Well, OK, two years and five months, but whatever. As of this morning, I am back to the weight I was when I got pregnant. Three years ago.

This goal is only sort of a mid-point to me.  A good goal. An important one.  One that I’m proud to have achieved. But far, far from the end.

Five months ago, I weighed 226 pounds. Two hundred twenty six. There, I said it. It’s out there. You know. I can hardly describe how ashamed I am of that number, not to mention how long I sat there.  And how long I looked like this:

August 17, 2009. That’s me. HUGE. Horrified.  But however long it took, a switch flipped. Time for a long overdue change.

Weight Watchers, EA Sports Active, Jillian Michaels, my gym’s childcare room, the Shredheads, Twitter, and Couch to 5K. Five months. Twenty-six pounds.  And now I am here:

The thing is, I still weigh 200 pounds.  I am still, by all objective measures, fat. Obese, even. I’m way, way heavier than I ought to be. I am not proud of my weight. My body is distributed completely differently than it was the last time I was at this weight. So much more belly, now. And the loss of volume is revealing some rather alarming “twin skin.” I am not happy with where I am right now.

But.

While I’m not setting any speed records on weight loss, but it has been steady. In the 20+ weeks I’ve been counting, I have lost something all but about three weeks.  I am proud of that.  This weekend, I finally was able to buy some new jeans. It took more than 20 pounds, but I went down a pants size. I am proud of that. I am stronger, happier, more in control. I have not purchased a pint of ice cream since August. My kids see me put on my sneakers and say “you have on your exercising shoes!” I am proud of that.

I am proud of this:

And this is why you take a “before” picture. I hate mine.  It makes me want to cry.  But you know what? If I didn’t have it as a comparison, then today’s picture would also make me cry.  Putting them together lets me see progress, however gradual, however slow.

Onward.

I’ve already written about my current exercise/fitness goal, but I also need a new weight-specific goal.  So here it is: I want to have a BMI that is simply “overweight” instead of “obese.”  That’s 21 more pounds.  For a rough timeframe, I think I should be able to do it by June.

Bring it.

October is done, which means that the October Shredheads Challenge is complete.  I have to say, I’m pretty proud of myself!  With pretty much only a single exception, I stuck to my plan of doing the Shred 3x/week, and going to the gym 2x/week.  I did pretty well on my food/Points, too.** The end result in numerical terms is that I’m down 5.5 pounds from October 1-31, for a total of 15 pounds overall.  Only about 11 more pounds to go on my end-of-the-year pre-pregnancy weight goal. Woot!

The big asterisks on that one was our weekend away.  The food was a total disaster because I made virtually no effort to stick with the plan and just ate whatever the hell I wanted.  The payback was a pound and a half gain. Boo!  It was also surprisingly difficult to get back with the program after I got home. I was feeling pretty defeated for a few days last week.  I think the big difference was that I went whole hog off the wagon that weekend.  Other days that I’ve allowed myself indulgences, they were pretty limited. Maybe a single bad day, or single bad meal, but otherwise I was pretty good.  Last weekend, it was a free-for-all, and I paid for it.  Thankfully, I found my way back to the plan and have erased the gain.

I have noticed something very interesting recently, with regard to eating. We were taking the kids out for lunch at a nearby Tex-Mex restaurant (not a good diet choice, of course, but I survived).  As I was sitting on my hands and biting my lip to avoid the bowl of chips, I started to say, “but I’m just so huuungry!”  And then I stopped halfway through my whine and realized that it simply wasn’t true.  I wasn’t hungry.  I’m just not really that hungry anymore.

Obviously, I get hungry.  But not as often as I think I will.  Not as badly as when I first started counting my points (when all you can think about is how fricking hungry you are).  And most of the time, when I start to have the thought I’m hungry, I’m actually not.  I’m munchy. I want.  But that’s not the same as being hungry.

And that, I suppose, is where the larger struggle actually lies.  The hard part of sticking with a weight loss plan is not hunger.  It’s those munchy, snacky, WANT feelings that got you to this point in the first place.

So, I will continue to fight the good fight. Drink more water to stave off the munchies. Exercise or sew or catch up on the DVR instead of eating. Exercise some more.  And exercise a little more after that. There is much more work to be done.

