to train.  But I want to keep going. I need to.

It doesn’t matter how slowly I go, only that I do not stop.

Comments (15)
Categories : Holidays, Just me
Tags : Feaster Five, NaBloPoMo, running, Thanksgiving

Four Miles

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (13)·   November 6th, 2011

I ran four miles this morning.

I have many friends for whom that would be an easy weekday run, easily completed in under 40 minutes and ready to get on with their day.

For me? It’s the longest I have ever run. It took me close to an hour, and I had to tell myself to just keep moving the entire time. It was mostly pride that made me not walk.  I ended up with a massive headache that hung around for our entire three-hour drive home, and only backed off with three bottles of water, two Tylenol, and a quiet catnap in my own bed.

I don’t know if it was simple dehydration, over-exertion, or some other trick I’m missing. Runners in the know, any tips?

That's a lot of tequila

Or, it’s possible I shouldn’t have three shots of tequila and a margarita the night before I run. Maybe. Though, in my defense, I get this kind of headache post-run even when there’s no hard alcohol involved.

All that said, it was as nice a run as I could hope for. Directly outside of my hotel was access to a beautiful, paved, flat trail that meandered back and forth across a quiet river.  It was cold enough that I was fully dressed and ready to go, and then checked the weather and decided to give it another hour to warm up. But in my layers, I would happily take all of my runs on a clear 25-degree day. Beats the hell out of anything over 70 degrees if you ask me.  I even felt, somewhere around that last half mile, that I could have gone to five miles if I really needed to. It would have been hard, but I could have done it. It gives me hope for my Thanksgiving race. I might go at a snail’s pace, but I seem to have found the pace that works for me right now.

Cold weather running layers

I was thinking today, in the midst of my throbbing headache, why in the hell it is that I run.  I don’t exactly enjoy it. It kinda hurts, sometimes a lot.  It’s not something I have a particular talent for. I’m certainly never going to win a race, unless it’s me and a bunch of octogenarians with walkers.  And yet, right now, I absolutely run for the race.  I do it because the race is a clear and concrete goal, because the training plan is explicit in its steps to get to that goal. Because it’s still not enough a part of my routine that I can do it automatically, it helps me to have a sense of obligation.  I also like that I can easily quantify my progress – that I ran farther or faster today than last week. As my friend Jane and I discussed a few weeks ago, there is so little in our day-to-day parenting life that has an easily quantifiable outcome, it’s nice to have a discrete accomplishment we can point to. (OK, in her case, it was an actual marathon. For me, it was four miles. To each her own.)

Anyways, on my last morning of mini-vacation, when I could have stayed lazily in bed until check-out time, I went for a run. And while I sincerely wish I could have skipped that pounding headache, I’m proud that I made the choice to go, and finished as strong as I know how.

Comments (13)
Categories : Just me
Tags : exercise, NaBloPoMo, running

Running, again

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (17)·   October 17th, 2011

I’ve started running again.

Let’s be clear, I use the word “run” very, very generously. It’s kind of a bouncy limp, only marginally faster than actual walking, yet somehow a whole lot harder. But since that is kind of awkward to say, I’ll just say “run” and you can insert your own mental picture.

I was off and on with Couch to 5K for the summer and into the early fall, and ran in a race a few weeks ago. While I am proud that I did not walk (with a nasty head cold, no less), it was an absolutely pitiful finish.  41 minutes to travel three miles. 13-minute miles. A full minute-per-mile slower than the race I did a year and a half ago, and let’s not forget that, for that race, my right calf was so jacked up I could barely walk and ended up in months of physical therapy.

But I did it. Dammit, I did it.  Every step of the way, I repeat my mantra: it does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.  If the internet is to be believed, that’s Confucius, but even if that’s a big fat lie, it’s still my mantra. It’s what I have to keep telling myself as I slowly bob along.

I’m trying not to get discouraged. I’m trying to let go of being frustrated at how damn hard it is for me to run a mile in less than 13 pathetic minutes. I’m trying not to be ashamed of that.  I’m trying to just accept that fitness and weight management (ha!) is something I will ALWAYS have to work on. Sometimes I’ll be in a better groove than others, but it will never come easily or naturally. There won’t be a magic fix, I’m not going to finally hit on that one winning strategy that will stick forever and end my struggle.  It will always be hard, it will always require attention and purpose. I will work hard to get good habits going, and then slowly or spectacularly, I will fall off the wagon and have to find my way back.  That’s just how it goes for me.

So here I am, trying. Again.

After my friends and I huffed and puffed through that 5K, before my face had even come down from its beet-red state, we decided to sign up for another race together. Five miles, Thanksgiving morning. Two miles farther than the three that just felt like it might kill me.

It seems a little insane by my standards, but here I am, on week three of an 8K training program.  I have learned there are a few good strategies to try to keep myself on track: a deadline (no changing the date of the race that I’ve already registered and paid for!), a clear plan (this program has something scheduled six out of seven days), and peer pressure/public commitment (I’ve told everyone I’m doing this race, and have recruited others to sign up, too).  The only thing missing is making an actual bet with someone for a substantial amount of cash.  Laugh if you want, but my intrinsic motivation is pretty low at the moment. I need something external to kick my ass out onto the pavement.

ymca5k

It hasn’t become a good routine yet, something I can do on auto-pilot. Every day, I’m grasping at how and when to get the workout done, between preschool and naps and doctor’s appointments. But as much as I possibly can, I’m getting it done. I don’t want to collapse on Thanksgiving morning, after all.

