Second Pregnancy | Goddess in Progress

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Eating My Words

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (15)· December 6th, 2010

I’ve long been skeptical of these stand-alone elective ultrasound businesses. I couldn’t tell you exactly why, but probably because it seems a little like getting a medical procedure at a non-medical establishment. I don’t know, maybe it smacked of hypochondriacs? It would also bug me when I’d read about the women on the Babycenter message boards who would spend a few hundred bucks to go for a 3-D gender check at like 14 weeks, because they simply couldn’t wait the extra three weeks until their already-scheduled 17-week anatomy scan.

Whatever, people. Seriously, you can’t wait three whole weeks? It bugged me, is all I’m saying.

And then, sometime in the last couple of weeks, it started to creep into my brain.

I was so spoiled during my theoretically-high-risk twin pregnancy (in which, thankfully, nothing ever went wrong). I had so many ultrasounds, I lost count. If my blog is an accurate record, the complete tally looks to be 17. I got to see the babies often, which was always happily reassuring. This time? A whopping TWO ultrasounds? Seriously, I had the anatomy scan at just shy of 19 weeks, and that’s probably going to be it. I wouldn’t even have a late-third-trimester scan to see if the baby is vertex, because with a repeat c-section, who the hell cares? I miss all of those little ultrasound visits.

But, if I’m being completely honest, the major driving factor behind wanting another ultrasound was the relative uncertainty the tech expressed in the baby’s gender. Seriously, that 20-25% was bugging the crap out of me. I know, I know. Our mothers NEVER had a single ultrasound. All that really matters is that the baby is happy and healthy. I would be happy either way. I KNOW. But I’m a planner. I have clothes to buy, quilts to make, names to choose. And while I’m not an over-the-top pink-and-frilly kind of person, I would rather not have a wardrobe comprised exclusively of yellow and green. Call me superficial, I don’t care. That’s how I roll.

Anyways, after much hemming and hawing and an “oh, just do it already!” from M, I made the call and made the appointment. Goldenview Ultrasound in Brookline was the only place I found nearby, and it got a good recommendation from someone in my moms-of-twins club. The rates were reasonable (especially on a weekday). I figured, if I was going to pay out-of-pocket for an ultrasound, I might as well get the 3D photos, but I definitely didn’t need the DVDs, the heartbeat recording in a stuffed animal (creepy!), or any of that other silliness. Just a nice look, that’s all.

It was not medically necessary. It was a luxury. Chalk it up to straight entertainment. And you know what? It was totally worth it. It was so freaking cool.

For one thing, the baby is pretty well confirmed to, indeed, be a GIRL. We did an initial 2D scan, and even to this unprofessional eye, I could tell we were looking at girl bits. Excited to be welcoming another girl, and much relieved to have as good a bit of confirmation as we can reasonably get.

Also? I kind of think she looks like Rebecca in that picture (above). Not 100%, but that was my first reaction.

Ignore the weirdly cut-off arm in the picture (I swear, she has two hands and 10 fingers, we saw them), tell me that’s not the cutest freaking baby yawn you’ve ever seen?

She had her hands up by her face for a large portion of the time we were looking. Several times, she seemed to be gnawing/sucking on her forearm. It will be fascinating to see if that’s a habit she has on the outside.

So, pride swallowed, words eaten. Baby visualized, gender confirmed.

All is well.

Did you have any 3D or elective ultrasounds when you were pregnant? Do you think you would?

Comments (15)

Categories : Pregnancy, Ultrasounds

Tags : 3D ultrasound, elective ultrasound, second pregnancy, singleton vs. twins

Spilling the beans

By Goddess in Progress · Comments (15)· August 31st, 2010

Thanks to everyone for the kind words on yesterday’s big announcement. I have to admit, there has been a strange feeling of anxiety or ambivalence about spreading the news. A little less unbridled excitement than the first time. Still excited, of course, but subtly different.

Is it a second-pregnancy thing, simply that the sheen of newness is not there? That I’ve been down this road before? The fact that having an additional child, while a big deal, is not the earth-shattering change that the first is, when you go from being a Non-Parent to a Parent?

Is it because this was, at least to the outside world, less anticipated than the first time? I mean, the first time around, you could practically have set a clock to it. We made the announcement after having been married a little more than two years. Clearly, people were watching to see if I was drinking or if I looked a bit peaky. This time, well, almost no one knew it was coming. We already had two kids, a boy and a girl. People occasionally asked if we were thinking about more, but not with the intensity that they would if we only had one child. And the response was always the same – probably not. (More on how that changed in another post, I promise.)

I felt the strangest sense of… I don’t know… embarrassment? guilt? apology? when I told people. It was like, I wanted to tell good friends so they wouldn’t be caught off guard when they suddenly saw an enormous belly or a picture of a newborn on Facebook. But I felt weirdly compelled to downplay the announcement, wanting to be clear that I was happy but not trying to make a Big Honking Deal about the whole thing.

But, of course, it IS a big deal. It’s a new person! It’s exciting! It’s cause for celebration! I know I give a good shriek and a hearty “hooray” whenever a friend tells me they’re pregnant, why would I expect any different? And, as you guys demonstrated yesterday, the vast majority of reactions were excited and happy and congratulatory, and I thank everyone for that. But before I had you all to rally around me, I will say that I had a few initially lukewarm reactions that really gave me pause. “Was it planned?” “Are you happy about it?” “Oh, good for you.” I don’t know. Maybe it’s because, as in the case of my mom, she was so surprised that she was nearly speechless and hardly knew what to say. But anyways, a couple of the first calls were a little underwhelming.

For those who asked, we have not yet told the kids, but plan on doing so soon. M and I have agreed not to make a big production out of it. We’ll simply sit down, say we have some exciting news about a baby growing in mommy’s belly, and more or less leave it at that until they ask questions. Especially since they’re about to start preschool and have plenty of other things going on in their lives, I don’t want to put any undue emphasis on this announcement, especially since the actual impact on their lives is so far away. It will become a Big Honking Deal in its own time, no need to set it up too big for now.

So, there we are. The cat is out of the bag, and the anticipation was worse (as usual) than reality. You guys are awesome, I’m psyched, and I’m glad I don’t have to make any more obscure excuses for going to bed at 8:30pm (or why my pants are being buttoned with a rubber band).

Comments (15)

Categories : Pregnancy

Tags : announcement, more kids after multiples, second pregnancy