First of all, might I mention that I have a guest post up at Loser Moms? It’s about my first attempt at the 30-Day Shred DVD, and how it almost killed me.

My efforts at weight loss and getting in shape are going well, even if I sometimes wish it would go faster.  But I have set myself some medium- and long-term goals that I think will be a challenge but are realistically doable.  The first goal is to lose my remaining 16 pounds of post-pregnancy weight by Christmas.  It’s a mental milestone for me, as it was just after Christmas, three years ago, that I learned I was pregnant (and, thus, when the “baby weight” ticker started going up).  It’s not a given that I’ll achieve it, but it can be done.  For extra motivation, I know my dad wants to hire a photographer for a new above-the-mantel family portrait while we’re all in Chicago for the holidays. I don’t want to be embarrassed every time I see that picture for the next 5+ years.

My long-term goal for weight loss is to get to my wedding weight. Before you scoff, I assure you that I was not a skinny little thing that day. I was still technically overweight, and I was wearing a size 12 (I think I had one or two pairs of pants in a 10, which I was very psyched about).  Anyways, that number is 35 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight.  So 2010 is all about that 35 pounds.

As for sticking with the program, I am finding the mob mentality group support and competition to be a helpful external motivator.  I believe I was the winner for our 30-day mini-Biggest-Loser challenge among friends, and the Loser Moms competition still has two more weeks remaining (no idea how I compare to other participants, but it helps motivate me to think that I have a shot at winning…).  And as I was thinking about jumping on the Shredhead bandwagon, anyways, I was eager to join their October challenge.   The framework is broad, just do the Shred regularly, try to eat well, and see results!  So, here’s my plan:

For food, I am continuing on Weight Watchers. The points have never done me wrong, so I’m sticking with what works for me.  I will also continue my “no eating after 8PM” rule.  Just having that self-created rule in the back of my head really helps to curb the all-night grazing that I am otherwise tempted to do.

For exercise, the main thrust of the October Shredheads Challenge, my plan is this:

• Tuesday & Thursday is gym day (Day 2 was at least as awesome as Day 1… it’s a whole new world opened up to me!). I’ll do at least 30 minutes of cardio, some core exercises, and possibly some weights.
• I will do the Shred DVD three times per week: two weekdays and one weekend day.  And who knows, maybe by the end of the month, I’ll actually be able to complete the entire 20-minute workout (OMFG it’s haaarrrrdddd!). Oy.

That adds up to five days of exercise per week, which is darn good if you ask me.  I used to exercise like that, way back before I got married and moved away from the greatest gym ever. It’s really, really nice to be active and doing something for myself.

So, what about you?  Are you going to join the challenge?  Do you have your own fitness goals going on right now?

So, I’ve completed my first week of our little weight loss challenge, and it’s a bit mixed. I’m enjoying the EA Sports Active game and its built-in 30-day challenge quite a bit.  It most definitely gets me working hard and sweating, though I do wish it had at least an option for some guided stretching.  The down side of the week is that my plan of “just try to eat better” was not super effective. Shocking, I know!  That someone with life-long struggles with food and weight would have difficulty in simply “eating better!” Heh.  So, I’m back to counting my points with Weight Watchers, which is kind of a drag but really works.

But I decided I needed just a touch more motivation, and I found it over at Loser Moms with Sarah and Devra. They’re running their own Biggest Loser contest, and they’ve put their money (well, all of our money) where their mouths are. Everyone who wants to play along chips in $10, and the person who loses the most weight (percentage-wise) between September 1 and October 15 gets the cash (I think some goes to the runner-up, too).  I think they’re still open to new participants, so jump on in with me, would ya?

Thought I’d post a recipe as a companion to my post today over at The Ladies of Loserville.  Overall, I’ve had a good first week back on the wagon, and this was one of my old favorites that I remembered and cooked up.  You can debate it’s ethnic authenticity, but it’s how my Puerto Rican father-in-law told me how to make the weeknight version, so I’m going to go with it.  So, here you have it: Puerto Rican Pork with Rice and Beans.

Pork

You can use a number of different cuts, but I just go with the easy and quick pork tenderloin (make sure you don’t accidentally pick up one of the ones that comes pre-marinated!).  Season on all sides with salt and pepper, and then positively douse the thing in garlic powder.  Seriously, don’t be shy.  Coat it with garlic powder. Lots of it. Then cover or put in a ziploc bag for anywhere from 6 to 24 hours.