I’ve even gotten the big kids involved. They love the idea of running a race, like Mommy. Which pretty much makes all of the sore muscles and over-exertion headaches worth it. Because really, me? Being the example for physical fitness? Wow.  Sure, they ask if I am going to win the race. I try not to laugh as I assure them that I am definitely not going to win, just that I am running for (ahem) fun and to be (ahem) strong and healthy.  So, on Thanksgiving, they’ll suit up with me, pin a bib to their bellies, and run that 100-yard dash for the four-year-olds. And I will be so proud of them.

laps in the yard

And, hopefully, I’ll be proud of me, too.

It won’t be fast. It won’t be pretty. But dammit, I am going to finish that race.

Comments (17)
Categories : Just me
Tags : couch to 5k, exercise, running, weight loss

Taking control

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (23)·   April 3rd, 2011

A huge part of my life is outside of my control right now. I can’t actively do anything to get Eleanor home any faster. Any progress she makes, or setbacks she has, are her own. The conditions of her release from the hospital, and the timeline for that release, are not up to me.  We are really no closer to any kind of diagnosis for her, nor do I have any kind of prognosis for what her (and, by extension, my) life will be like as she grows.

Life is, in large part, on hold. Friends and family are starting to talk summer plans, and I don’t feel like I have any idea what to put on the schedule, or what kinds of commitments I can make.  It’s frustrating, for a planner like me. It’s hard not to have any idea what’s coming in the next few months, or what my constraints will be.

For now, we have a tentative, temporary “normal.” Ellie was transferred back to our local hospital to wait out the next few weeks before she has another swallow study downtown. The transit time for visiting her is a fraction of the commute we’ve had for the last few weeks, which opens up quite a bit more flexibility in my day (well, around pumping and visiting and preschool and naps… it’s all relative).

So, dammit, I am going to exercise.  I jumped back on the Shredheads bandwagon and am doing the April Ripped in 30 Challenge. I snapped my (fairly horrifying) before pictures, I stepped on the scale. Yes, I’m only five weeks postpartum. But I have been itching to get back to real exercise for my entire pregnancy. I waited two years last time. Not again.  After two days, my legs are so sore I can barely walk up the stairs. But it will get better.

I also went to a local running store and got fitted for a new pair of shoes. Couch-to-5K, I am coming back.  I want to run a 5K this summer, and my big goal is to run a 10K in October.

I know plenty of you are rolling your eyes and shaking your head and calling me insane. It’s true. I probably am, a little.  But this is one of the few areas of my life where I can grab hold and take control.  I want this.  I want it badly.  I need to get physically strong again.  I need it for me, and I need to be that person for my kids.

Bring it.

Comments (23)
Categories : Hospital, Just me
Tags : couch to 5k, exercise, Jillian Michaels, NICU, Ripped in 30, running, Shredheads

Don’t call it a resolution

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (20)·   January 2nd, 2010

It was over four months ago that I began my most recent battle of the bulge. First, it was a wager among friends as to who could lose the most weight in a month.  I won (though I have yet to cash in my prize – dinner on them).  Then, a slightly larger competition amongst other blogging types, Biggest Loser rules (% of weight lost in 6 weeks). I came in second.

And then, in October, I became a Shredhead.  In addition to the ass-kicking provided by Jillian, I found a great support system via Twitter, and that has really helped carry me and push me throughout the fall.  Exercise became a routine. Weekly weight loss became the norm.  If it weren’t for that pesky 2 weeks in Chicago, I might have even made my weight loss goal (I’m close, just a few weeks later than I hoped).

I’ve started to get into a rut, though. A little bored with my exercise routine.  A lot of Shredheads, I noticed, took up running.  Oy, running. I have always hated it. I have always sucked at it. I’ve even tried the Couch-to-5K (C25K) program once or twice, and failed miserably. I’m not sure I made it to the second week.

But that Jillian, she gets into your head.  While still overweight, I’m getting a lot more fit. I started to think about running again. A 5K is 3.1 miles.  I can do that. I can do that.  So I decided to shake it up and do the C25K again. Treadmill, this time, to control my pace. Not that I planned on becoming a runner, but more as a straight physical accomplishment.  Something I should be able to do. Something I will do.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I do better if I have a goal in mind. A fixed point towards which to move.  Clearly, I need a race. One in the vicinity of the end of this training program.  Except, well, how many 5Ks are there in Massachusetts in March?  Seriously, it could be 75 or it could be a blizzard, there’s just no telling.

Enter the Shredheads, several of whom are running the Disney Princess Half Marathon in March.  In Orlando.  Oh… would you look at that… there’s also a 5K as a part of those festivities!  Florida in March is nice, not cold but not too warm….  And would you believe it, kids under 3 don’t need a ticket to get into the parks…?

Last night, I signed up.

I don’t yet know how exactly we’re getting there, where we’ll stay, or any of those other pesky details.

But I signed up for a 5K. In Disney World.  On March 6. Nine weeks from today.

I’m on week 4 of C25K, and that five whole minutes of running is kicking my ass.  Did I mention that there was ONE time, in high school, that I ran a whole mile?  ONE TIME. EVER.

I have lost my mind.  But, hey, I’ve also lost nearly all of my baby weight.  Might be an acceptable trade off.

Comments (20)
Categories : Just me
Tags : 5K, Disney Princess Half Marathon, disney world, exercise, running, Shredheads, weight loss
   

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