At dinnertime, preheat the oven to 350° and spray a baking dish with non-stick spray.  Put the pork in the dish, and cook until the internal temperature is 160° (maybe 45 minutes? depends on the size of the cut).  Let it rest a few minutes before you slice it.

Rice & Beans

Pink beans are the preferred ones, here.  And if you can find it, the Goya Pink Beans in Sauce (Rosadas Guisadas) are the best.  Otherwise just plain canned pink beans.  Crack open that can, put it in a saucepan over low heat, and add a couple of big heaping spoonfuls of Sofrito sauce (which you can also find in a glass jar in the section of the supermarket with all the other Goya stuff).  Heat it up, and you’re good to go.  Serve over white rice, I prefer medium grain rice with just a touch of olive oil added to the cooking water, along with a generous amount of salt & pepper.

Seriously, this couldn’t be easier for a weeknight.  Just prepare the meat either that morning or even the night before, and then all you have to do is throw it in the oven, heat up the beans, and make some rice.  Hell, if you have a rice cooker with a timer, you can even do that ahead of time!

From a “diet” standpoint, I love that this is not only quite tasty and easy, but I make it exactly the same way whether I’m counting calories or not.  I don’t like to go nuts with recipe trickery in the name of lowering calories, and this one is exactly as-is. For the point-counters out there, this is a 9 point meal.  3 ounces of meat is 3 points, 1 cup of white rice is 4, and 1/2 cup of beans is 2.  Yum!

Alright, after all of the whining on a previous post and general dissatisfaction, my friend Marci has convinced me to join her back on the Weight Watchers point-counting bandwagon.  I never cancelled my membership from earlier this year, I’ll hit the grocery store tonight, and I’ll weigh in and start counting my points tomorrow.

Me being me, of course, I was thinking about blogging it.  Anyone want to join in on a group weight loss blog with me?  It can be any (healthy) method you choose, but I know peer pressure social support is always helpful.  Leave a comment or drop me an email (goddessinprogress . blog @ gmail . com) and we can discuss details…

Well, 5.5, actually.

In keeping with my New Year’s goals, I started Weight Watchers last week. I didn’t mention it then, and I don’t plan on making this blog about my weight issues. But since I had said I was going to do it, I wanted to also say that I followed through.

I have a long history with WW. I’ve counted my points quite a number of times over the past 10 years. And every time, I know it works. I know it’s a smart way of doing things, a good tool to help me learn how to eat, not just “diet.” It doesn’t restrict your food in a “you must eat this, you can’t eat that” kind of way. For those who aren’t familiar with it, the “plan” takes the nutritional info from any given food and uses it to assign a certain number of points. Depending on your current (not desired, but current) weight, you are allotted a number of points per day, plus an extra allowance to use over the course of the week, if you want. So, no one is going to tell you that you can’t have that piece of cheesecake. You can decide that using 15 of your daily 26 points is worth it. Or not. So, it’s a good tool to use to decide which choices are worth it to you, and which aren’t.

And, at least for me, it works. When I’m counting my points and writing down what I’ve eaten that day and drinking my water (yes, water again, always water), the weight comes off. As with anything, it’s a question of commitment and complacency. I lose some weight, I’m happy with my results. But then I get comfortable with the new weight, and I start to slack off. A wedding, a holiday, and suddenly I’m not writing things down and I’ve stopped getting on the scale every week. And then, before I know it, I’m back where I started (or worse). Alas.

I truly believe that people who have never struggled with their weight literally do not understand what it’s like. M’s grandmother is one of these people. She can’t for the life of her figure out why, if we know what the right/healthy choice is, why we have a weight/food problem. Or why we don’t just decide to eat less. People without weight issues don’t see what on earth could be so hard about just “eating better.” Well, conversely, I don’t understand how some people can have two bites of dessert and say “mmm, that was good!” and push it away. Um, hi. If it’s good, I want more!

Alright, I said I wasn’t going to make this blog about weight issues, and I mean it. There’s my update, I’m back on the WW bandwagon (online only, as I refuse to attend meetings anymore). And after one week (admittedly, a week that included a stomach bug, but I’ve never been one to lose weight while sick), I’m down 5.5 pounds. Only… a lot more to go.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled baby programming…